4x23 – Trojan Horse
Navy Yard: front gate
Joe Kelly: These Marines sure take this stuff seriously. Might as well get comfortable, this could take some time. Check the ID, check the trunk. No dogs. Hate dogs. Dogs are a pain in the ass. Never met a dog that didn't want to try to bite me. Looking for bombs or bin Laden, I guess.
Marine: Clear.
Joe Kelly: Finally.
Marine: Proceed.
Maria Sanchez: Good morning, sir. Photo ID and pop the trunk, please.
Joe Kelly: Sure thing.
Maria Sanchez: Drop off?
Joe Kelly: Guy says he wants to see someone at NCIS.
Marine: Clear.
Maria Sanchez: Lower the window, please, sir.
Marine: Hey, buddy, lady needs to see some ID.
Maria Sanchez: Photo ID, please, sir. Sir? Step out of the vehicle, please.
----------
NCIS: Director's office
Cynthia: These files have to be reviewed by Friday.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I'll get to them.
Cynthia: Tomorrow's Friday.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Had a wife like you once, Cynthia... I divorced her.
Cynthia: Beat her to it, did you? You didn't read it.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Scoletti case. I know the case agent. Jeff Gillman. He's a good man.
Cynthia: Director doesn't want Justice not going to trial because of a procedural error.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Well, then the Director should be here instead of shopping in Paris all week.
Cynthia: An Interpol antiterrorist conference isn't shopping.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Yeah.
Cynthia: You know him, too?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Yep. Don't worry. Justice has its own procedural problems... Who's Special Agent Grisham?
Cynthia: Transferred in from San Diego.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Hollywood Special Agent. Rejected.
Cynthia: You have to give a reason... It's her private line.
----------
NCIS: Director's office / Interpol antiterrorist conference
Jennifer Shepard:Hello, Cynthia... Cynthia?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: No...
Jennifer Shepard: Jethro. I should have recognized the heavy breathing. Is the Agency intact?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I cut it up into small bitsy pieces and sold it to the three-letter boys.
Jennifer Shepard: I take it walking my heels has presented a challenge.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Well, I accepted some speaking requests for you.
Jennifer Shepard: Which speaking requests?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Women for Women, St. Paul, Minnesota chapter. The eighth grade class of Hondo Middle School in Hondo, Texas. The teacher, she's an admirer. Society of Preservation for Barbershop Quartets.
Jennifer Shepard: You're not serious, Jethro.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Well, about the barbershop quartets, no, no, I'm not. But I did accept six, seven... Eight, nine others for you.
Jennifer Shepard: Put Cynthia on.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Hey, how's the frog... Legs? You always enjoyed them sauted in butter.
Jennifer Shepard: Cynthia. Now!
Cynthia: Yes, Director.
Jennifer Shepard: Tell me you didn't send out acceptances for speaking engagements.
Cynthia: Of course not, Director.
Jennifer Shepard: Thank you, Cynthia. You have just earned yourself a Hermes scarf.
Cynthia: Thank you, Director.
Man: C' tait un grand plaisir, madame.
Jennifer Shepard: Au revoir... Put him back on.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Yes...?
Jennifer Shepard: Is there any serious business I should know about?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Well, the... Buy America toilet paper doesn't fit the metric fixtures, and we got a truck... She hang up on me.
Cynthia: Shocking.
----------
NCIS: Director's office / NCIS: Squad room
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: You call back to apologize?
Anthony DiNozzo: I don't know what you heard, boss, but I was not the one who started that pool.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: What pool is that, DiNozzo?
Anthony DiNozzo: On the case.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: What case?
Anthony DiNozzo: "There's a dead body in the taxi at the main gate" case.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I'll be right there.
Cynthia: The case files?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Leave them on my desk.
Cynthia: They are on your desk.
----------
Navy Yard: entrance
Donald Mallard: It's not often we get to walk to a crime scene, if this is a crime scene. There's no blood, no bullet holes, no knife punctures, no obvious signs of bruising, no ligiture marks, no petechial hemorrhaging on the eye or eyelid.
Timothy McGee: Natural causes?
Donald Mallard: There's nothing natural about a man of his age keeling over in a taxicab.
Anthony DiNozzo: Maybe he died of embarrassment when he couldn't pay the cab fare.
Donald Mallard: Alas, death by embarrassment is not a certifiable cause, however intriguing the notion.
Anthony DiNozzo: Excuse me, Ducky.
Donald Mallard: It's about time that boy fell in love.
----------
Navy Yard: entrance / Hospital
Jeanne Benoit: I found a house.
Anthony DiNozzo: House? Thought we were renting an apartment.
Jeanne Benoit: No, we're buying a house.
Anthony DiNozzo: Buying?
Jeanne Benoit: It's the most adorable little bungalow, Tony.
Anthony DiNozzo: Only Hollywood has bungalows, Jeanne.
Jeanne Benoit: You don't want to buy a house with me?
Anthony DiNozzo: I love playing House with you.
Jeanne Benoit: Not the same thing.
Anthony DiNozzo: Can I call you back tonight? My boss is on his way over and he doesn't look very happy.
Jeanne Benoit: I thought you ran things over there.
Anthony DiNozzo: I do. Just not all the time. We'll play house tonight.
----------
Navy Yard: entrance
Donald Mallard: Hey, I win the pool!
Anthony DiNozzo: Wait a minute. How do you figure that?
Donald Mallard: I predicted that Gibbs would last four days as Director before reverting to working a case. This is Thursday. Four days!
Anthony DiNozzo: He's not working on case. He's just... Curious.
Donald Mallard: Every time he's been at the crime scene, he's been there to investigate. How is today different?
Anthony DiNozzo: He is in the Navy Yard because that's where the Director's office is located.
Donald Mallard: Let's ask him.
Anthony DiNozzo: So you would have Gibbs give up his post as Acting Director just to win a $50 pool?
Donald Mallard: Yes.
Anthony DiNozzo: Guess it's true what they say about the Scotsmen.
Donald Mallard: I trust that if Gibbs is more than just curious, you will inform me?
Anthony DiNozzo: Scout's honor.
Timothy McGee: You said you were never in the Boy Scouts.
Anthony DiNozzo: I was an Alpha Chi Delta wet T-shirt spring-break talent scout. Does that count? Give me some love.
----------
Hospital
Carly Marcano: You gave that man too much to swallow in one bite, Dr. Benoit.
Jeanne Benoit: It's a house, Carly, not a steak.
Carly Marcano: From rental apartment to buying a house in one phone call, are you crazy? You got to take these things slow. Toss a few home magazines around. Leave the real estate section of the Sunday paper next to the toilet.
Jeanne Benoit: Well, he does crossword puzzles in there.
Carly Marcano: Okay, talk to him about it when he's vulnerable.
Jeanne Benoit: Tony's never vulnerable.
Carly Marcano: Not even when you put on your best bedside manner?
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Navy Yard: entrance
Ziva David: Driver's name is Joe Kelly. He says the victim hailed him on 25th Street and told him to bring him here.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: To see?
Ziva David: Us. He did not specify a particular agent.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Mr. Kelly, did you ever see your fare before?
Joe Kelly: Never.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: He seem injured or ill when you picked him up?
Joe Kelly: Not really. He was kind of out of breath.
Ziva David: Like he was running?
Joe Kelly: Yeah, and he kept looking back over his shoulder like he thought someone might be following us.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Were they?
Joe Kelly: Good luck tailing anyone in D.C. traffic.
Ziva David: Did he speak to you?
Joe Kelly: Not a word. As usual, I did all the talking. Passes the time, you know? I passed the time, he passed away, poor guy.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Yeah, Gibbs.
Cynthia: SecNav is holding, sir.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: SecNav? Tell him I'm...
Cynthia: I already told him you on the Navy Yard and available, sir.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Cynthia, don't ever tell anybody I'm available until I tell you I'm available, okay?
Cynthia: Yes, sir.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Put him through.
----------
Anthony DiNozzo: That the Director on the phone?
Ziva David: SecNav.
Timothy McGee: Wonder what Gibbs did wrong.
Anthony DiNozzo: Slipped into Jenny's heels... Ziva, take the driver's statement.
Ziva David: I already did.
Anthony DiNozzo: McGee crime scene photos, finish 'em.
Timothy McGee: Yeah, I finished them.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: You get an I.D.?
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, the photo on the Yemeni's driver's license matches the victim's.
Ziva David: "Hamal Farhan." No buzzers.
Timothy McGee: Bells.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: What else?
Timothy McGee: List, seven names on it, Farhan is number five.
Ziva David: Obviously, whatever he wanted to tell us had something to do with this list.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Find everyone on it.
Anthony DiNozzo: So, Director, does that mean you're...?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I'm heading the investigation. Hey, Duck, you win the pool.
Donald Mallard: Yes ! Thank you, Jethro.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: And I didn't do anything wrong, McGee.
----------
Rene Benoit's jet
Regine Smidt: Black Rose has countered our ejection-seat bid.
René Benoit: How does the POB hope to maintain a classical ballet company if there are no classical works scheduled?
Regine Smidt: I have no idea. Black Rose, René?
René Benoit: What is La Dame's bid?
Regine Smidt: 20,000 Euros per seat.
René Benoit: Double it.
Regine Smidt: I know you want to corner the market on F-14 components, René, but even if the Iranians pay top Euro by the time we split the shipment for transport...
René Benoit: We're not splitting the shipment now. It's all going on La Tortue. She sails for Hormuz on the 23rd.
Regine Smidt: If the Americans stop her, you risk losing not only the components, but the ship. $68 million and change.
René Benoit: Regine, the U.S. Navy will seize La Tortue after she enters the Persian Gulf. Don't you know Americans pay more to keep their F-14 parts out of Iranian hands than Iranians pay to get them. So... Just double it.
Trent Kort: Nice in 20 minutes.
Regine Smidt: Time to refresh.
Trent Kort: A friend in the GRU informs me that NCIS nipples is quietly trying to locate a former Colonel-General Dimitri Borov.
René Benoit: Elle commence à me gonfler... She is relentless.
Trent Kort: Does that surprise you? She is the first female director of an armed Federal Agency.
René Benoit: Have they located Colonel-General Dimitri Borov?
Trent Kort: Not yet.
René Benoit: Perhaps they should.
----------
NCIS: Squad room
Joe Kelly: I've been hacking cabs for 22 years. Never had a fare die on me. Couple of heart attacks, a suicide attempt or two, but none of them died.
Ziva David: Till now. Anyone who does something for 22 years must love it.
Joe Kelly: You kidding? It's the best job in the world! So now you think I'm crazy, right? But here's the thing. My best friend, I met him in the cab. The guy who does my tax, I met him in the cab. Poker buddies, met'em in the cab. I even met my wife in the cab. Well, three out of four ain't bad.
Ziva David: This is your statement. Read it. If you agree, sign it.
Anthony DiNozzo: I think we should, call for a recount.
Timothy McGee: On what?
Anthony DiNozzo: Ducky winning the pool. Gibbs is up in the Director's office directing, right? We're working the case. He's not... Because he's waiting for me to give him an update. Which I'm gonna do, as soon as Mr. Kelly signs his statement and leaves.
Joe Kelly: I can go?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: You can go to the head or our conference room.
Joe Kelly: He said I could leave.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, what I say doesn't count when the boss is here.
Joe Kelly: Like me when the wife is around.
Ziva David: Mr. Kelly.
Joe Kelly: Lead the way.
Ziva David: Follow me.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Update? McGee.
Timothy McGee: According to Immigration, Hamal Farhan applied for a student visa twice and was turned down twice. Granted a six-month tourist visa.
Anthony DiNozzo: That was a year and a half ago. Even if he had it extended for a year, he's here illegally.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Should we notify Immigration and deport him?
Anthony DiNozzo: That's a good one, boss.
Timothy McGee: Actually, his visa was extended indefinitely. Yemen added Farhan to their Embassy personnel.
Anthony DiNozzo: What are you trying to do, make me look bad?
Timothy McGee: I just read it.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Added as what?
Timothy McGee: A gardener.
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NCIS: conference room
Ziva David: In here. Anything I can get you, Mr. Kelly?
Joe Kelly: My cab so I can leave.
Ziva David: To eat or drink?
Joe Kelly: Philly cheesesteak and a beer would be nice.
Ziva David: No alcoholic beverages allowed. I will work on your sandwich.
Joe Kelly: You gonna lock me in?
Ziva David: No, but there will be an escort outside the door.
Joe Kelly: Is that another name for a guard? Thelma, you're never gonna believe where I am. No, I'm not at Kelsey's Bar.
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NCIS: Autopsy room
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: How did he die, Duck?
Donald Mallard: Quickly, Jethro, as the meter ticked over and without the driver even noticing. And whatever caused his demise is not evident from my autopsy. There's no sign of violence,no lumps, bumps, punctures or holes.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Drug overdose?
Donald Mallard: Well, I can't say for certain till I receive Abby's report. But he didn't die of a cardiac infarction which is how most overdoses kill. His heart shows no sign of coronary artery disease. In fact, it's in excellent condition, as can be said of all your organs. Pity they couldn't all have been donated. They were all so healthy.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Poison?
Donald Mallard: It's the most likely culprit, but again, I wait Abigail.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I thought you were supposed to solve these riddles, Duck.
Donald Mallard: Abby and I like to share.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Right.
Donald Mallard: That wouldn't have been your assistant, would it, Director?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I do hate a nagging woman, Duck.
Donald Mallard: She's only doing her job, Jethro... Ah, Abby. Any news on the tox screen? Abby, Abby, are you there? Oh, I guess she must have... Gone.
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NCIS: garage
Abigael Scuito: Oh, this cab is bringing back memories: cheap vinyl, plastic divider, dirty floors. Actually, these floors are pretty clean. The ones I remember were dirty.
Timothy McGee: Let me guess. Short-lived career as a cabbie?
Abigael Scuito: Ah, a short-lived encounter. Ships in the night... My first time.
Ziva David: For what?
Timothy McGee: Front seat or back?
Abigael Scuito: Back. Well, both, kind of.
Ziva David: Oh... My first time was in a weapons carrier.
Timothy McGee: Of course it was.
Abigael Scuito: Of course it was.
Ziva David: Where was the cabbie when this encounter took place?
Abigael Scuito: He was the cabbie, putting himself through school. It was his first time, too.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: First time for what?
Abigael Scuito: Seeing a curling match, Gibbs. Have you ever seen a curling match? The pristine ice and those little brooms that sweep...
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: That's a clean cab.
Abigael Scuito: So, what killed him, heart attack?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: No, Ducky ruled out a heart attack.
Ziva David: Poison looks better all the time.
Abigael Scuito: Well, Major Mass Spectrometer is working as fast as he can.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Make him work faster, Abby.
Abigael Scuito: Yes, sir.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Running shoe.
Timothy McGee: Yeah, that impression matches Farhan's left foot. The cab must have been cleaned before he was picked up. After he hailed the cab, like most passengers he didn't sit directly behind the driver. Crossed his leg like this.
Ziva David: Then he died.
Timothy McGee: In a very relaxed position.
Ziva David: May have been a natural death, Gibbs. I know he was healthy and young, but it does happen SADS.
Timothy McGee: No, sad. No S.
Ziva David: No it is SADS. Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome.
Timothy McGee: Right. Sorry.
Ziva David: It can leave the heart looking perfectly normal.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: McGee, you check out our cabbie?
Timothy McGee: Not yet. That is my next task.
Anthony DiNozzo: Hey, boss.
----------
NCIS: elevator
Anthony DiNozzo: Five of the seven names found on the list in Farhan's wallet are dead.
Ziva David: A hit list?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: When?
Anthony DiNozzo: First died three weeks ago. The last... Not including Farhan... Monday.
Timothy McGee: Kind of rules out your SADS theory, Ziva.
Anthony DiNozzo: SADS?
Ziva David: Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome.
Anthony DiNozzo: I know what it is, Ziva. It's number two on the list. Sean Price, 24, died of SADS.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: The others?
Anthony DiNozzo: Heart attack.
Timothy McGee: Or a blown autopsy.
Anthony DiNozzo: No autopsy. He was 79. One car crash, one drowning. One list, five people.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: You and Ziva find the two live names on this list. Look for a connection.
Ziva David: David Brown and Robert Smith. There'll be dozens of them.
Anthony DiNozzo: I read the obits. If there's a connection, I didn't see it.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: There's a connection.
Anthony DiNozzo: What?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: They're all dead.
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NCIS: conference room
Joe Kelly: Relax, Thelma, they won't keep me here overnight. I'll be out of here soon.Right, boss?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I'm not your boss.
Joe Kelly: Right now it sure feels like it.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: When'd you have the cab cleaned?
Joe Kelly: I got it that way from dispatch.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: How many fares before Farhan.
Joe Kelly: He was my first.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: He was looking over his shoulder?
Joe Kelly: Till he was sure we weren't being tailed. Then he relaxed. Maybe I just thought he relaxed, seeing how he was dead. Can I get my cab and go now?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Not yet.
----------
NCIS: squad room
Ziva David: I am very relieved that none of the deceased are your friends or relatives.
Anthony DiNozzo: Hi, may I speak with David Brown?
Ziva David: Yes, I am certain they are dead.
Anthony DiNozzo: Thanks.
Ziva David: Oh, no, no, I wouldn't send flowers.
Anthony DiNozzo: May I speak with David Brown?
Ziva David: If you wish to send a sympathy card, I am sure it would be very appreciated... Well, you have a good life, too.
Anthony DiNozzo: I wouldn't normally ask you this, but since you don't know the deceased, I was wondering if you'd be interested in subscribing to our DVD club. It's mostly East German films. Because I have a very special... Gets them off the line fast every time. Hey, boss, 32 David Browns in the metro area. So far I've talked to four.
Ziva David: 41 Robert Smiths, two.
Anthony DiNozzo: And I notified the Yemen embassy of...
Cynthia: Director Gibbs! Your cell phone is off.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Because I shut it off.
Cynthia: The Yemen embassy has been calling for the Director.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Did you tell them she's in Paris?
Cynthia: Yes.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Good.
Cynthia: I also told them you were Acting Director. They're sending an attache to identify the body.
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NCIS: Autopsy room
Ameen Temani: Yes, that is him, Hamal Farhan. When will the body be released?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: When we know how he died and why.
Ameen Temani: You suspect murder?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I always suspect murder when a healthy young man dies of no apparent cause.
Donald Mallard: Finding the cause of death could take several days.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Weeks.
Ameen Temani: It is our request that Mr. Farhan be turned over to the embassy immediately.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Kid must have been a hell of a gardener.
Ameen Temani: He had no family in America. We take care of our own.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: This time of night, the embassy sends an e-mail, not a cultural attache, Dr. Temani.
Ameen Temani: You are Acting Director of NCIS, I believe?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Director will be back at the end of the week if you want to wait around.
Ameen Temani: Mr. Farhan wanted to attend an American university, but was repeatedly denied a student visa.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: So he took up gardening?
Ameen Temani: Only on paper. He stops at the embassy every Friday just to pick up a paycheck.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: He was connected.
Ameen Temani: Yes. The son of one of the Prime Minister's advisors. Hamal wanted to learn English and study American culture, nothing more.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Did I say there was?
Ameen Temani: No, but I know what you're thinking. Hamal was not the type to be involved with terrorism.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: He asked to be brought to NCIS for a reason.
Ameen Temani: I cannot imagine why.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: The last person from your country who asked to talk to NCIS was killed.
Ameen Temani: When was that?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: October 10, 2000. Two days before the terrorist attack on USSCole.
----------
NCIS: squad room
Anthony DiNozzo: Do you know Maury Goldberg, Thomas West, Adam Zeileg, Sean Price or Hamal Farhan?
Mr. Brown: Adam West?
Anthony DiNozzo: No, not Adam West. Adam Zeileg or Thomas West...
Mr. Brown: No, but I know Burt Ward
Anthony DiNozzo: You know Burt Ward?
Mr. Brown: Yeah, I do.
Anthony DiNozzo: Really? Holy molars! No kidding. On The Simpsons? Which one? Is that the one with the Muslim guy on the bike? Thanks for your help, Mr. Brown. Tell Burt, Tony says hi. I know, boss. This isn't TV trivia. A dead man was left on our door step clutching a hit list. Well not exactly clutching, but with a hit list in his wallet, and we have to find the two names on the list that haven't been hit yet before they are hit.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: No, DiNozzo.
Anthony DiNozzo: No?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: We have to find the dirt bag that killed the other five!
Cynthia: Agent Gibbs?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: What?!
Cynthia: Justice called on the Scoletti case. They've granted the defense permission to do their own ballistics test tomorrow.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Tell Special Agent Gillman this is his case.
Cynthia: As Acting Director, You have to sign off on it... We still have those case files to review... We can do them later.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Joe Kelly.
Timothy McGee: Uh, legit. He's had a IC licence in D.C. for 22 years. Other than a couple of minor traffic violations, he's clean... He has been here a while. Should we release him?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: If I wanted him released, McGee...
Timothy McGee: You would have told me.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Scoletti's lawyers have a hired gun coming into check Abby's ballistics. Tell Abby.
Timothy McGee: I'd really rather not.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: It wasn't a request.
Ziva David: When is the Director returning?
Anthony DiNozzo: Sometime tomorrow.
Ziva David: I don't think Gibbs is going to last that... Hello? Yes. Mister Smith. I'm calling from NCIS. Naval Criminal Investigative Service.
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NCIS: Abby's lab
Abigael Scuito: They're questioning the validity of my ballistics?!
Timothy McGee: Scoletti's lawyers are desperate. They're desperate. They're like drowning men grasping...
Abigael Scuito: At thin polystyrene tubes?
Timothy McGee: I was going to say straws, but I do like that idiom better.
Abigael Scuito: Because mine's more accurate. I mean, does saying, "grasping at straws" tell you if they're made out of paper or glass or metal or polystyrene? No! I pride myself on the accuracy of my forensics, and lawyers... Lawyers are questioning it!
Timothy McGee: Abby, they don't know you like we know you. Okay? They're hoping that you made a mistake, but when their ballistic experts don't find any, that makes your forensics all the more damning in court. So please do not let desperate lawyers grasping at thin polystyrene tubes upset you, please?
Abigael Scuito: I love you, McGee. Not like love you, love you. Not that l don't love you, because I do, kind of. You know, like... Like the way I love puppies.
Timothy McGee: I could have done without that comparaison.
Abigael Scuito: But I love puppies.
----------
NCIS: conference room
Joe Kelly: You'll just have to wait. They can't hold me here overnight. My wife doesn't believe I'm being held by Navy cops.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: He's a material witness.
Joe Kelly: Thanks, pal. You know how wives are... They don't trust you as far as they can kick you.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Wouldn't know. Never married.
Joe Kelly: How did you get away?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: After a while, women... They just don't like me.
Joe Kelly: What do you do, leave the toilet lid up?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I know when they're lying... Men, too... From the top.
Joe Kelly: The guy was my first fare. Flagged me down outside Kelsey's Bar on 25th.
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NCIS: squad room
Anthony DiNozzo: Done.
Ziva David: I have a dozen Smiths left. Want to take half of them?
Anthony DiNozzo: I don't think so.
Ziva David: Will make it worth your wow.
Anthony DiNozzo: While. Not wow.
Ziva David: Wow makes more sense.
Anthony DiNozzo: You're right. Wow would be better.
Ziva David: Then you'll help me?
Anthony DiNozzo: No.
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NCIS: squad room / hospital
Jeanne Benoit: Did you call to apologize?
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah. You're right. I was in a rush. I should have taken more time.
Jeanne Benoit: Me, too. I sprung that house on you.
Anthony DiNozzo: It was a surprise.
Jeanne Benoit: You willing to look at it with me?
Anthony DiNozzo: Look? Yeah, when?
Jeanne Benoit: Saturday.
Anthony DiNozzo: Deal.
Jeanne Benoit: I got to go. I love you, Tony.
Anthony DiNozzo: Love you, too, Jeanne.
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NCIS: Abby's lab
Timothy McGee: Come on. You can tell us what you're feeling.
Abigael Scuito: Stop nagging my baby or you can plot the mass spectrum on a graph yourself, McGee. Perfect. You know what they say about the watched pot, right? Don't you have something to do?
Timothy McGee: No. Not until Major Mass Spec tells me if Farhan was poisoned or not.
Abigael Scuito: Be a good boy and go get me Scoletti's weapon out of the evidence locker.
Timothy McGee: You gonna run another ballistics test?
Abigael Scuito: No, I've already quadruple-checked that, but the serial number was filed off of the weapon. I used an acid-etching solution to lift it up... I'm going to quadruple check that now.
Timothy McGee: Abby. You did not make an error.
Abigael Scuito: By the time you get back, the kettle will be whistling... If not sooner. Saxitoxin?
Timothy McGee: Never heard of it.
Abigael Scuito: It's a neurotoxin. It's found in most cases of paralytic shellfish poisoning.
Timothy McGee: He ate a bad clam?
Abigael Scuito: I don't know.
Timothy McGee: What are you looking for?
Abigael Scuito: Gibbs. He has this uncanny way of just showing up whenever I make a discovery.
Timothy McGee: He's a little bit off his game since he's been playing Director.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Is that so, McGee? Both of you, get down here.
----------
NCIS: autopsy room
Donald Mallard: Saxitoxin is produced by a single-cell organism that flourishes in the warm months. It is eaten by oysters, clams, mussels, and is responsible for the deadly phenomenon known as "red tide." The poison disrupts the electrical impulses to the brain, and the body basically forgets how to breath, how to live, and it's practically undetectable. Good work, my dear.
Abigael Scuito: Thank you, Ducky.
Donald Mallard: You're welcome.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Whenever you two are done.
Donald Mallard: Yes, well, six-tenths of a milligram could kill an adult. That level is consistent with, well, for example, improperly prepared fugu.
Timothy McGee: It's a blowfish. Japanese delicacy.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Perhaps death was accidental?
Donald Mallard: Not likely. His stomach was empty.
Abigael Scuito: And even if it wasn't, the saxitoxin levels were a hundred times higher than he could have possibly consumed by eating shellfish. There's nothing in nature with that high of a concentration.
Donald Mallard: During the 50s, a suicide pill was synthesized using contaminated butter clams.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: By who?
Donald Mallard: Our old friends, The CIA.
----------
Paris: Shepard's car / Bridge
Jennifer Shepard: Shepard.
Trent Kort: Colonel-General Borov.
Jennifer Shepard: Who is this?
Trent Kort: I have located him. Place de la Concorde... Circle the obelisk. I will be waiting where Marie lost her head. Ten minutes.
Jennifer Shepard: Place de la Concorde. And hit it.
Lynn Davis: Yes, Director.
----------
Place de la Concorde: car
Jennifer Shepard: There he is. Pull over.
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Car
Trent Kort: After Pulp Fiction, a gun aimed my way in a car makes me nervous.
Jennifer Shepard: Put it away, Hektor.
Trent Kort: And turn around, Hektor. This is to be a private conversation.
Jennifer Shepard: Colonel-General Borov.
Trent Kort: No foreplay?
Jennifer Shepard: No time.
Trent Kort: So American.
Jennifer Shepard: Is La Grenouille in Paris?
Trent Kort: That's better. No. He is in Nice. I'm joining him later tonight.
Jennifer Shepard: Why is the CIA helping me?
Trent Kort: Perhaps we believe in righting a wrong... Colonel-General Borov's address.
Jennifer Shepard: He's in a hospital?
Trent Kort: Dying of lung cancer. Pull over by the bridge... There's an e-ticket in your name with a visa at Charles de Gaulle. Aeroflot Flight SU 252 to Moscow. It departs in three hours... Au revoir, Chérie.
----------
NCIS: Squad room
Ziva David: We are trying to establish a timeline of Farhan's final ride, Gibbs.
Timothy McGee: Taxicab's on board computer tracked his movements with a GPS, and determined the fare based on how many zones it crossed.
Ziva David: Our cabbie did not take the most direct route from the Embassy.
Anthony DiNozzo: This is America, Ziva. Land of opportunity. No cabbie ever takes the quickest route.
Timothy McGee: He dropped down along the river, circumvented the city center.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: How much?
Timothy McGee: $27.65.
----------
NCIS: conference room
Joe Kelly: Hope you guys are on overtime.
Ziva David: Is this the route you took to the Navy Yard this afternoon?
Joe Kelly: More or less.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: More. The fare was $27.65.
Ziva David: It does not match the distance you said you traveled.
Joe Kelly: There was traffic. I was trying to avoid it. Got jammed up. He wasn't complaining, you know?
Ziva David: Because he was dead.
Joe Kelly: The wife. I'm going to take this because she scares me more than you guys.
----------
NCIS: conference room / NCIS garage
Joe Kelly: Thelma?
Mario Vicentti: I made the switch. Now get us the hell out of here.
Joe Kelly: I'm trying, Thelma, I'm trying.
Mario Vicentti: Yeah, well, try harder, sweet pea.
Joe Kelly: I'm pretty sure they're going to let me go soon.
Mario Vicentti: Well, they'd better, or you're going to end up like your fare.
Joe Kelly:Love you, too, sweetheart.
----------
NCIS: conference room
Joe Kelly: Thelma's really getting worried.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: The route.
Joe Kelly: Okay, so maybe I took the long way around. What cabbie doesn't now and then? Report me to the commission. I'll report myself to the commission. Just tell me we're done. Tell me I can get my cab and go home to Thelma.
Ziva David: Abby's done with the taxi and he's been here all the day.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Call the front gate.
Joe Kelly: Thank you. Thank you...
Ziva David:Just go home to your wife.
Joe Kelly: Did I tell you Thelma and I are going to take a cruise to the Bahamas?
----------
NCIS: Abby's lab
Abigael Scuito: Bingo. So how did it get there, Abigail?
----------
NCIS: Squad room
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: What are we watching?
Timothy McGee: It's an NSA decryption program scanning all possible connections between people on the list.
Anthony DiNozzo: There's a five and a three in all their Social Security numbers.
Timothy McGee: Except for Farhan, who didn't have a Social Security card.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: I have the numbers three and five in mine.
Timothy McGee: Me, too.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: That's it? No other connections?
Timothy McGee: Nope. No common churches, social clubs, schools, fraternities, nothing.
Anthony DiNozzo: The only place these people ever met was in the obituaries.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Pull up the full pages of the obituaries... Where're your eyes go to?
Timothy McGee: The photos.
Anthony DiNozzo: You think their names were randomly picked from the obits?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Gives the appeance of a hit list. The only one actually murdered was Farhan.
Timothy McGee: Why?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: To distract us.
Abigael Scuito: Gibbs. Unless this foam grew legs, something weird is going on. Not that polrethane foam growing legs isn't weird in the first place, but this is the foam that we found on the floor of the taxi, and this foam is exactly the same.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: The point.
Abigael Scuito: Well, I just found this foam inside the evidence lock-up.
----------
NCIS: garage
Ziva David: David... Too late, he's gone.
----------
Car
Mario Vicentti: Speed it up.
Joe Kelly: 15's the limit. Never had my ass give me orders.
Mario Vicentti: What?
Joe Kelly: Main gate's coming up.
----------
Navy Yard: front gate
Joe Kelly: Hi, NCIS call about me?
Keener: They did, sir. Both hands on the wheel.
Joe Kelly: Okay, okay, whatever you say.
Keener: Step out of the taxi.
Joe Kelly: Hands on the wheel or step out? I can't do both.
Keener: Guess.
Joe Kelly: Oh, man.
Keener: Both hands on the hood.
Joe Kelly: What is this, Baghdad? Gibbs! Thank God you're here. Tell these GIrines I can go.
Anthony DiNozzo: Clear.
Joe Kelly: Clear? It's empty.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Front or back?
Joe Kelly: What?
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Which seat?!
Joe Kelly: Which seat? What are you talking about?
Ziva David: The accomplice you smuggled into the evidence lock-up.
Joe Kelly: Accomplice? Thelma looks like you when she's pissed, only she doesn't have a gun, thank God.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Front or back?
Joe Kelly: Front, front.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Name?
Joe Kelly: Mario Vincetti.
Leroy Jehtro Gibbs: Mario! Special Agent Gibbs. Come out. Slowly, hands first.
Joe Kelly: There's no sense in getting...
Mario Vicentti: Don't shoot. I'm coming out... I said drive faster.
Ziva David: And to think I pitied a murderer.
Joe Kelly: Murderer? That guy was murdered? I didn't know. I ain't no murderer. Mario told me the guy was a stiff they got from a funeral home. Tell them.
Mario Vicentti: Let Scoletti's lawyers do the talking, dummy.
Joe Kelly: Scoletti's lawyers got us into this mess.
Mario Vicentti: Shut up!
Joe Kelly: Honest, I didn't know they killed the guy. I was going to get ten grand, take Thelma on a Princess cruise to the Bahamas. A second honeymoon. We never had a first... Tell her enough with the evil eye. It reminds me of my mother.
Ziva David: You're comparing me to your mother.
Joe Kelly: Just the eyes, maybe a little around the mouth.
Ziva David: Permission to shoot?
----------
Hopital: hallway
Nurse: [Speaking Russian]
Darya Borov: And you come all the way from America to see my grandfather?
Jennifer Shepard: Actually, I was in Paris when I found out he was ill.
Darya Borov: He is dying. This week, perhaps next. Lung cancer.
Jennifer Shepard: I'm sorry.
Darya Borov: Still, you must have flown half the day to get here.
Jennifer Shepard: I'm writing my father's biography. He and the Colonel-General were close friends.
Darya Borov: They were adversaries, yes?
Jennifer Shepard: Sometimes adversaries make the best friends.
Darya Borov: Most days the morphine affects his memory.
Jennifer Shepard: Let's hope this isn't one of them.
----------
Hopital: Borov's room
Darya Borov: [Speaking Russian]
Dimitri Borov: Stuff the crocus. Do you have a cigarette?
Darya Borov: Cigarettes put you here.
Dimitri Borov: Oh, what are they going to do? Kill me twice?
Darya Borov: It appears to be a good day. I will find a vase.
Dimitri Borov: Do you have a cigarette? Your father and I swapped Cuban cigars for American cigarettes... Like vodka. It does not burn so much the second time... You... Did not come all this way... To watch an old man die.
Jennifer Shepard: No... I came for your signature.
Dimitri Borov: What does it say?
Jennifer Shepard: That you verified the destruction of Warsaw Pact weapons that were in fact acquired by an arms dealer known as La Grenouille.
Dimitri Borov: Are you angry at your father?
Jennifer Shepard: No. Why would you even think that?
Dimitri Borov: We had to mutually verify. La Grenouille paid him, too.
Jennifer Shepard: That's a lie.
Dimitri Borov: A dying man does not lie. Ask your father.
Jennifer Shepard: My father's dead.
Dimitri Borov: He beat me to it... When?
Jennifer Shepard: 12 years ago.
Dimitri Borov: The old fox. One last move on the game, huh?
Jennifer Shepard: My father has been dead since '95.
Dimitri Borov: He stood where you stand... Three weeks ago, smoking a cigar.
