NAVY NCIS
Production 045

“SWAK”

      
 FADE IN:    
     
 INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY     
     
TONY: Wow.  What’d you do?  Spend the night sake-bombing?    
KATE: It’s a cold, Tony.  Sake-bombing?    
TONY: Oh, come on, Kate.  Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of sake-bombing?    
KATE: Would I ask if – forget it.  I don’t want to know.    
TONY: You take a cup of hot sake.  You drop it in a beer.  You toss it back and – and KA-BOOM!    
KATE: Sake-bombing.    
TONY: Great for a cold.    
KATE: I’ll stick to honey and hot tea, thanks.    
TONY: McGee, Kate’s never been sake-bombing.    
MCGEE: You know, I don’t think I have either.    
TONY: I work with a pair of wankers.    
GIBBS: And you make three, DiNozzo.    
TONY: Good morning, Boss!    
KATE: Good morning.    
GIBBS: Cold or flu?    
KATE: Just plain cold.  Don’t worry.  I will sneeze into my tissues, unlike some people.    
TONY: I have allergies, Kate.    
GIBBS: Never had allergies.  Never had a cold.   

 
KATE: You never had a cold?    
GIBBS: Nope.  Never had the flu either.    
KATE: Why do I believe that?    
TONY: If you were a bug, would you attack Gibbs?    
MCGEE: I get colds all the time.    
TONY: Of course you do, Probie.    
MCGEE: This one is just addressed to “NCIS Special Agent.”    
TONY: I think that’s mine, McGee.  Huh?    
MCGEE: How do you know?    
TONY: I recognize the lips.  And the scent.    
KATE: Gummy Bears? (TONY OPENS THE ENVELOPE AND BLOWS)   
     
  (FADE OUT)   
     
  (THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES / CREDITS AND OUT)   
     
 MUSIC IN:    
     
 INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY     
     
 “SWAK”    
     
  (SFX: GIBBS WHISTLES)   
GIBBS: We’ve opened a letter with white powder.  Use the southeast corridor to the holding room.  You all know the drill.  

 
KATE: Tony!  (INTO PHONE)  Letter opened in Special Agent Gibbs’s office dispersed a fine white powder.  Initiating bio-attack procedures.  Third floor is evacuating.    
GIBBS: McGee, are you up on procedures?    
MCGEE: Yeah, we shower, burn our clothes, get our blood tested.  Nobody leaves the building until the substance is identified except…    
TONY: Lucky me!  I win a free trip to Bethesda to be pricked like a pin cushion.    
KATE: They’ve shut down the air.  Let’s hit the showers, Tony!    
TONY: Thought you’d never ask.  Sorry, Boss.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. SHOWERS – DAY  SOUND OF WATER OVER DIALOGUE    
     
TONY: Who would send me a letter with anthrax?    
KATE: Pick a girl, Tony.  Any girl.    
TONY: It’s not funny, Kate.    
KATE: Yeah, I know.    
TONY: This is serious.    
KATE: I know, Tony.  I’m sorry.    
TONY: This very instant somebody is incinerating my Ermenegildo Zegna suit, my Armani tie, my Dolce Gabbana shirt, and my Gucci shoes!      
MCGEE: You know, it might not be anthrax.    
TONY: I like the sound of that, Probie.    
MCGEE: It could be small pox, bubonic plague, cholera…    
TONY: Probie!    
MCGEE: Foot powder, face powder, talcum powder.    
TONY: Honey Dust!    
MCGEE: Honey Dust?  

 
TONY: Honey Dust.  I give it to girls – women, sorry, Kate.  I give it to women at Christmastime.  Very sensuous.  You apply it with a feather.    
KATE: You don’t use the whole chicken?    
MCGEE: I never heard of Honey Dust.    
KATE: Yeah, that’s because your mother raised you to respect women, McGee.    
GIBBS: It makes a women’s skin feel silky smooth.  When kissed, it tastes like honey. (V.O.)  Got a box of Honey Dust last Christmas.  No card.    
TONY: Ah, I think the post office screwed up, Boss.  Someone else got your bottle of Jack and you got the--     
KATE: Hey!  Doesn’t the post office irradiate our mail?    
MCGEE: Yeah, that’s right.  All Federal mail is funneled through the Ion Beam facility in Bridgeport, New Jersey.  If it has DNA, it dies.    
TONY: The diseases that you named, they have DNA?    
MCGEE: They do.    
KATE: Ah, you should have let him squirm.    
TONY: Ha ha!  Then it’s no worries.    
GIBBS: Unless the post office screwed up again. (SHOWER OUT)   
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY     
     
  (MUSIC OVER ACTION/MEN IN SUITS/ CLEAN AND VACUUM)   
  (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY     
     
GIBBS: You should have given the letter to me, McGee.    
MCGEE: I know, Boss.    
KATE: It’s not McGee’s fault.  Tony snatched it out of his hand.      
TONY: So now it’s my bad?    
MCGEE: You did grab it, Tony.    
TONY: Lame excuse, Probie.  You should have stopped me.    
DUCKY: Where do you think you’re going?    
GIBBS: To find out who sent the letter.    
DUCKY: Ah ah ah ah ah.  You cannot leave autopsy.  It’s negative pressure so airborne pathogens can’t contaminate the rest of the building.    
GIBBS: Ducky, I have been scrubbed, sanitized, for all I know, sterilized!  I have an investigation to open!    
DUCKY: I have a possible contagion to contain.  Until your blood test clears you, I cannot permit you to leave this room.    
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)   
PARAMEDIC: Who opened the envelope?    
TONY: He did.    
MCGEE: No no no!  It wasn’t me!    
TONY: Just kidding. I’m your pin cushion.    
PARAMEDIC: Did you inhale any powder?    
TONY: I might have.    
DUCKY: We took blood.  Jimmy?    
JIMMY: Yeah.  Four blood vials on ice to go.    
  (KATE SNEEZES)   
KATE: It’s a cold.  I had it before I came in this morning.  

 
DUCKY: Which makes you even more susceptible to airborne pathogens.  You should go in the hospital, too.    
KATE: Oh, no!    
GIBBS: Kate, play it safe.  Go with Tony.    
KATE: That’s safe?  How long are we going to have to stay in isolation?    
PARAMEDIC: At least overnight.    
TONY: Can we have double beds because I hate it when you get that crease when you push the two--    
  (GIBBS WHACKS TONY)   
TONY: If I get anthrax, how will you feel?    
GIBBS: Not as bad as you, DiNozzo.    
PARAMEDIC: Let’s go.    
KATE: I’m warning you, DiNozzo.    
TONY: Yeah?    
KATE: I do not feel well.    
TONY: You need to relax.  You need a foot massage.    
KATE: I don’t want you anywhere near my feet. I don’t want you touching my feet.    
TONY: You don’t feel well and--    
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED)    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. LAB – DAY     
     
  (MUSIC PLAYS B.G.) 

 
  (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ ABBY SAMPLES THE ENVELOPE AND PERFORMS TESTS)    
ABBY: So how long to Atlanta?    
LIEUTENANT: Less than an hour.  Your music’s sweet.    
ABBY: So are you.  Hoo!  Talk to Mama.    
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) I didn’t take you for the cheerleader type, Abby.    
ABBY: Oh, I’m not.  Grammy taught me that. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)   
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) She was an Olympic swimmer.  Won the Silver in the two hundred meter butterfly.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
JIMMY: What does swimming have to do…     
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
JIMMY: (ON MONITOR) …with cartwheeling?    
ABBY: Nothing.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
JIMMY: I don’t understand.    
MCGEE: You can’t think logically with Abby.  Her mind operates like a pachinko machine.    
GIBBS: What was the powder, Abby?    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: White.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) With a hint of tan.    
GIBBS: Abs!    
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Well, it’s all I know until my baby speaks to me.  I’m auto-sampling for anthrax, botulism…    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: …. Plague, cholera, all those nasty little bio-buggers.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: How long?    
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) A couple hours.    
GIBBS: I thought you said these tests were fast.    
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) It’s not a pregnancy test, Gibbs.    
  (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)   
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION HALLWAY – DAY     
     
TONY: You should drink more water.    
KATE: Tony.    
TONY: Your urine’s too dark.    
KATE: I have a cold.  I can’t believe you’re commenting on my – eeugh!  

 
DOCTOR PITT: Neither can I.  Doctor Brad Pitt.  Yes, it’s my real name and no we’re not related.  I wish we were.  I’d love to meet Angelina Jolie.    
  (KATE LAUGHS)   
TONY: If I said what he said you would… elbow me.     
  (TONY/ KATE AND PITT WALK TO THE ISOLATION CUBE)   
DOCTOR PITT: Well, it’s not The Four Seasons, but let’s hope you’re not here long.    
  (SFX: WHOOSH)   
KATE: Negative pressure?    
DOCTOR PITT: Mm-hmm.  Air can flow in, but not out.  I’d like you to meet Lieutenant Emma Ingham, your duty nurse for tonight.    
EMMA: Hi, guys.  How are you?    
DOCTOR PITT: As a precaution, I’m starting your prophylaxis with streptomycin.       
KATE: Prophylaxis is a measure taken for the prevention of disease, Tony.    
TONY: That’s why I use them.    
  (SFX: EMMA LAUGHS)   
KATE: Oh, you don’t want to encourage him, Lieutenant.    
EMMA: Sorry.  Um… take any beds you want, you guys.    
TONY: Thank you, Nurse Emma.    
DOCTOR PITT: But it’s prudent to keep some separation in case one of you has been infected.    
KATE: Thank you, Doctor!    
DOCTOR PITT: Brad.  We’re informal here.    
KATE: Kate.    
TONY: Are these things sunlamps, Brad?    
DOCTOR PITT: U.V.  Kills the bacteria in the air, although I can arrange for a sunlamp if you wish.    
TONY: Oh, not for me.  It’s for Kate.    
KATE: What?    
TONY: Yeah, a little nude sunbathing might get rid of those tan lines.    
KATE: Doctor, could you put him to sleep, please?    
TONY: ‘Bye Nurse Emma.    
EMMA: Bye.    
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
GIBBS: (V.O.)  Swak?    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY     
     
ABBY: It’s sealed with a kiss, Gibbs. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)   
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Didn’t you ever get a love letter?    
GIBBS: Does a Dear John count?    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: Ah.  I feel sorry for you, Gibbs.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: Is there a return address?    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: Twenty seven Old Mill Bottom Road…    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Annapolis, Maryland.    
GIBBS: McGee, you got that?    
MCGEE: Got it.  I just wish I had my PDA.    
GIBBS: Use Ducky’s.    
JIMMY: Uh… uh… Agent Gibbs, Sir, Doctor Mallard doesn’t have…    
GIBBS: Requisition replacement cell phones and weapons for my team.  Go!    
JIMMY: Pistols?    
GIBBS: Well no, Palmer.  Crossbows if you think they might work better.  (TO ABBY)  Cancelled stamp?    
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Noon yesterday, Annapolis.    
     
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) Open it!    
ABBY: Normally I’d request a please, but…    
     
  (SCENE CUT)   
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) …Considering the situation.    
MCGEE: Boss, I can’t find Ducky’s PDA.    
GIBBS: McGee, it’s a pad and a pencil! (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)   
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. INNER LAB – DAY     
     
DUCKY: Oh, beautiful calligraphy.    
ABBY: Beautiful paper.  It must be thirty two pound cotton rag.  

 
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) Abby, does that mean you can trace it?    
ABBY: The water mark will tell me where it was made…    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) … When it was made, and who sold it.  The person that sent this… may as well have signed it.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: You know, there was a time when every young woman of breeding was taught calligraphy.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) My mother still tries, but her hand shakes so that…    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: …Even I can’t read all her missives.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: Can you read this missive, Ducky?    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: Oh, yes.  It’s perfectly legible.    
ABBY: Um… I think he means read it out loud.  

 
DUCKY: Oh, sorry.  Of course.  Uh…(READS)  “If you are reading this and have not initiated biological attack procedures, I suggest you do so immediately.”    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) “Since the powder dispersed by opening this envelope contains genetically altered…”    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: “…Y. pestis.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: Which is Latin for what?    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: Plague!    
  (MUSIC UP AND OUT)   
     
 FADE IN:    
     
 INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY     
     
GIBBS: The powder in that envelope carries bubonic plague?    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: Pneumonic is more likely.    
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) There’s more than one?    
DUCKY: Oh, there are three, actually.  But pneumonic is by far the most dangerous since it can be spread simply by breathing the Y. pestis particles.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: Tony must have breathed in some of them.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: It may not be alive.  Y. pestis needs a host or moisture for it to survive more than a few hours.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
MCGEE: Plus it was irradiated when it went through the mail, Boss.    
GIBBS: I got a Honey Dust for Christmas, McGee.    
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) I’ll narrow my test to pneumonic Y. pestis.      
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: If I can isolate the strain, then Bethesda can hit it with a specific antibiotic.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: Yeah, well that may not help.  It says here, “I have genetically altered the Y. pestis to render it impervious to antimicrobials.    
ABBY: That bitch!  She created a strain that…    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR)… Antibiotics can’t whack.    
GIBBS: Ducky, give Bethesda a heads up.    
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) Right.    
GIBBS: A swak does not mean that this bitch couldn’t be a bastard!    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: You’re so right, Gibbs.  I have this friend who’s a transvestite.  Her lips could outswak Angelina Jolie’s.  Remember, McGee?  You met her at my birthday party.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
MCGEE: Yeah, the low-cut red dress with a built-in plastic--    
  (GIBBS WHACKS MCGEE)   
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: I saw that, Gibbs.    
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) Read, or you’ll feel it.    
ABBY: Not while you’re down there.    
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) What?!    
ABBY: However, there is an antidote.  She made a magic bullet.      
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR)  “Which if administered within thirty two hours of infection, will eradicate the disease.”    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
   

 
ABBY: “To procure the antidote, NCIS must make public the true results reported in…    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (READS ON MONITOR) … “Dossier R-Zero Three Seven Seven.    
GIBBS: McGee, pull up the file.    
MCGEE: Yep, Romeo Zero Three Seven Seven.  On it, Boss.    
GIBBS: Is that it?    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: That’s all she wrote.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) It’s guilded inside.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: I can see the swak through – uh-oh.  We have a moisture strip in here.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: Yeah, keeping the bug alive until the letter is opened.    
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) I’m afraid so, Gibbs.    
GIBBS: Check the cancelled stamp, Abs!    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) One way to get around postal irradiation – to not use the post office.    
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
DUCKY: I spoke with a Doctor Brad Pitt.    
ABBY: You’re kidding.    
DUCKY: No, that’s his name.  He made a point to stress that he is not related in any way to the actor.    
ABBY: Hey, did you hear when Brad and Jen split up?    
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) Abby!    
ABBY: Gibbs, I can’t until I can put this under a microscope.  And I can’t do that until NCID gives me approval to irradiate.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: Okay, which will be when?    
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) The Navy is sending a sample to Atlanta.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: It should be there… well, now.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) And then it’ll be twelve hours for DNA confirmation.    
GIBBS: Ducky, what’s the incubation period?    
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) A day at most.    
GIBBS: How long until it kills?    
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) Well, not very long, I’m afraid.  In the fourteenth century, the novelist Boccaccio wrote…    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
   

 
DUCKY: … That plague victims had lunch with their friends and dinner with their ancestors in paradise.    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
GIBBS: McGee, where’s the file?    
MCGEE: Boss, I cannot access it from--    
GIBBS: Ducky!  We’re coming up!    
     
  (SCENE CUT)    
     
DUCKY: We’ve already been through this, Gibbs!  You can’t!     
  (END INTERCUTS)   
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM     
     
  (SFX: TONY SNAPS HIS FINGERS)   
TONY: You know what this feels like?    
KATE: I’m afraid to ask.    
TONY: Like I’m the king of cool.    
KATE: Elvis?    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. OBSERVATION ROOM     
     
TONY: (FILTERED) Elvis was the king of rock and roll.  Travolta is the king of cool.    
  (EMMA GIGGLES)   
KATE: (V.O./FILTERED)  Well thanks for the clarification.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM     
     
TONY: And do you know why I feel like Travolta?    
KATE: I feel a movie coming on.    
TONY: The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.  Travolta plays this boy born with an immune deficiency.  This is before AIDS.  He lives in this giant plastic bubble.    
KATE: Tony.  Tony, please.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY     
     
KATE: (FILTERED)  We’re stuck here together.  Can we just make a pact?  Until we’re out…    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM     
     
KATE: I won’t make fun of all the stupid things you say and you won’t tell me any more film scenarios.  Deal?    
TONY: Deal.    
KATE: Thank you.    
TONY: Emma.    
EMMA: (FILTERED)  Yes?    
TONY: You may find this of interest.  You look pretty without the mask, by the way.      
     
  CUT TO:     
   

 
 INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY     
     
TONY: (V.O./FILTERED)  Ralph Bellamy plays the doctor.  Ralph Bellomy was this…    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM     
     
TONY: … Great old time actor.  He was in “His Girl Friday” with Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell.      
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. LAB – DAY     
     
DUCKY: I cannot believe that Gibbs broke protocol!    
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
ABBY: He didn’t.    
DUCKY: He left autopsy.    
ABBY: But not isolation.    
GIBBS: McGee,     
MCGEE: Yeah.    
GIBBS: You use Abby’s computer to access that case file!    
MCGEE: On it.    
GIBBS: Okay.  Abby, pull surveillance videos from the squad room.  Everything from twenty three hundred last night when I left until McGee came in this morning.    
ABBY: You’ve got to get a life, Gibbs.    
GIBBS: The last thing I need is another wife.    
ABBY: Life.  You’ve got to get a life.    
MCGEE: Boss!  Boss, I found the file.  It’s a rape case.  

 
GIBBS: Get the investigating agent down here.    
MCGEE: I can’t.  It was Pacci.    
  (INTERCUT FLASHBACK OF PACCI’S DEATH)   
GIBBS: Put it up on the plasma, McGee!    
MCGEE: Okay!    
GIBBS: Sarah Lowell.  Age twenty one.  Senior, Vassar.  Raped February tenth, oh-one at the Admiral’s Bay Hotel in Annapolis.    
DUCKY: Surely you remember the case, Jethro.  The maid found the poor girl naked, tied to the bed two days after she was raped.     
GIBBS: Duck, contact Cassie Yates in Norfolk.  Tell her what happened.  I need her help.    
DUCKY: Yeah, good idea.     
ABBY: Gibbs!  I thought Cassie was working narcotics suppression.    
GIBBS: Four years ago Cassie was Pacci’s probie.      
ABBY: Oh.    
GIBBS: The victim was visiting Annapolis to register for an advanced study program at Saint John’s.  Police had the case for three days before they called us in.    
ABBY: They found a Navy suspect?    
GIBBS: A dozen of them.  Firsties were partying at the hotel the night of the assault.    
ABBY: Firsties?    
GIBBS: Academy seniors.  They’d just got their fleet assignments and… are you scanning?    
ABBY: Gibbs, I can multitask!  I can listen to you.  I can scan the video.  I can rub my tummy and…    
GIBBS: DNA testing cleared them, closed our investigation.    
ABBY: But someone wants it reopened.  

 
GIBBS: McGee!  Call Annapolis P.D.  I want their file on this case.    
DUCKY: I spoke to Cassie.  She remembers the case.  She’ll be here in fifteen minutes.    
GIBBS: From Norfolk?    
DUCKY: No, Anacostia.  She’s working a drug sting.    
MCGEE: Boss.  Boss, I can’t call.  They’re not going to be able to hear me.  (BEAT)  I’m going to use the computer.    
ABBY: Gibbs!  Look who else doesn’t have a life.  Tony came back around midnight.    
GIBBS: He does his best work at night.    
ABBY: So he tells us.  Here’s Tony leaving.  That’s Ben the mailboy.  He didn’t do it.    
GIBBS: Why not?    
ABBY: He’s a Vegan.    
GIBBS: Hitler was a Vegan.    
ABBY: Hitler was a vegetarian.  Big difference.  Vegans are so against cruelty they won’t even use cosmetics tested on animals.    
DUCKY: Abigail, could Y. pestis be altered to withstand irradiation?    
ABBY: No way.  Altered or not, it’s still a living organism.    
GIBBS: Could the gilding in the envelope protect it?    
ABBY: It would have to be at least ten mils thick.  This is barely one.  Uh-oh.    
GIBBS: Abby, I do not want to hear any more uh-ohs.    
ABBY: Sorry.  But this swak didn’t bleed through.  There’s another one inside.    
GIBBS: Get that letter out here where you can examine it!    
ABBY: Gibbs, I’ve told you!  I have to wait for Atlanta to--    
GIBBS: Any doubt it’s pneumonic plague?  

 
ABBY: No, but…    
GIBBS: Then no “buts”!  Okay?  We’re losing time.  Kill those bugs!   Now!    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM  - NIGHT     
     
TONY: Think they really zap bugs?    
KATE: What?    
TONY: These blue lights.    
KATE: Are you serious?    
TONY: Ever heard of a placebo, Kate?    
KATE: Tony, placebos are administered for a psychological effect.    
TONY: Precisely.  How do you know these lamps aren’t there to make us think they’re helping?  Hmm?      
KATE: Maybe because they’re there to kill whatever bugs we breathe into the air.    
TONY: You may have a point.    
KATE: You’re afraid, aren’t you?    
TONY: Kate, come on.  Me?  Afraid?  Have you ever seen me afraid?    
KATE: Well, not when the danger is something that we can confront.  But all we can do here is lie around and hope that we’re not infected.    
TONY: Now who’s afraid?    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. OBSERVATION ROOM – NIGHT     
     
KATE: (FILTERED)  Anyone with half a brain.  I take that back.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM – NIGHT     
     
KATE: You’re not afraid.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. OBSERVATION ROOM – NIGHT      
     
DOCTOR PITT: All the blood cultures came back negative except for Special Agent DiNozzo’s. (V.O.)   He’s infected with Y. pestis.    
     
  (MUSIC OUT)   
     
 MUSIC IN:    
     
 INT. SQUAD ROOM – NIGHT     
     
  (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA PANS AROUND THE SQUAD ROOM)    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. LAB     
     
GIBBS: Damn it, Abby!  How much longer?    
ABBY: Gibbs!  Patience is not your virtue, is it?  Look at the plasma.    
GIBBS: Moldy bread.    
ABBY: It’s a Y. pestis microbe from the powder in the letter.  This is the Y. pestis as the human race has known it for a half a millennium.  The strain of plague we fight with antibiotics.      
GIBBS: The one in the letter has blue tips.    
ABBY: It’s been genetically altered to resist antibiotics.  You catch that, you’re stuck in the Dark Ages, which personally I wouldn’t mind until it killed me.    
GIBBS: This wasn’t whipped up in your local meth house.    
ABBY: No, this took a hot molecular biologist and a big-buck lab to make this bio-weapon.  Oh, my baby’s calling.  I ran a mass spec on the swak.    
GIBBS: You’re analyzing lipstick instead of the letter?    
ABBY: Well, I figured anyone who’s into calligraphy has got to wear esoteric lipstick.  And since all lipsticks are tested by the FDA…    
GIBBS: You’ll identify the brand.    
ABBY: Yeah.  If it’s as rare as I think it is, I can find out who sold it.    
GIBBS: Yeah, that’s good thinking, Abs.    
ABBY: What?    
GIBBS: (LOUDER)  Good thinking, Abby!    
ABBY: I don’t know, Gibbs!  I can’t hear you!  It must be the helmet head!  Not nice, Gibbs.  Not nice.  This is weird.  All the basics are there – wax, oil, eosin dye, titanium dioxide, but they’re in such low levels… (SFX: GIBBS SHOUTS)   
  (SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES)   
ABBY: Whoa!    
GIBBS: What is that?!    
ABBY: The reason the Y. pestis survived postal irradiation.  Seventy two percent of the lipstick is pure lead.  A lead swak on the outside of the envelope.  Lead swak in the inside.  In between Y. pestis on a moisture pad.  This is one smart bitch.    
CASSIE: Wash your mouth out with purple soap.  

 
ABBY: Cassie!  Wow, are you suppressing drugs or selling them?    
CASSIE: I’m working undercover.  Everything I’m wearing is confiscated even the La Perla underwear.     
ABBY: Nice.    
CASSIE: Gibbs!  Is that you playing Tella Tubby?  Is this the anthrax letter?    
     
ABBY: No, it’s not anthrax.  It’s plague.    
CASSIE: Thank god.  Anthrax scares the hell out of me.  May I?    
ABBY: Yeah.    
CASSIE: I know this return address.    
ABBY: Back-tracked it to the Admiral’s Bay Hotel, Annapolis, where the girl was raped.    
DUCKY: Gibbs!  Gibbs, all the blood tests came back negative except--    
GIBBS: Tony.    
 Get it off --! (GIBBS TEARS HIS SUIT OFF)   
GIBBS: Is he sick yet?    
DUCKY: Well, not outwardly.  But the doctor says his temperature is elevating.  They Y. pestis is attacking his pulmonary system.  Hi, Cassie.    
CASSIE: Hey Ducky.  How far are we into this thirty-two hour window?    
DUCKY: Too far.  Tony will begin coughing soon.  When his sputum becomes bloody, he’ll only have a few hours to live.    
GIBBS: Abby, get that damn letter out of there!    
ABBY: I’m getting it.    
CASSIE: This is too easy, Gibbs.  Custom paper and calligraphy that’s traceable.  A gene-altering bio-attack.  

 
GIBBS: Do you know who sent it?    
CASSIE: No, but I know who they want us to think sent it.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM – NIGHT    
     
TONY: Bedtime snack, Brad?    
DOCTOR PITT: Oh, IV drip increases the efficacy of streptomycin.    
TONY: They teach you efficacy at Harvard Medical?    
DOCTOR PITT: Michigan.    
TONY: Can’t be.  It’s too weird.    
DOCTOR PITT: What, are you a Wolverine, too?    
TONY: Buckeye!    
DOCTOR PITT: Wait, you’re that DiNozzo?    
TONY: Yeah.    
DOCTOR PITT: Ninety-two.  Columbus!    
TONY: We kissed our sisters.    
DOCTOR PITT: Thirteen-thirteen tie.  You broke your leg in the fourth quarter.    
TONY: You broke my leg in the fourth quarter.    
  (CAMERA ANGLE ON KATE)   
KATE: Oh, god.  They’re going to start bonging beers next.    
     
EMMA: I don’t think so.    
KATE: Oh, you don’t know Tony.  He epitomizes sophomoric.    
EMMA: His blood test came back positive.    
KATE: Positive?    
EMMA: You’re okay.  He’s the only one infected.    
DOCTOR PITT: (V.O.)  So you didn’t feel like an old man on spring break?  

 
TONY: Are you kidding?  Co-eds love a mature man who can bong a beer in under six seconds.    
  (LAUGHTER)   
DOCTOR PITT: Well that leaves me out.    
TONY: So tell me, Doc.  What have I got?    
DOCTOR PITT: Pneumonic plague.    
TONY: Plague? (LONG BEAT) Plague.    
KATE: Yeah, Tony.  Plague!  Because only you would go off and get a disease from the Dark Ages!    
TONY: I didn’t put plague in the letter.    
KATE: You opened it!      
TONY: Yeah, so I opened it.  What are you so upset about?  It’s not like you’re lying…    
KATE: Yeah, that’s right, Travolta.  I’m infected, too.    
TONY: Oh, Kate.  I’m sorry.    
KATE: Well, you’re going to be sorrier.    
TONY: No, don’t tell me Gibbs got it.    
KATE: Oh, no, no.  Just us.  But I am going to make your life hell!    
TONY: How, it can’t be worse than the plague.  (BEAT)  Maybe it can.  (TO DOCTOR PITT)  Maybe she can.    
KATE: I’m warning you, DiNozzo.    
TONY: You know, I recall a couple of plague flicks.    
KATE: I’m going to tell Emma all of your dating tricks.    
TONY: Mmm, Flesh and Blood comes to mind.  Paul Verhoeven directed.  Rutger Hauer starred.    
KATE: Tony thinks that speaking Italian turns women on.    
TONY: Obviously you never saw Jamie Lee Kurtis in A Fish Called Wanda.    
DOCTOR PITT: Kate…    
KATE: I know.  You want to start my IV.    
  (KATE SNEEZES)   
TONY: If I catch your cold I’m going to be very pissed. (TO DOCTOR PITT) She’ll be okay, right?    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. INNER LAB – NIGHT     
     
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
GIBBS: Hey, McGee.     
MCGEE: Yeah.    
GIBBS: Special Agent Yates needs your computer.    
MCGEE: Cassie!    
CASSIE: Hey, McGee.  Can I sit in?    
MCGEE: Yeah, sure.  Boss, Cassie and I had parking spaces next to each other at Norfolk.    
GIBBS: Why are you yelling at me, McGee?    
MCGEE: So you can hear me through your hel – helmet?    
GIBBS: The blood tests were negative.    
  (MCGEE TAKES HIS SUIT OFF)   
MCGEE: Ah, sweet.    
GIBBS: Not for DiNozzo.    
MCGEE: Positive?  Is he going to be okay?    
GIBBS: If he isn’t, he’ll be answering to me.    
  (SFX: RAPID COMPUTER BEEP TONES)   
CASSIE: Almost there.    
MCGEE: Ah, no.  Cassie, I already downloaded the NCIS report from the rape investigation.    
CASSIE: My notes are in my training file.  I was only a probie, but Pacci had me interview Sarah.    
GIBBS: Oh, yeah.  You’re a female, about the same age.  Easier to talk to you than it is to a male agent.    
CASSIE: It didn’t help.  She didn’t remember a thing.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. OFFICE – FLASHBACK     
     
CASSIE: (V.O.)  Traumatic amnesia.  Not unusual for rape cases. (BEGIN FLASHBACK SCENES)   
GIBBS: (V.O.)  If she had amnesia, who accused the Midshipman?     
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. LAB – DAY     
     
CASSIE: (V.O.)  Her mother.  Recognize her?    
DUCKY: (V.O.)  Vaguely familiar.    
CASSIE: (V.O.)  How about in this photo?     
DUCKY: (V.O.)  Good god yes.  That photo was on every front page in the world.  She was more famous than Hanoi Jane.    
GIBBS: Blow that up.  Get closer on the headband.    
CASSIE: My god, that’s a swak!    
GIBBS: She a microbiologist?    
CASSIE: No, but the best in the world work for her.  Hanna’s CEO of Lowell Pharmaceuticals.    
GIBBS: McGee, I want a search warrant!    
MCGEE: On it, Boss.    
GIBBS: I’ll grab a change of clothes and will meet you downstairs in five.  Go to Bethesda and keep me updated on Tony’s condition.    
DUCKY: Of course.    
GIBBS: Find out why Kate hasn’t checked in!    
MCGEE: You got it.    
JIMMY: I got the phones, but they wouldn’t trust me with the weapons.    
GIBBS: I wouldn’t either, Jimmy.    
  (GIBBS WALKS TO THE ELEVATOR)   
JIMMY: Uh, that’s Agent DiNozzo’s cell phone, Sir.  Gibbs?    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM – NIGHT     
     
DOCTOR PITT: Why are you doing this, Kate?    
KATE: Damned if I know.  But I’m doing it.  You’re not going to tell Tony.     
DOCTOR PITT: Well, I’ve already informed Doctor Mallard you’re not infected.    
KATE: Ducky will understand.  Gibbs will be the problem.    
DOCTOR PITT: No.  The problem is that Tony can infect you.    
KATE: What with all the UV lights and air scrubbers, or are they just here for patient morale?    
DOCTOR PITT: I cannot permit you to stay.  This strain has been genetically altered to resist antibiotics.  Do you realize what that means?    
KATE: That the IV in Tony’s arm is useless.  So why do it?    
DOCTOR PITT: Well, it can’t hurt.  And it gives him…    
KATE: Hope.    
TONY: Kate, tell Doctor Brad about that wet t-shirt contest you won.    
KATE: Tell Emma about the transsexual you tongued.    
TONY: That never happened.    
  (EMMA LAUGHS)   
TONY: That never happened.    
  (SFX: TONY COUGHS)    
TONY: Thanks for passing along the cold, Kate.    
     
  (FADE OUT)   
   

 
 MUSIC IN:    
     
 INT. BUILDING LOBBY – DAY     
     
CASSIE: How do you want to handle this?    
GIBBS: Subtle approach.  You serve the warrant.  I’ll shove my Sig in her face.    
CASSIE: Gibbs, Hanna Lowell has been arrested at more protests than Jesse Jackson.  She won’t be intimidated.    
GIBBS: Okay, then I’ll shoot her and I’ll go after whoever made the damn bug for her.    
CASSIE: You’re not going to kill her.      
GIBBS: I said shoot, not kill.    
CASSIE: There are dozens of microbiologists here.  It would take days to interrogate them.  Tony doesn’t have days.    
GIBBS: Do you know where her office is or should I ask the receptionist?     
CASSIE: Boss always has the top floor office.    
GUARD: Excuse me.  Excuse me.  You have to check-in with the receptionist.  Do you have an appointment?    
GIBBS: No.  We have a federal warrant.    
GUARD: Security alert.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. OUTER OFFICE – DAY     
     
HANNAH: (V.O.)  It’s about time you got here.    
     
  CUT TO:     
   

 
 INT. OFFICE – DAY     
     
HANNAH: I left enough cookie crumbs.    
GIBBS: You left more than cookie crumbs, lady.    
HANNAH: I regret I resorted to such a dramatic act, but you people at NCIS left me no choice when you lied to protect the Academy.  Now, you admit that a Midshipman raped my daughter and this will all be over.    
CASSIE: The DNA testing cleared…    
HANNAH: Oh, stop it.  I know how easy it is to dope a DNA test.    
GIBBS: You love dramatic acts.    
CASSIE: They can be very effective.    
GIBBS: The effect of this one is going to imprison you for life.    
CASSIE: That long, hmm?    
GIBBS: You’re dying.    
CASSIE: Rather rapidly.  Which makes incarceration highly unlikely.    
GIBBS: From the looks of it you want to protect just about every living thing on the planet except for Federal agents.    
CASSIE: My daughter never recovered from the horror of that weekend.  The truth will help her heal.  Please!  Please, give it to her.  You won’t get that antidote until that Midshipman comes--    
GIBBS: We don’t need it.  The post office went postal on your plaque.  Zapped it right through the lead swak.  No one was infected.    
HANNAH: Oh, I don’t believe you.    
GIBBS: I don’t give a damn whether you believe me or not.  You are under arrest for a biological attack on a Federal agency.  Take her to interrogation.  I’ll wait here for the task force to arrest the others.    
CASSIE: You have the right to remain silent.  If you give up that right…    
HANNAH: There are no others.  I acted alone.    
GIBBS: You are not a microbiologist.    
HANNAH: (SHOUTS)  I stole the Y. pestis!  Doctor Pandy doesn’t even know it’s missing.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. OUTER OFFICE – DAY     
     
GIBBS: Doctor Pandy!    
RECEPTIONIST: What?    
GIBBS: Where’s Doctor Pandy’s lab.    
RECEPTIONIST: North wing, ground floor, B-L-Alpha.  But you need authorization to enter the North wing!    
HANNAH: Someone was infected.  I hope it was Westmoreland.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM – DAY     
     
  (SFX: TONY CONTINUES COUGHING)    
DOCTOR PITT: Lay back, Tony. All right, everybody behind the shield.  Tony, I’m going to need you to take a deep breath and hold it.    
TONY: I don’t think I can, Brad.  Maybe Emma can do it for me.    You have very healthy lungs, Emma.    
EMMA: Is he always like this?    
TONY: Unfortunately.  Tony’s humor has always been sexist, juvenile, raunchy.    
EMMA: Funny?    
KATE: Oh, sometimes he can be funny.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. BL-ALPHA ROOM – DAY     
     
PANDY: There is no antidote.  I developed a vaccine, not an antidote.  It’s of no use once the victim is infected.  Hannah misunderstood.    
GIBBS: She understood.    
PANDY: No, it’s the brain tumor.    
GIBBS: That’s what’s killing her?    
PANDY: It’s inoperable, obviously affecting her mind.  Why else would a woman who fought to ban biological weapons use them?    
GIBBS: I don’t know.  Why is Lowell Pharmaceutical making them?    
PANDY: We’re not.    
GIBBS: You didn’t create this beast?    
PANDY: Yes!  But only to develop a defense against it.  Antibiotic resistant diseases are potential terrorist weapons.    
GIBBS: A terrorist isn’t killing my agent, you are!    
PANDY: I understand your anger.    
GIBBS: No, you don’t!  But if you don’t save him, you will.    
PANDY: It has a suicide gene that stops it from replicating after thirty two hours….as a security precaution.    
GIBBS: It dies?    
PANDY: Yes.    
GIBBS: It’s dead now?    
PANDY: If it’s over thirty two hours since the specimen has been infected, all of the Y. pestis is dead.  However, the damage will have been done.      
GIBBS: The specimen is going to die?!  

 
PANDY: No.  No, not necessarily.  He has the same chance of survival as those infected in plagues of the past, probably better since he will be healthy and young.    
GIBBS: What was the survival rate of the past?    
PANDY: People were weakened by depleted crops, bad nutrition. .   
GIBBS: Damn it!  What was the survival rate?!    
PANDY: Fifteen percent.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM  - DAY     
     
DUCKY: It looks like pneumonia. (SFX: TONY COUGHS B.G.)    
DOCTOR PITT: Worse, I’m afraid.  He’s showing signs of cyanosis.  His fingernails and lips are going blue.    
DUCKY: The Y. pestis is starving his body of oxygen.  It’s too late to reverse, isn’t it?    
DOCTOR PITT: It’s never too late.    
DUCKY: Until I get the body.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM – DAY     
     
TONY: I’m sorry I teased you with all those movies, Kate.    
KATE: Teased?  You’ve tortured me.  For two years all I’ve heard is John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, James Bond.    
TONY: James Bond… is a character… played by Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan.  Why are you wearing a mask? (SFX: TONY COUGHS)    
KATE: Because I have a cold.    
TONY: (WEAKLY)  Why aren’t you sick?    
KATE: Because I’m stronger than you, Tony.    
TONY: (WEAKLY)  Are not.    
KATE: Am too.    
  (TONY CHOKES/ GAGS)   
KATE: Tony!  Tony!  Sit up!    
DOCTOR PITT: Kate, you should leave.  Now!    
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY     
     
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
DUCKY: You were brave to stay with him, Kate. (KATE CRIES)   
KATE: (CRYING)  He’s dying, Ducky.    
GIBBS: Ah, the hell he is!    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. ISOLATION ROOM – DAY     
     
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
DOCTOR PITT: Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Who the hell are you?    
GIBBS: His boss.  The bug has a suicide gene.  It’s dead.  It’s been dead for over an hour.  He’s no longer infectious.  (WHISPERS TO TONY)  Tony, listen to me.  Are you listening?    
TONY: (GASPS WEAKLY)  I’m listening.  I’m listening, Boss.    
GIBBS: (WHISPERS)  You will not die, you got that?  (BEAT)  I said, you will not die. 
   
  (GIBBS HITS TONY)   
TONY: (WHISPERS)  Okay, I got you, Boss.    
GIBBS: (WHISPERS)  Good.  It’s your new cell.  I’d get the number changed.  Women keep calling for Spankie.    
TONY: (WHISPERS) Spankie.    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. WAITING ROOM – DAY     
     
CASSIE: (V.O.)  Will you excuse me?  (TO GIBBS)  How’s Tony?    
GIBBS: Ah, he’ll make it.  What happened?    
CASSIE: Oh, Hanna lost it in the car.  Started rambling, flashing peace signs.  When she bared her breasts and shouted “Make love not war!” I drove straight here.    
GIBBS: Sure it wasn’t an act?    
CASSIE: Her neurologist says it’s the tumor.  He just left.   He wants her released into his care.    
GIBBS: Not likely.  He can see her here as much as he wants.  Is that Sarah?    
CASSIE: Just as blank as four years ago.  (TO SARAH)  Sarah, this is Special Agent Gibbs.    
SARAH: I am so sorry.  I can’t believe this.  I knew someday Mother would do something terrible.  I told her, but she wouldn’t believe me.    
GIBBS: Told her?    
SARAH: That it wasn’t a Midshipman.    
GIBBS: So you remember who assaulted you?    
SARAH: No!    
GIBBS: How do you know it wasn’t a Midshipman?    
SARAH: I… heard they were all cleared.    
GIBBS: Are you sure you don’t remember?    
SARAH: (LONG BEAT)  Yes.    

 
CASSIE: You know who raped you, don’t you, Sarah?  (LONG BEAT) Sarah?    
  (SARAH CRIES)   
SARAH: (CRYING)  I wasn’t raped.  Will thought it was funny… tying me to the bed.    
     
  DISSOLVE TO:   
     
 INT. HOTEL ROOM – FLASHBACK    
     
SARAH: I’d said that the Midshipman looked cute in their uniform.  And so when he went out to get us some burgers and shakes, he tied me up so that way I wouldn’t run off with one of them.  It was a joke!   (DIALOGUE OVER MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES)   
  (FILTERED VOICES B.G.)   
SARAH: And then when he didn’t come back… I started going crazy – first worrying about why and then… and then being found.    
CASSIE: What happened to him?    
SARAH: He was killed by a hit-and-run driver crossing the road.    
CASSIE: Why did you say you were raped?    
SARAH: I was tied naked to a bed.  What else could I tell my mother?    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT    
     
KATE: Can I sleep here?    
DOCTOR PITT: As long as you don’t give Tony that cold.    
  (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)    
     
  CUT TO:     
     
 INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT     
     
EMMA: He’s asleep.    
KATE: Thank you.    
  (SFX: LIGHTS CLICKS OFF)   
TONY: This reminds me of the end of Alien.    
  (KATE CHUCKLES)   
     
  (ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)   
     
  (FADE OUT)   
     
  (ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT) 
* * * * * * * *

Prepared by C.C.   Printed in USA
Calvert Continuities   Aired 5/10/05