FADE IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
TONY: Wow. What’d you do? Spend the night sake-bombing?
KATE: It’s a cold, Tony. Sake-bombing?
TONY: Oh, come on, Kate. Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of sake-bombing?
KATE: Would I ask if – forget it. I don’t want to know.
TONY: You take a cup of hot sake. You drop it in a beer. You toss it back and – and KA-BOOM!
KATE: Sake-bombing.
TONY: Great for a cold.
KATE: I’ll stick to honey and hot tea, thanks.
TONY: McGee, Kate’s never been sake-bombing.
MCGEE: You know, I don’t think I have either.
TONY: I work with a pair of wankers.
GIBBS: And you make three, DiNozzo.
TONY: Good morning, Boss!
KATE: Good morning.
GIBBS: Cold or flu?
KATE: Just plain cold. Don’t worry. I will sneeze into my tissues, unlike some people.
TONY: I have allergies, Kate.
GIBBS: Never had allergies. Never had a cold.
KATE: You never had a cold?
GIBBS: Nope. Never had the flu either.
KATE: Why do I believe that?
TONY: If you were a bug, would you attack Gibbs?
MCGEE: I get colds all the time.
TONY: Of course you do, Probie.
MCGEE: This one is just addressed to “NCIS Special Agent.”
TONY: I think that’s mine, McGee. Huh?
MCGEE: How do you know?
TONY: I recognize the lips. And the scent.
KATE: Gummy Bears? (TONY OPENS THE ENVELOPE AND BLOWS)
(FADE OUT)
(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES / CREDITS AND OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
“SWAK”
(SFX: GIBBS WHISTLES)
GIBBS: We’ve opened a letter with white powder. Use the southeast corridor to the holding room. You all know the drill.
KATE: Tony! (INTO PHONE) Letter opened in Special Agent Gibbs’s office dispersed a fine white powder. Initiating bio-attack procedures. Third floor is evacuating.
GIBBS: McGee, are you up on procedures?
MCGEE: Yeah, we shower, burn our clothes, get our blood tested. Nobody leaves the building until the substance is identified except…
TONY: Lucky me! I win a free trip to Bethesda to be pricked like a pin cushion.
KATE: They’ve shut down the air. Let’s hit the showers, Tony!
TONY: Thought you’d never ask. Sorry, Boss.
CUT TO:
INT. SHOWERS – DAY SOUND OF WATER OVER DIALOGUE
TONY: Who would send me a letter with anthrax?
KATE: Pick a girl, Tony. Any girl.
TONY: It’s not funny, Kate.
KATE: Yeah, I know.
TONY: This is serious.
KATE: I know, Tony. I’m sorry.
TONY: This very instant somebody is incinerating my Ermenegildo Zegna suit, my Armani tie, my Dolce Gabbana shirt, and my Gucci shoes!
MCGEE: You know, it might not be anthrax.
TONY: I like the sound of that, Probie.
MCGEE: It could be small pox, bubonic plague, cholera…
TONY: Probie!
MCGEE: Foot powder, face powder, talcum powder.
TONY: Honey Dust!
MCGEE: Honey Dust?
TONY: Honey Dust. I give it to girls – women, sorry, Kate. I give it to women at Christmastime. Very sensuous. You apply it with a feather.
KATE: You don’t use the whole chicken?
MCGEE: I never heard of Honey Dust.
KATE: Yeah, that’s because your mother raised you to respect women, McGee.
GIBBS: It makes a women’s skin feel silky smooth. When kissed, it tastes like honey. (V.O.) Got a box of Honey Dust last Christmas. No card.
TONY: Ah, I think the post office screwed up, Boss. Someone else got your bottle of Jack and you got the--
KATE: Hey! Doesn’t the post office irradiate our mail?
MCGEE: Yeah, that’s right. All Federal mail is funneled through the Ion Beam facility in Bridgeport, New Jersey. If it has DNA, it dies.
TONY: The diseases that you named, they have DNA?
MCGEE: They do.
KATE: Ah, you should have let him squirm.
TONY: Ha ha! Then it’s no worries.
GIBBS: Unless the post office screwed up again. (SHOWER OUT)
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/MEN IN SUITS/ CLEAN AND VACUUM)
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
GIBBS: You should have given the letter to me, McGee.
MCGEE: I know, Boss.
KATE: It’s not McGee’s fault. Tony snatched it out of his hand.
TONY: So now it’s my bad?
MCGEE: You did grab it, Tony.
TONY: Lame excuse, Probie. You should have stopped me.
DUCKY: Where do you think you’re going?
GIBBS: To find out who sent the letter.
DUCKY: Ah ah ah ah ah. You cannot leave autopsy. It’s negative pressure so airborne pathogens can’t contaminate the rest of the building.
GIBBS: Ducky, I have been scrubbed, sanitized, for all I know, sterilized! I have an investigation to open!
DUCKY: I have a possible contagion to contain. Until your blood test clears you, I cannot permit you to leave this room.
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
PARAMEDIC: Who opened the envelope?
TONY: He did.
MCGEE: No no no! It wasn’t me!
TONY: Just kidding. I’m your pin cushion.
PARAMEDIC: Did you inhale any powder?
TONY: I might have.
DUCKY: We took blood. Jimmy?
JIMMY: Yeah. Four blood vials on ice to go.
(KATE SNEEZES)
KATE: It’s a cold. I had it before I came in this morning.
DUCKY: Which makes you even more susceptible to airborne pathogens. You should go in the hospital, too.
KATE: Oh, no!
GIBBS: Kate, play it safe. Go with Tony.
KATE: That’s safe? How long are we going to have to stay in isolation?
PARAMEDIC: At least overnight.
TONY: Can we have double beds because I hate it when you get that crease when you push the two--
(GIBBS WHACKS TONY)
TONY: If I get anthrax, how will you feel?
GIBBS: Not as bad as you, DiNozzo.
PARAMEDIC: Let’s go.
KATE: I’m warning you, DiNozzo.
TONY: Yeah?
KATE: I do not feel well.
TONY: You need to relax. You need a foot massage.
KATE: I don’t want you anywhere near my feet. I don’t want you touching my feet.
TONY: You don’t feel well and--
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED)
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
(MUSIC PLAYS B.G.)
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/ ABBY SAMPLES THE ENVELOPE AND PERFORMS TESTS)
ABBY: So how long to Atlanta?
LIEUTENANT: Less than an hour. Your music’s sweet.
ABBY: So are you. Hoo! Talk to Mama.
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) I didn’t take you for the cheerleader type, Abby.
ABBY: Oh, I’m not. Grammy taught me that. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) She was an Olympic swimmer. Won the Silver in the two hundred meter butterfly.
(SCENE CUT)
JIMMY: What does swimming have to do…
(SCENE CUT)
JIMMY: (ON MONITOR) …with cartwheeling?
ABBY: Nothing.
(SCENE CUT)
JIMMY: I don’t understand.
MCGEE: You can’t think logically with Abby. Her mind operates like a pachinko machine.
GIBBS: What was the powder, Abby?
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: White.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) With a hint of tan.
GIBBS: Abs!
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Well, it’s all I know until my baby speaks to me. I’m auto-sampling for anthrax, botulism…
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: …. Plague, cholera, all those nasty little bio-buggers.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: How long?
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) A couple hours.
GIBBS: I thought you said these tests were fast.
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) It’s not a pregnancy test, Gibbs.
(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION HALLWAY – DAY
TONY: You should drink more water.
KATE: Tony.
TONY: Your urine’s too dark.
KATE: I have a cold. I can’t believe you’re commenting on my – eeugh!
DOCTOR PITT: Neither can I. Doctor Brad Pitt. Yes, it’s my real name and no we’re not related. I wish we were. I’d love to meet Angelina Jolie.
(KATE LAUGHS)
TONY: If I said what he said you would… elbow me.
(TONY/ KATE AND PITT WALK TO THE ISOLATION CUBE)
DOCTOR PITT: Well, it’s not The Four Seasons, but let’s hope you’re not here long.
(SFX: WHOOSH)
KATE: Negative pressure?
DOCTOR PITT: Mm-hmm. Air can flow in, but not out. I’d like you to meet Lieutenant Emma Ingham, your duty nurse for tonight.
EMMA: Hi, guys. How are you?
DOCTOR PITT: As a precaution, I’m starting your prophylaxis with streptomycin.
KATE: Prophylaxis is a measure taken for the prevention of disease, Tony.
TONY: That’s why I use them.
(SFX: EMMA LAUGHS)
KATE: Oh, you don’t want to encourage him, Lieutenant.
EMMA: Sorry. Um… take any beds you want, you guys.
TONY: Thank you, Nurse Emma.
DOCTOR PITT: But it’s prudent to keep some separation in case one of you has been infected.
KATE: Thank you, Doctor!
DOCTOR PITT: Brad. We’re informal here.
KATE: Kate.
TONY: Are these things sunlamps, Brad?
DOCTOR PITT: U.V. Kills the bacteria in the air, although I can arrange for a sunlamp if you wish.
TONY: Oh, not for me. It’s for Kate.
KATE: What?
TONY: Yeah, a little nude sunbathing might get rid of those tan lines.
KATE: Doctor, could you put him to sleep, please?
TONY: ‘Bye Nurse Emma.
EMMA: Bye.
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
GIBBS: (V.O.) Swak?
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
ABBY: It’s sealed with a kiss, Gibbs. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Didn’t you ever get a love letter?
GIBBS: Does a Dear John count?
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: Ah. I feel sorry for you, Gibbs.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: Is there a return address?
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: Twenty seven Old Mill Bottom Road…
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Annapolis, Maryland.
GIBBS: McGee, you got that?
MCGEE: Got it. I just wish I had my PDA.
GIBBS: Use Ducky’s.
JIMMY: Uh… uh… Agent Gibbs, Sir, Doctor Mallard doesn’t have…
GIBBS: Requisition replacement cell phones and weapons for my team. Go!
JIMMY: Pistols?
GIBBS: Well no, Palmer. Crossbows if you think they might work better. (TO ABBY) Cancelled stamp?
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Noon yesterday, Annapolis.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) Open it!
ABBY: Normally I’d request a please, but…
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) …Considering the situation.
MCGEE: Boss, I can’t find Ducky’s PDA.
GIBBS: McGee, it’s a pad and a pencil! (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
CUT TO:
INT. INNER LAB – DAY
DUCKY: Oh, beautiful calligraphy.
ABBY: Beautiful paper. It must be thirty two pound cotton rag.
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) Abby, does that mean you can trace it?
ABBY: The water mark will tell me where it was made…
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) … When it was made, and who sold it. The person that sent this… may as well have signed it.
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: You know, there was a time when every young woman of breeding was taught calligraphy.
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) My mother still tries, but her hand shakes so that…
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: …Even I can’t read all her missives.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: Can you read this missive, Ducky?
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: Oh, yes. It’s perfectly legible.
ABBY: Um… I think he means read it out loud.
DUCKY: Oh, sorry. Of course. Uh…(READS) “If you are reading this and have not initiated biological attack procedures, I suggest you do so immediately.”
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) “Since the powder dispersed by opening this envelope contains genetically altered…”
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: “…Y. pestis.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: Which is Latin for what?
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: Plague!
(MUSIC UP AND OUT)
FADE IN:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
GIBBS: The powder in that envelope carries bubonic plague?
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: Pneumonic is more likely.
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) There’s more than one?
DUCKY: Oh, there are three, actually. But pneumonic is by far the most dangerous since it can be spread simply by breathing the Y. pestis particles.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: Tony must have breathed in some of them.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: It may not be alive. Y. pestis needs a host or moisture for it to survive more than a few hours.
(SCENE CUT)
MCGEE: Plus it was irradiated when it went through the mail, Boss.
GIBBS: I got a Honey Dust for Christmas, McGee.
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) I’ll narrow my test to pneumonic Y. pestis.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: If I can isolate the strain, then Bethesda can hit it with a specific antibiotic.
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: Yeah, well that may not help. It says here, “I have genetically altered the Y. pestis to render it impervious to antimicrobials.
ABBY: That bitch! She created a strain that…
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR)… Antibiotics can’t whack.
GIBBS: Ducky, give Bethesda a heads up.
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) Right.
GIBBS: A swak does not mean that this bitch couldn’t be a bastard!
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: You’re so right, Gibbs. I have this friend who’s a transvestite. Her lips could outswak Angelina Jolie’s. Remember, McGee? You met her at my birthday party.
(SCENE CUT)
MCGEE: Yeah, the low-cut red dress with a built-in plastic--
(GIBBS WHACKS MCGEE)
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: I saw that, Gibbs.
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) Read, or you’ll feel it.
ABBY: Not while you’re down there.
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) What?!
ABBY: However, there is an antidote. She made a magic bullet.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) “Which if administered within thirty two hours of infection, will eradicate the disease.”
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: “To procure the antidote, NCIS must make public the true results reported in…
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (READS ON MONITOR) … “Dossier R-Zero Three Seven Seven.
GIBBS: McGee, pull up the file.
MCGEE: Yep, Romeo Zero Three Seven Seven. On it, Boss.
GIBBS: Is that it?
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: That’s all she wrote.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) It’s guilded inside.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: I can see the swak through – uh-oh. We have a moisture strip in here.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: Yeah, keeping the bug alive until the letter is opened.
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) I’m afraid so, Gibbs.
GIBBS: Check the cancelled stamp, Abs!
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) One way to get around postal irradiation – to not use the post office.
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
DUCKY: I spoke with a Doctor Brad Pitt.
ABBY: You’re kidding.
DUCKY: No, that’s his name. He made a point to stress that he is not related in any way to the actor.
ABBY: Hey, did you hear when Brad and Jen split up?
GIBBS: (ON MONITOR) Abby!
ABBY: Gibbs, I can’t until I can put this under a microscope. And I can’t do that until NCID gives me approval to irradiate.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: Okay, which will be when?
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) The Navy is sending a sample to Atlanta.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: It should be there… well, now.
(SCENE CUT)
ABBY: (ON MONITOR) And then it’ll be twelve hours for DNA confirmation.
GIBBS: Ducky, what’s the incubation period?
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) A day at most.
GIBBS: How long until it kills?
DUCKY: (ON MONITOR) Well, not very long, I’m afraid. In the fourteenth century, the novelist Boccaccio wrote…
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: … That plague victims had lunch with their friends and dinner with their ancestors in paradise.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: McGee, where’s the file?
MCGEE: Boss, I cannot access it from--
GIBBS: Ducky! We’re coming up!
(SCENE CUT)
DUCKY: We’ve already been through this, Gibbs! You can’t!
(END INTERCUTS)
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM
(SFX: TONY SNAPS HIS FINGERS)
TONY: You know what this feels like?
KATE: I’m afraid to ask.
TONY: Like I’m the king of cool.
KATE: Elvis?
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM
TONY: (FILTERED) Elvis was the king of rock and roll. Travolta is the king of cool.
(EMMA GIGGLES)
KATE: (V.O./FILTERED) Well thanks for the clarification.
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM
TONY: And do you know why I feel like Travolta?
KATE: I feel a movie coming on.
TONY: The Boy in the Plastic Bubble. Travolta plays this boy born with an immune deficiency. This is before AIDS. He lives in this giant plastic bubble.
KATE: Tony. Tony, please.
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
KATE: (FILTERED) We’re stuck here together. Can we just make a pact? Until we’re out…
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM
KATE: I won’t make fun of all the stupid things you say and you won’t tell me any more film scenarios. Deal?
TONY: Deal.
KATE: Thank you.
TONY: Emma.
EMMA: (FILTERED) Yes?
TONY: You may find this of interest. You look pretty without the mask, by the way.
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Ralph Bellamy plays the doctor. Ralph Bellomy was this…
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM
TONY: … Great old time actor. He was in “His Girl Friday” with Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
DUCKY: I cannot believe that Gibbs broke protocol!
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
ABBY: He didn’t.
DUCKY: He left autopsy.
ABBY: But not isolation.
GIBBS: McGee,
MCGEE: Yeah.
GIBBS: You use Abby’s computer to access that case file!
MCGEE: On it.
GIBBS: Okay. Abby, pull surveillance videos from the squad room. Everything from twenty three hundred last night when I left until McGee came in this morning.
ABBY: You’ve got to get a life, Gibbs.
GIBBS: The last thing I need is another wife.
ABBY: Life. You’ve got to get a life.
MCGEE: Boss! Boss, I found the file. It’s a rape case.
GIBBS: Get the investigating agent down here.
MCGEE: I can’t. It was Pacci.
(INTERCUT FLASHBACK OF PACCI’S DEATH)
GIBBS: Put it up on the plasma, McGee!
MCGEE: Okay!
GIBBS: Sarah Lowell. Age twenty one. Senior, Vassar. Raped February tenth, oh-one at the Admiral’s Bay Hotel in Annapolis.
DUCKY: Surely you remember the case, Jethro. The maid found the poor girl naked, tied to the bed two days after she was raped.
GIBBS: Duck, contact Cassie Yates in Norfolk. Tell her what happened. I need her help.
DUCKY: Yeah, good idea.
ABBY: Gibbs! I thought Cassie was working narcotics suppression.
GIBBS: Four years ago Cassie was Pacci’s probie.
ABBY: Oh.
GIBBS: The victim was visiting Annapolis to register for an advanced study program at Saint John’s. Police had the case for three days before they called us in.
ABBY: They found a Navy suspect?
GIBBS: A dozen of them. Firsties were partying at the hotel the night of the assault.
ABBY: Firsties?
GIBBS: Academy seniors. They’d just got their fleet assignments and… are you scanning?
ABBY: Gibbs, I can multitask! I can listen to you. I can scan the video. I can rub my tummy and…
GIBBS: DNA testing cleared them, closed our investigation.
ABBY: But someone wants it reopened.
GIBBS: McGee! Call Annapolis P.D. I want their file on this case.
DUCKY: I spoke to Cassie. She remembers the case. She’ll be here in fifteen minutes.
GIBBS: From Norfolk?
DUCKY: No, Anacostia. She’s working a drug sting.
MCGEE: Boss. Boss, I can’t call. They’re not going to be able to hear me. (BEAT) I’m going to use the computer.
ABBY: Gibbs! Look who else doesn’t have a life. Tony came back around midnight.
GIBBS: He does his best work at night.
ABBY: So he tells us. Here’s Tony leaving. That’s Ben the mailboy. He didn’t do it.
GIBBS: Why not?
ABBY: He’s a Vegan.
GIBBS: Hitler was a Vegan.
ABBY: Hitler was a vegetarian. Big difference. Vegans are so against cruelty they won’t even use cosmetics tested on animals.
DUCKY: Abigail, could Y. pestis be altered to withstand irradiation?
ABBY: No way. Altered or not, it’s still a living organism.
GIBBS: Could the gilding in the envelope protect it?
ABBY: It would have to be at least ten mils thick. This is barely one. Uh-oh.
GIBBS: Abby, I do not want to hear any more uh-ohs.
ABBY: Sorry. But this swak didn’t bleed through. There’s another one inside.
GIBBS: Get that letter out here where you can examine it!
ABBY: Gibbs, I’ve told you! I have to wait for Atlanta to--
GIBBS: Any doubt it’s pneumonic plague?
ABBY: No, but…
GIBBS: Then no “buts”! Okay? We’re losing time. Kill those bugs! Now!
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM - NIGHT
TONY: Think they really zap bugs?
KATE: What?
TONY: These blue lights.
KATE: Are you serious?
TONY: Ever heard of a placebo, Kate?
KATE: Tony, placebos are administered for a psychological effect.
TONY: Precisely. How do you know these lamps aren’t there to make us think they’re helping? Hmm?
KATE: Maybe because they’re there to kill whatever bugs we breathe into the air.
TONY: You may have a point.
KATE: You’re afraid, aren’t you?
TONY: Kate, come on. Me? Afraid? Have you ever seen me afraid?
KATE: Well, not when the danger is something that we can confront. But all we can do here is lie around and hope that we’re not infected.
TONY: Now who’s afraid?
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM – NIGHT
KATE: (FILTERED) Anyone with half a brain. I take that back.
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM – NIGHT
KATE: You’re not afraid.
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM – NIGHT
DOCTOR PITT: All the blood cultures came back negative except for Special Agent DiNozzo’s. (V.O.) He’s infected with Y. pestis.
(MUSIC OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – NIGHT
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA PANS AROUND THE SQUAD ROOM)
CUT TO:
INT. LAB
GIBBS: Damn it, Abby! How much longer?
ABBY: Gibbs! Patience is not your virtue, is it? Look at the plasma.
GIBBS: Moldy bread.
ABBY: It’s a Y. pestis microbe from the powder in the letter. This is the Y. pestis as the human race has known it for a half a millennium. The strain of plague we fight with antibiotics.
GIBBS: The one in the letter has blue tips.
ABBY: It’s been genetically altered to resist antibiotics. You catch that, you’re stuck in the Dark Ages, which personally I wouldn’t mind until it killed me.
GIBBS: This wasn’t whipped up in your local meth house.
ABBY: No, this took a hot molecular biologist and a big-buck lab to make this bio-weapon. Oh, my baby’s calling. I ran a mass spec on the swak.
GIBBS: You’re analyzing lipstick instead of the letter?
ABBY: Well, I figured anyone who’s into calligraphy has got to wear esoteric lipstick. And since all lipsticks are tested by the FDA…
GIBBS: You’ll identify the brand.
ABBY: Yeah. If it’s as rare as I think it is, I can find out who sold it.
GIBBS: Yeah, that’s good thinking, Abs.
ABBY: What?
GIBBS: (LOUDER) Good thinking, Abby!
ABBY: I don’t know, Gibbs! I can’t hear you! It must be the helmet head! Not nice, Gibbs. Not nice. This is weird. All the basics are there – wax, oil, eosin dye, titanium dioxide, but they’re in such low levels… (SFX: GIBBS SHOUTS)
(SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES)
ABBY: Whoa!
GIBBS: What is that?!
ABBY: The reason the Y. pestis survived postal irradiation. Seventy two percent of the lipstick is pure lead. A lead swak on the outside of the envelope. Lead swak in the inside. In between Y. pestis on a moisture pad. This is one smart bitch.
CASSIE: Wash your mouth out with purple soap.
ABBY: Cassie! Wow, are you suppressing drugs or selling them?
CASSIE: I’m working undercover. Everything I’m wearing is confiscated even the La Perla underwear.
ABBY: Nice.
CASSIE: Gibbs! Is that you playing Tella Tubby? Is this the anthrax letter?
ABBY: No, it’s not anthrax. It’s plague.
CASSIE: Thank god. Anthrax scares the hell out of me. May I?
ABBY: Yeah.
CASSIE: I know this return address.
ABBY: Back-tracked it to the Admiral’s Bay Hotel, Annapolis, where the girl was raped.
DUCKY: Gibbs! Gibbs, all the blood tests came back negative except--
GIBBS: Tony.
Get it off --! (GIBBS TEARS HIS SUIT OFF)
GIBBS: Is he sick yet?
DUCKY: Well, not outwardly. But the doctor says his temperature is elevating. They Y. pestis is attacking his pulmonary system. Hi, Cassie.
CASSIE: Hey Ducky. How far are we into this thirty-two hour window?
DUCKY: Too far. Tony will begin coughing soon. When his sputum becomes bloody, he’ll only have a few hours to live.
GIBBS: Abby, get that damn letter out of there!
ABBY: I’m getting it.
CASSIE: This is too easy, Gibbs. Custom paper and calligraphy that’s traceable. A gene-altering bio-attack.
GIBBS: Do you know who sent it?
CASSIE: No, but I know who they want us to think sent it.
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM – NIGHT
TONY: Bedtime snack, Brad?
DOCTOR PITT: Oh, IV drip increases the efficacy of streptomycin.
TONY: They teach you efficacy at Harvard Medical?
DOCTOR PITT: Michigan.
TONY: Can’t be. It’s too weird.
DOCTOR PITT: What, are you a Wolverine, too?
TONY: Buckeye!
DOCTOR PITT: Wait, you’re that DiNozzo?
TONY: Yeah.
DOCTOR PITT: Ninety-two. Columbus!
TONY: We kissed our sisters.
DOCTOR PITT: Thirteen-thirteen tie. You broke your leg in the fourth quarter.
TONY: You broke my leg in the fourth quarter.
(CAMERA ANGLE ON KATE)
KATE: Oh, god. They’re going to start bonging beers next.
EMMA: I don’t think so.
KATE: Oh, you don’t know Tony. He epitomizes sophomoric.
EMMA: His blood test came back positive.
KATE: Positive?
EMMA: You’re okay. He’s the only one infected.
DOCTOR PITT: (V.O.) So you didn’t feel like an old man on spring break?
TONY: Are you kidding? Co-eds love a mature man who can bong a beer in under six seconds.
(LAUGHTER)
DOCTOR PITT: Well that leaves me out.
TONY: So tell me, Doc. What have I got?
DOCTOR PITT: Pneumonic plague.
TONY: Plague? (LONG BEAT) Plague.
KATE: Yeah, Tony. Plague! Because only you would go off and get a disease from the Dark Ages!
TONY: I didn’t put plague in the letter.
KATE: You opened it!
TONY: Yeah, so I opened it. What are you so upset about? It’s not like you’re lying…
KATE: Yeah, that’s right, Travolta. I’m infected, too.
TONY: Oh, Kate. I’m sorry.
KATE: Well, you’re going to be sorrier.
TONY: No, don’t tell me Gibbs got it.
KATE: Oh, no, no. Just us. But I am going to make your life hell!
TONY: How, it can’t be worse than the plague. (BEAT) Maybe it can. (TO DOCTOR PITT) Maybe she can.
KATE: I’m warning you, DiNozzo.
TONY: You know, I recall a couple of plague flicks.
KATE: I’m going to tell Emma all of your dating tricks.
TONY: Mmm, Flesh and Blood comes to mind. Paul Verhoeven directed. Rutger Hauer starred.
KATE: Tony thinks that speaking Italian turns women on.
TONY: Obviously you never saw Jamie Lee Kurtis in A Fish Called Wanda.
DOCTOR PITT: Kate…
KATE: I know. You want to start my IV.
(KATE SNEEZES)
TONY: If I catch your cold I’m going to be very pissed. (TO DOCTOR PITT) She’ll be okay, right?
CUT TO:
INT. INNER LAB – NIGHT
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
GIBBS: Hey, McGee.
MCGEE: Yeah.
GIBBS: Special Agent Yates needs your computer.
MCGEE: Cassie!
CASSIE: Hey, McGee. Can I sit in?
MCGEE: Yeah, sure. Boss, Cassie and I had parking spaces next to each other at Norfolk.
GIBBS: Why are you yelling at me, McGee?
MCGEE: So you can hear me through your hel – helmet?
GIBBS: The blood tests were negative.
(MCGEE TAKES HIS SUIT OFF)
MCGEE: Ah, sweet.
GIBBS: Not for DiNozzo.
MCGEE: Positive? Is he going to be okay?
GIBBS: If he isn’t, he’ll be answering to me.
(SFX: RAPID COMPUTER BEEP TONES)
CASSIE: Almost there.
MCGEE: Ah, no. Cassie, I already downloaded the NCIS report from the rape investigation.
CASSIE: My notes are in my training file. I was only a probie, but Pacci had me interview Sarah.
GIBBS: Oh, yeah. You’re a female, about the same age. Easier to talk to you than it is to a male agent.
CASSIE: It didn’t help. She didn’t remember a thing.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE – FLASHBACK
CASSIE: (V.O.) Traumatic amnesia. Not unusual for rape cases. (BEGIN FLASHBACK SCENES)
GIBBS: (V.O.) If she had amnesia, who accused the Midshipman?
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
CASSIE: (V.O.) Her mother. Recognize her?
DUCKY: (V.O.) Vaguely familiar.
CASSIE: (V.O.) How about in this photo?
DUCKY: (V.O.) Good god yes. That photo was on every front page in the world. She was more famous than Hanoi Jane.
GIBBS: Blow that up. Get closer on the headband.
CASSIE: My god, that’s a swak!
GIBBS: She a microbiologist?
CASSIE: No, but the best in the world work for her. Hanna’s CEO of Lowell Pharmaceuticals.
GIBBS: McGee, I want a search warrant!
MCGEE: On it, Boss.
GIBBS: I’ll grab a change of clothes and will meet you downstairs in five. Go to Bethesda and keep me updated on Tony’s condition.
DUCKY: Of course.
GIBBS: Find out why Kate hasn’t checked in!
MCGEE: You got it.
JIMMY: I got the phones, but they wouldn’t trust me with the weapons.
GIBBS: I wouldn’t either, Jimmy.
(GIBBS WALKS TO THE ELEVATOR)
JIMMY: Uh, that’s Agent DiNozzo’s cell phone, Sir. Gibbs?
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM – NIGHT
DOCTOR PITT: Why are you doing this, Kate?
KATE: Damned if I know. But I’m doing it. You’re not going to tell Tony.
DOCTOR PITT: Well, I’ve already informed Doctor Mallard you’re not infected.
KATE: Ducky will understand. Gibbs will be the problem.
DOCTOR PITT: No. The problem is that Tony can infect you.
KATE: What with all the UV lights and air scrubbers, or are they just here for patient morale?
DOCTOR PITT: I cannot permit you to stay. This strain has been genetically altered to resist antibiotics. Do you realize what that means?
KATE: That the IV in Tony’s arm is useless. So why do it?
DOCTOR PITT: Well, it can’t hurt. And it gives him…
KATE: Hope.
TONY: Kate, tell Doctor Brad about that wet t-shirt contest you won.
KATE: Tell Emma about the transsexual you tongued.
TONY: That never happened.
(EMMA LAUGHS)
TONY: That never happened.
(SFX: TONY COUGHS)
TONY: Thanks for passing along the cold, Kate.
(FADE OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. BUILDING LOBBY – DAY
CASSIE: How do you want to handle this?
GIBBS: Subtle approach. You serve the warrant. I’ll shove my Sig in her face.
CASSIE: Gibbs, Hanna Lowell has been arrested at more protests than Jesse Jackson. She won’t be intimidated.
GIBBS: Okay, then I’ll shoot her and I’ll go after whoever made the damn bug for her.
CASSIE: You’re not going to kill her.
GIBBS: I said shoot, not kill.
CASSIE: There are dozens of microbiologists here. It would take days to interrogate them. Tony doesn’t have days.
GIBBS: Do you know where her office is or should I ask the receptionist?
CASSIE: Boss always has the top floor office.
GUARD: Excuse me. Excuse me. You have to check-in with the receptionist. Do you have an appointment?
GIBBS: No. We have a federal warrant.
GUARD: Security alert.
CUT TO:
INT. OUTER OFFICE – DAY
HANNAH: (V.O.) It’s about time you got here.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE – DAY
HANNAH: I left enough cookie crumbs.
GIBBS: You left more than cookie crumbs, lady.
HANNAH: I regret I resorted to such a dramatic act, but you people at NCIS left me no choice when you lied to protect the Academy. Now, you admit that a Midshipman raped my daughter and this will all be over.
CASSIE: The DNA testing cleared…
HANNAH: Oh, stop it. I know how easy it is to dope a DNA test.
GIBBS: You love dramatic acts.
CASSIE: They can be very effective.
GIBBS: The effect of this one is going to imprison you for life.
CASSIE: That long, hmm?
GIBBS: You’re dying.
CASSIE: Rather rapidly. Which makes incarceration highly unlikely.
GIBBS: From the looks of it you want to protect just about every living thing on the planet except for Federal agents.
CASSIE: My daughter never recovered from the horror of that weekend. The truth will help her heal. Please! Please, give it to her. You won’t get that antidote until that Midshipman comes--
GIBBS: We don’t need it. The post office went postal on your plaque. Zapped it right through the lead swak. No one was infected.
HANNAH: Oh, I don’t believe you.
GIBBS: I don’t give a damn whether you believe me or not. You are under arrest for a biological attack on a Federal agency. Take her to interrogation. I’ll wait here for the task force to arrest the others.
CASSIE: You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right…
HANNAH: There are no others. I acted alone.
GIBBS: You are not a microbiologist.
HANNAH: (SHOUTS) I stole the Y. pestis! Doctor Pandy doesn’t even know it’s missing.
CUT TO:
INT. OUTER OFFICE – DAY
GIBBS: Doctor Pandy!
RECEPTIONIST: What?
GIBBS: Where’s Doctor Pandy’s lab.
RECEPTIONIST: North wing, ground floor, B-L-Alpha. But you need authorization to enter the North wing!
HANNAH: Someone was infected. I hope it was Westmoreland.
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM – DAY
(SFX: TONY CONTINUES COUGHING)
DOCTOR PITT: Lay back, Tony. All right, everybody behind the shield. Tony, I’m going to need you to take a deep breath and hold it.
TONY: I don’t think I can, Brad. Maybe Emma can do it for me. You have very healthy lungs, Emma.
EMMA: Is he always like this?
TONY: Unfortunately. Tony’s humor has always been sexist, juvenile, raunchy.
EMMA: Funny?
KATE: Oh, sometimes he can be funny.
CUT TO:
INT. BL-ALPHA ROOM – DAY
PANDY: There is no antidote. I developed a vaccine, not an antidote. It’s of no use once the victim is infected. Hannah misunderstood.
GIBBS: She understood.
PANDY: No, it’s the brain tumor.
GIBBS: That’s what’s killing her?
PANDY: It’s inoperable, obviously affecting her mind. Why else would a woman who fought to ban biological weapons use them?
GIBBS: I don’t know. Why is Lowell Pharmaceutical making them?
PANDY: We’re not.
GIBBS: You didn’t create this beast?
PANDY: Yes! But only to develop a defense against it. Antibiotic resistant diseases are potential terrorist weapons.
GIBBS: A terrorist isn’t killing my agent, you are!
PANDY: I understand your anger.
GIBBS: No, you don’t! But if you don’t save him, you will.
PANDY: It has a suicide gene that stops it from replicating after thirty two hours….as a security precaution.
GIBBS: It dies?
PANDY: Yes.
GIBBS: It’s dead now?
PANDY: If it’s over thirty two hours since the specimen has been infected, all of the Y. pestis is dead. However, the damage will have been done.
GIBBS: The specimen is going to die?!
PANDY: No. No, not necessarily. He has the same chance of survival as those infected in plagues of the past, probably better since he will be healthy and young.
GIBBS: What was the survival rate of the past?
PANDY: People were weakened by depleted crops, bad nutrition. .
GIBBS: Damn it! What was the survival rate?!
PANDY: Fifteen percent.
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM - DAY
DUCKY: It looks like pneumonia. (SFX: TONY COUGHS B.G.)
DOCTOR PITT: Worse, I’m afraid. He’s showing signs of cyanosis. His fingernails and lips are going blue.
DUCKY: The Y. pestis is starving his body of oxygen. It’s too late to reverse, isn’t it?
DOCTOR PITT: It’s never too late.
DUCKY: Until I get the body.
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM – DAY
TONY: I’m sorry I teased you with all those movies, Kate.
KATE: Teased? You’ve tortured me. For two years all I’ve heard is John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, James Bond.
TONY: James Bond… is a character… played by Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan. Why are you wearing a mask? (SFX: TONY COUGHS)
KATE: Because I have a cold.
TONY: (WEAKLY) Why aren’t you sick?
KATE: Because I’m stronger than you, Tony.
TONY: (WEAKLY) Are not.
KATE: Am too.
(TONY CHOKES/ GAGS)
KATE: Tony! Tony! Sit up!
DOCTOR PITT: Kate, you should leave. Now!
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
DUCKY: You were brave to stay with him, Kate. (KATE CRIES)
KATE: (CRYING) He’s dying, Ducky.
GIBBS: Ah, the hell he is!
CUT TO:
INT. ISOLATION ROOM – DAY
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
DOCTOR PITT: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who the hell are you?
GIBBS: His boss. The bug has a suicide gene. It’s dead. It’s been dead for over an hour. He’s no longer infectious. (WHISPERS TO TONY) Tony, listen to me. Are you listening?
TONY: (GASPS WEAKLY) I’m listening. I’m listening, Boss.
GIBBS: (WHISPERS) You will not die, you got that? (BEAT) I said, you will not die.
(GIBBS HITS TONY)
TONY: (WHISPERS) Okay, I got you, Boss.
GIBBS: (WHISPERS) Good. It’s your new cell. I’d get the number changed. Women keep calling for Spankie.
TONY: (WHISPERS) Spankie.
CUT TO:
INT. WAITING ROOM – DAY
CASSIE: (V.O.) Will you excuse me? (TO GIBBS) How’s Tony?
GIBBS: Ah, he’ll make it. What happened?
CASSIE: Oh, Hanna lost it in the car. Started rambling, flashing peace signs. When she bared her breasts and shouted “Make love not war!” I drove straight here.
GIBBS: Sure it wasn’t an act?
CASSIE: Her neurologist says it’s the tumor. He just left. He wants her released into his care.
GIBBS: Not likely. He can see her here as much as he wants. Is that Sarah?
CASSIE: Just as blank as four years ago. (TO SARAH) Sarah, this is Special Agent Gibbs.
SARAH: I am so sorry. I can’t believe this. I knew someday Mother would do something terrible. I told her, but she wouldn’t believe me.
GIBBS: Told her?
SARAH: That it wasn’t a Midshipman.
GIBBS: So you remember who assaulted you?
SARAH: No!
GIBBS: How do you know it wasn’t a Midshipman?
SARAH: I… heard they were all cleared.
GIBBS: Are you sure you don’t remember?
SARAH: (LONG BEAT) Yes.
CASSIE: You know who raped you, don’t you, Sarah? (LONG BEAT) Sarah?
(SARAH CRIES)
SARAH: (CRYING) I wasn’t raped. Will thought it was funny… tying me to the bed.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM – FLASHBACK
SARAH: I’d said that the Midshipman looked cute in their uniform. And so when he went out to get us some burgers and shakes, he tied me up so that way I wouldn’t run off with one of them. It was a joke! (DIALOGUE OVER MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK SCENES)
(FILTERED VOICES B.G.)
SARAH: And then when he didn’t come back… I started going crazy – first worrying about why and then… and then being found.
CASSIE: What happened to him?
SARAH: He was killed by a hit-and-run driver crossing the road.
CASSIE: Why did you say you were raped?
SARAH: I was tied naked to a bed. What else could I tell my mother?
CUT TO:
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT
KATE: Can I sleep here?
DOCTOR PITT: As long as you don’t give Tony that cold.
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
CUT TO:
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT
EMMA: He’s asleep.
KATE: Thank you.
(SFX: LIGHTS CLICKS OFF)
TONY: This reminds me of the end of Alien.
(KATE CHUCKLES)
(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)
(FADE OUT)
(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)
* * * * * * * *
Prepared by C.C. Printed in USA
Calvert Continuities Aired 5/10/05
