14x14 – Nonstop
Kettering's House: Porch
Zeke: Paco's Pizza here to greet ya! Answer the door, let me meet ya!
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Zeke: Hey. It's me.
Paco: What's up, Zeke?
Zeke: Check that address again. I got another no-show.
Paco: What?
Zeke: It's our stupid phone app. I think there's a glitch... Hello?
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Kettering's House
Zeke: Are you okay? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
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NCIS: Squad room
Eleanor Bishop: What are you workin' on, Nick?
Nicholas Torres: Just going over that Norfolk case... We did pretty good work in there.
Eleanor Bishop: That's a pretty long report. Maybe you want to take a load off.
Nicholas Torres: I will... Eventually.
Eleanor Bishop: Okay, fine, Alex. Just take it.
Alexandra Quinn: Ha! Finally.
Nicholas Torres: Wait, what's happening?
Alexandra Quinn: Excuse me. Ooh, come to Mama... Drinks on me later. Bishop bet me that you would sit in that chair by the end of the day.
Eleanor Bishop: It's been three days.
Nicholas Torres: Wait, hold on. You're telling me that it's been three whole days since I sat on this chair?
Eleanor Bishop: Days, weeks, months. Maybe ever.
Nicholas Torres: You're being dramatic. I sit here plenty.
Alexandra Quinn: Huh. Then sit now.
Eleanor Bishop: Yeah, sit.
Nicholas Torres: Well, I'm not gonna sit now 'cause you're telling me to... Fine. I don't get the big idea.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: On your feet. Dead petty officer in Hastings. McGee will meet us there.
Nicholas Torres: See? That's why I like to stand. I'm a man of action. Stayin' on my toes!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Who won the $20?
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Street
Walter Osorio: What'd you see when you looked in the window there? Why'd you step inside?
Zeke: I saw her on the floor.
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Kettering's House: Porch
Eleanor Bishop: Is it wrong that I'm suddenly craving a slice?
Alexandra Quinn: Oh, no, I know a joint in Brookly... Puts all others to shame.
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Kettering's House: living room
Timothy McGee: Boss, victim is Petty Officer Second Class Maya Kettering. 26 years old. Stationed out of Norfolk. Place is tossed. Maybe a robbery gone wrong?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No sign of forced entry, front or back.
Nicholas Torres: Alarm wasn't tripped, so either the killer bypassed it or...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Or she knew the guy. She let him in... You meet the sheriff?
Nicholas Torres: Yeah. He's a real, um, Barney Fife.
Timothy McGee: Ah. Maynard County's a bit Mayberry-ish. Small-town law enforcement.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Locate the victim's husband?
Nicholas Torres: Yeah, the sheriff said he's on a plane. He was in San Francisco on business, and he's on his way back to D.C. now.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: All right. Have agents there to meet him.
Nicholas Torres: Yes, sir.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Duck, cause of death.
Donald Mallard: Ah, Jethro, you know I hate to speculate, particularly if I haven't done my complete examination.
James Palmer: I'll bet he speculates anyway.
Donald Mallard: Well, take a look at her eyes. This subconjunctival hemorrhaging would indicate...
Walter Osorio: Strangulation.
Donald Mallard: Walter?
Walter Osorio: Dr. Mallard. And I prefer Sheriff Osorio while we're on official business.
Nicholas Torres: That's the Barney Fife I was telling you about.
Timothy McGee: Oh, my God.
Walter Osorio: Miss me, Gibbs?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're the sheriff?
Walter Osorio: Well, I thought Dr. Palmer would've told you by now.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, he did not.
James Palmer: I-I completely forgot. I-I remember you were elected, but-but the-the where somehow eluded me.
Walter Osorio: You're looking well, Donald. You'll be happy to know that Jimmy filled your position with the Sherlocks seamlessly.
Donald Mallard: I had little doubt.
Nicholas Torres: The Sherlocks?
Timothy McGee: It's a long story.
Nicholas Torres: Wait, you know this guy?
Timothy McGee: Even longer story.
Walter Osorio: Don't sweat jurisdiction, Gibbs. I was the one who called you in. And rest assured, I'll be happy to let your NCIS team work with me.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I appreciate that, Sheriff.
Walter Osorio: Man, I love the sound of that. Ain't it great to have the gang back together?
Timothy McGee: Boss, what was that?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That was Sheriff Osorio.
James Palmer: I'll just say it... Uh, this one's on me.
Timothy McGee: What was that? What was he saying about letting our team work with his? Isn't this where we usually claim jurisdiction?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That didn't do much good last time.
Nicholas Torres: Wait, I'm sorry, last time?
Timothy McGee: Really long story.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Keep your friends close and the crazies even closer.
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Clubhouse: living room
Lyle Waznicki: A murder? We just hit the jackpot!
Walter Osorio: Not so fast, Lyle. This is a Maynard County case, not a Sherlock case.
Judith McKnight: Oh, Walty Walt. Let us help.
Walter Osorio: Uh, unofficially, maybe. Probie! Where are those pigs in a blanket? Sheriff's hungry!
Judith McKnight: It's late. Where's Dr. Palmer?
Walter Osorio: He's been held up.
Lyle Waznicki: Your victim is Navy.
Walter Osorio: Oh, give me that.
Judith McKnight: Navy? You saw Special Agent Gibbs?
Lyle Waznicki: We've dealt with NCIS before. What is the problem?
Walter Osorio: Gibbs. He's a hard nut to crack.
Judith McKnight: I'd love to have a crack at him.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Did you say... "Special Agent Gibbs"?
Judith McKnight: You know him, probie?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Indeed I do. We're old friends. We go way back.
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NCIS: Squad room
Timothy McGee: Sheriff Walt Osorio, author Judith McKnight, Lyle No Last Name, and Jimmy Palmer. Together, they make up the Sherlock Consortium for Investigation.
Nicholas Torres: What does that mean, exactly?
Timothy McGee: It's a privately funded investigative team. Brilliant minds from diverse backgrounds get together and tackle unsolved cases.
Alexandra Quinn: What? They look like a bunch of wackos. Oh. No offense, Jimmy.
James Palmer: Oh, none taken. We get that a lot. But we're actually quite adept at crime-solving. We are a quintet now. We had a new member join a few weeks ago. You guys know him, actually.
Nicholas Torres: Who?
James Palmer: No. I can't reveal his identity. No, no, no. Breaking the oath of secrecy would have serious repercussions.
Timothy McGee: Jimmy.
James Palmer: Okay, okay. I-I can give you, like, a little hint. I shouldn't be doing this. Um, he's related to Tony.
Timothy McGee: Senior? How did he get involved?
James Palmer: It was Tony's idea. Yeah. It's a funny story.
Alexandra Quinn: Uh, Gibbs.
James Palmer: Oh, Gibbs. Yeah, he would fit right in... Cheerio.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Give me an update.
Alexandra Quinn: Yes. Our victim is Petty Officer Maya Kettering. Stationed aboard the USS Tallahassee out of Norfolk.
Timothy McGee: Last time she used her cell phone was 3:17 p.m. today.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Who'd she call?
Timothy McGee: No one. She used a food app to order lunch.
Nicholas Torres: Yeah, the pizza delivery guy found the body in 30 minutes or less.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Suspects. What do we know about her husband?
Alexandra Quinn: Michael Kettering, 30. Graphic designer in Centreville.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: His plane land yet?
Nicholas Torres: Yeah, an hour ago. Agents met him at the airport. He's in the conference room with Bishop now.
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NCIS: Conference room
Michael Kettering: Every time Maya deployed, I lived in this constant... State of fear. I thought home was gonna be the one place that she'd be safe... How did this happen?
Eleanor Bishop: We're trying to figure that out, Mr. Kettering.
Michael Kettering: I begged her to use the home security system, but she hated the thing.
Eleanor Bishop: But you used it?
Michael Kettering: We both are gone so much for work, and I wasn't comfortable stashing money in the house.
Eleanor Bishop: "Stashing"?
Michael Kettering: Yeah, it was nothing illegal. $5,000. Our-our emergency fund.
Eleanor Bishop: Where?
Michael Kettering: In a coffee can in the freezer... Is that what this was? A robbery?
Eleanor Bishop: It's possible. Was your wife having problems with anyone? She ever mention any enemies?
Michael Kettering: How? She wasn't home for the last year.
Eleanor Bishop: How 'bout on the Tallahassee?
Michael Kettering: I flew to Rota, Spain, last month when her ship docked for R & R. She said that she had just had a blowout with her department head.
Eleanor Bishop: About what?
Michael Kettering: Well, Maya didn't want to talk about it... I should've asked more questions... I should've done a lot of things.
Eleanor Bishop: Um, we have to process your home for evidence tonight. Do you have someplace to stay? Mr. Kettering, do you have someplace to sleep tonight?
Michael Kettering: Uh... Yeah... Yeah, I do.
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NCIS: Autopsy room
James Palmer: Thanks for letting me do the cervical artery dissection today, Doctor.
Donald Mallard: You earned it, Doctor. How would you like to deliver our findings to Gibbs?
James Palmer: Really?
Donald Mallard: I can do it, if you prefer.
James Palmer: No, I'll do it.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You called me, Duck?
Donald Mallard: Yes, Jethro. My initial assessment of Petty Officer Kettering's cause of death has proven to be correct.
James Palmer: It was, uh... It was strangulation. Uh, more precisely, it was, uh, asphyxiation due to hypoxia.
Donald Mallard: Now then, a damaged hyoid bone would be a telltale sign of strangulation.
James Palmer: But it's not applicable in this case.
Donald Mallard: And why is that?
James Palmer: Because our victim is 26.
Donald Mallard: Which is relevant because...?
James Palmer: Because the hyoid bone doesn't fully form until the age of 30.
Donald Mallard: Very good, Doctor.
James Palmer: Thank you, Doctor.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Why do I need to be here?
Donald Mallard: Uh, oh... During our examination, we found this rash on her neck and lower back.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Poison ivy?
Donald Mallard: Not at this time of year. No, whatever caused this is inorganic.
James Palmer: I pulled some fibers from the abrasions there and sent 'em up to Abby. She should be analyzing 'em now.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Good work... Doctors.
James Palmer: I liked it better when he called me Jimmy.
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Street
Timothy McGee: I-I don't believe it. That can't be right.
Nicholas Torres: It was a published study, my friend. Sitting is the new smoking.
Timothy McGee: Now, which magazine was this?
Nicholas Torres: Popular Science. So legit.
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Kettering's House: Porch
Nicholas Torres: Or was it GQ?
Timothy McGee: Oh. Well, then it must be true... Seals are broken.
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Kettering's House: Living room
Timothy McGee: NCIS!
Nicholas Torres: On the ground!
Taj Robinson: Me?
Nicholas Torres: No, the other blond guy holding the other alarm box... Yeah, you, genius. Drop the weapon.
Taj Robinson: It's just a screwdriver, bro... Whoa. Are you robbing me? I'm calling the cops.
Nicholas Torres: We are the cops. Try to keep up, kid.
Taj Robinson: Oh... Hey, that's my wallet.
Timothy McGee: Taj Robinson, D.C. address. Taj, this is an active crime scene. What are you doing here?
Taj Robinson: Bro, I'm a Voltrane alarm technician. All right? I was called here to remove the unit.
Timothy McGee: Who called you?
Walter Osorio: I did.
Timothy McGee: Walt? What are you doing here?
Walter Osorio: Same thing you are. Conducting a murder investigation. Kindly removeyour size sevens and let Taj do his job.
Nicholas Torres: It's, uh, size 11, pops.
Walter Osorio: Yeah. Keep dreaming, kid.
Timothy McGee: Why did you not notify NCIS you were coming here?
Walter Osorio: Why didn't you notify the sheriff's department that you were coming?
Taj Robinson: Uh, can I finish up here?
Timothy McGee: No.
Walter Osorio: Yes.
Timothy McGee: Walt, we have it from here, okay?
Walter Osorio: It's Sheriff Osorio, and this is a joint investigation. You've got the husband, so I'll take the alarm box.
Timothy McGee: And if you find anything on it, you'll share it with NCIS?
Walter Osorio: Sure.
Nicholas Torres: Well, that sounds convincing... Let's check the freezer.
Walter Osorio: Yeah, if you're looking for money, it's gone. I just checked myself. All they've got in there is some chicken cutlets and an empty coffee can.
Timothy McGee: How'd you know it was a money stash?
Walter Osorio: Toilet, freezer, mattress. The go-to spots. How much was in the coffee can?
Timothy McGee: Apparently enough to kill for.
Walter Osorio: Hmm.
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USS Tallahassee: hallway
James Shelty: Just returned from a six-month deployment in the Med.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: How long had Petty Officer Kettering been stationed onboard?
James Shelty: Three years, same as me.
Eleanor Bishop: And what kind of sailor was she?
James Shelty: "Was." It's hard to believe. She had a bright future ahead of her... As her C.O., I take this loss personally.
Eleanor Bishop: We'd like to speak with her department head.
James Shelty: She's on her way in. You can wait in the wardroom with your other agents.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What other agents?
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USS Tallahassee: mess
Judith McKnight: Well, hello, sailor.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Gibbs. Eleanor. Surprise.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Chief. Seriously?
Eleanor Bishop: H-How did you get onto the base? The Sherlock Consortium isn't a law-enforcement agency.
Lyle Waznicki: We're not Sherlocks. We're deputies.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Excuse me?
Judith McKnight: Sheriff Walt deputized us... Guess who's got a new set of handcuffs?
Eleanor Bishop: Hmm.
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Lyle Waznicki: And so I discovered that bylaw 357 of the Commonwealth of Virginia allows county sheriffs to hire, and fire, as they see fit.
Judith McKnight: Walt hired us last night.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You got a badge, too?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Afraid not. I'm a probationary member of the Sherlocks. My role here is to observe and learn.
Lyle Waznicki: He's our pledge.
Eleanor Bishop: Sheriff give you weapons, too?
Judith McKnight: Probie. My weapon?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Yeah.
Judith McKnight: You're gonna like this.
Eleanor Bishop: A cell phone?
Judith McKnight: A stun gun... Bad boys get 300,000 volts to the crotch... Want to know what good boys get?
Eleanor Bishop: Oh, boy.
Lyle Waznicki: Since we're law enforcement equals now, how about a little quid pro quo?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You want to help? Stay in your clubhouse. Out of our way.
Lyle Waznicki: It's called concurrent jurisdiction, Agent Gibbs. You're stuck with us.
Eleanor Bishop: Gibbs. Where are you going?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Overboard.
Judith McKnight: Mm, that man turns me into molten lava.
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NCIS: Abby's lab
Abigael Scuito: Torres. What are you doing?
Nicholas Torres: You called me.
Abigael Scuito: Not so you could spy on me.
Nicholas Torres: I'm not spying. I'm... I'm just admiring. You know, you have this entire open floor plan. You're there, then you're here, then you're everywhere.
Abigael Scuito: I'm a mover, it helps me think.
Nicholas Torres: Yeah. Not a chair in sight. It's awesome. So what do you got?
Abigael Scuito: Well, our killer was very, very careful. There is no DNA under her fingernails, there's no blood, there's no fingerprints, nothing.
Nicholas Torres: But. There's always a "but."
Abigael Scuito: But the fibers that were embedded in the rash on Petty Officer Kettering's back and neck, they're a match to the carpet in her living room.
Nicholas Torres: So that rash is rug burn?
Abigael Scuito: Yeah... So her killer dragged her to the front door, and then, either was interrupted by pizza kid, or...
Nicholas Torres: Or... Her killer wanted her to be found.
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USS Tallahassee: hallway
Cheryl Dombrowski: I've been Maya's department head for the past three years. She was as squared away as they come.
Eleanor Bishop: When's the last time you two spoke?
Cheryl Dombrowski: Yesterday morning in the chap's office. Told her to enjoy her leave... Excuse me. This is all just hitting me now.
Judith McKnight: Who's this "chap" she was with?
Cheryl Dombrowski: "Chap" is short for chaplain. Maya helped coordinate the Catholic services aboard the ship.
Judith McKnight: Write that down.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: On it, boss.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: How'd the two of you get along?
Cheryl Dombrowski: You're not supposed to have favorites, but she was one of mine. I never told her that... In fact, I was extra hard on her because I saw how much potential Maya had.
Eleanor Bishop: What about the argument the two of you had in Rota a few weeks ago?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That more tough love?
Cheryl Dombrowski: You could say that.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What would you say?
Judith McKnight: He's got her cornered... Sorry.
Cheryl Dombrowski: It was about Maya's leave time.
Eleanor Bishop: She wanted more?
Cheryl Dombrowski: Less. I had to practically order her to take a few days off.
Eleanor Bishop: She have a reason for wanting to stay onboard?
Judith McKnight: Don't dance around it. Agent Bishop's saying this ship is full of seamen.
Cheryl Dombrowski: No. Not Maya. For as long as I've known her, she never even looked at another man. She was married. She took that vow very seriously.
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Clubhouse: living room
Timothy McGee: Hello?
Walter Osorio: Ah. Special Agent McGee. Over here.
Timothy McGee: This is Maynard County Sheriff's office?
Walter Osorio: The real one is a dump I have to share with the mayor, so I use the Sherlocks' den.
Lyle Waznicki: And we have dessert.
Timothy McGee: So, uh, Gibbs mentioned that, uh, you found something on the alarm?
Walter Osorio: Depends. Do you have Maya Kettering's autopsy report? Lyle.
Lyle Waznicki: Agent McGee, are you familiar with the Internet?
Timothy McGee: I've heard of it.
Walter Osorio: Fast-forward to the end, Lyle.
Lyle Waznicki: Okay. We dug up dirt on the husband, Mike Kettering.
Walter Osorio: He's got an airtight alibi, we know. But he has a secret. He doesn't live at home on weekends.
Timothy McGee: How do you know that?
Lyle Waznicki: From the alarm panel we removed from their house. Every time the code is entered, it records the time and date.
Walter Osorio: And the code was never entered between Friday mornings and Monday nights for the last three months.
Lyle Waznicki: Booyakasha.
Timothy McGee: Let me take a look at the panel.
Lyle Waznicki: It's, uh, technically not functioning right now, but keep... Keep your coolio. I downloaded the schematics. But... That's something, right?
Timothy McGee: I don't know. It depends where Kettering goes on weekends.
Lyle Waznicki: Let's... Ask him.
Walter Osorio: I think it's better if we don't show him our cards.
Timothy McGee: I'm with Walt. I think we do this one covertly.
Lyle Waznicki: Look at that... The two of you just agreed on something.
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NCIS: Garage
Abigael Scuito: Oh, hey, Quinn. What are you doing down here?
Alexandra Quinn: I'm sifting through every unsolved burglary in the tri-state area and trying to find a pattern.
Abigael Scuito: I know what you're doing. You came down here so you could hang out with all these old solved cases and hopefully get some good juju.
Alexandra Quinn: Hmm. What brings you down here?
Abigael Scuito: Tracking where Mike Kettering has been spending his weekends.
Alexandra Quinn: By using his wife's cell phone?
Abigael Scuito: Thanks. Sort of. Three Sundays ago, there was a power surge, and it tripped their alarm. He wasn't home, so he had to turn it off remotely.
Alexandra Quinn: Oh, by using one of those apps on the phone.
Abigael Scuito: Exactly. For security, the I.P. Address is captured whenever it's used.
Alexandra Quinn: Like three Sundays ago. Well, couldn't you use the I.P. Address to locate Kettering's whereabouts?
Abigael Scuito: I can. Problem is, it could take hours or even days... Or seconds. I am that good.
Alexandra Quinn: I believe you.
Abigael Scuito: Fredericksburg. That's, like... 60 miles away from Hastings. What was he doing there?
Alexandra Quinn: I don't know, but Torres likes a good stakeout.
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Gibbs' house: living room
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Gibbs?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, Chief, come on in.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Sorry to intrude. There's something I need to get off my chest... You expecting someone?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. You. Sit down.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Junior wasn't exaggerating about the Gibbs gut.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What's on your mind?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Well, uh... I know that you're not too thrilled about me working with the Sherlocks, and, uh, I wanted to explain.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: There's nothing to explain.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: You know, uh, I went to visit Junior at Christmas in Paris with little Tali. She's adorable. He's an amazing father. I came back, and... I fell into a little funk. A big funk, actually... I tried everything. Nothing seemed to fill the void. And then Junior, he, um, he suggested the Sherlocks, and he put in a call... I admit they're out there, but they got my blood flowing again.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey, you're happy, I'm happy.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Which, uh... Brings me to my, uh... Next topic. It's, uh, rather a delicate matter. It's about, uh, Judith... Your ex-lover.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: My ex-what?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Oh, you're still an item?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No! No item. Not... No, not ever.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: I understand, I understand. A gentleman never kisses and tells. I won't intrude, but, uh, I would like your blessing.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: For what?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: To woo Judith. That woman turns me into molten lava.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Ah, geez.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Is that a yes?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. Sure. Woo away.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Tremendous. Stupendous.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Woo, woo away from me.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Oh, that's great. You are a class act, Gibbs. I owe you one. Hey, can I get this to go? Thanks.
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Car
Lyle Waznicki: So you think of your office as a prison. Subconsciously, is what I'm saying. Therefore, your desk is your cell, and your chair is what, Nick? Solitary confinement. And nobody wants to be in solitary confinement.
Nicholas Torres: Solitary confinement sounds pretty good right now.
Eleanor Bishop: Okay, Lyle, it's time for the silent game... This looks like Kettering's car.
Nicholas Torres: Here we go.
Eleanor Bishop: Yup, that's him. And he's got company.
Lyle Waznicki: Let's do this.
Nicholas Torres: Wait, wait. Wait. Hold on. Hold on. No, we sit and watch.
Lyle Waznicki: I feel you... Who's the dame?
Eleanor Bishop: Brunette, about 30. She's carrying a bag. Looks like groceries.
Lyle Waznicki: Our research said he has a sister.
Nicholas Torres: Mm.
Lyle Waznicki: Ooh!
Nicholas Torres: That is not his sister.
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NCIS: Conference room
Darlene Jones: Mike? You mean my Mike? Kettering?
Nicholas Torres: Your Mike Kettering.
Darlene Jones: You've got the wrong guy.
Nicholas Torres: Maybe you got the wrong guy.
Darlene Jones: We're engaged. He proposed three months ago. We're getting married this summer.
Eleanor Bishop: Darlene, your fiancé is already married.
Darlene Jones: No, that... Simply isn't possible... Oh, my God. Where did you get this?
Eleanor Bishop: From their home in Hastings.
Nicholas Torres: His wife's name was Maya Kettering.
Eleanor Bishop: She was murdered two days ago... We're investigating her death.
Darlene Jones: Are you saying Mike is a suspect? He would never be capable of murder.
Nicholas Torres: You sure about that? He was capable of duping you for nine months.
Darlene Jones: No. You're wrong.
Eleanor Bishop: Can you tell us where you were two days ago, Darlene?
Darlene Jones: I was at work. I-I'm a nurse at... Wait. Now I'm a suspect?
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NCIS: Interview room
Mike Kettering: You told her that I was married?!
Alexandra Quinn: How could you not tell her?
Mike Kettering: You have to let me talk to her.
Alexandra Quinn: Mm. You have ruined everything! Everything, really? Well, your wife was just murdered. Do you remember her?
Mike Kettering: Listen to me. I was devastated about Maya. Despite it all... I loved her. But Darlene is my soul mate.
Alexandra Quinn: Oh. Right. And you forgot to mention your soul mate to Agent Bishop when she interviewed you?
Mike Kettering: Because I didn't want this to happen. Hey, I admit I am no saint, but infidelity's not a crime.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Murder is.
Mike Kettering: Can you stop wasting your time with me and find Maya's killer?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Tell us about Darlene.
Mike Kettering: We met a few months after Maya last deployed... I was lonely... And a... One-night stand turned into a week, and then a month, and... What can I say? We fell in love.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You moved in with her.
Mike Kettering: Yeah, on weekends. Told her that I lived in Dallas. I was gonna tell her the truth, but the original lie just kept... Snowballing, and...
Alexandra Quinn: Until your wife came home.
Mike Kettering: I was gonna ask for a divorce. But then... Your agents met me in the airport with... That horrible news.
Alexandra Quinn: Horrible? Sounds like problem solved. I mean, for you and Darlene.
Mike Kettering: Darlene didn't do this. She didn't even know about Maya.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What if she found out?
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Clubhouse: living room
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: I'm in a charming château in Bordeaux, and the sommelier gave me this bottle, and he says, "Entre deux coeurs en s'aiment, nul besoin de paroles," which loosely means, "Two hearts in love need no words."
Judith McKnight: Words are overrated... Oh. Look at the time. It's gin-thirty. Be a dear and make mama a martini?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Of course. Hope you like it, uh... Dirty?
Judith McKnight: Filthy.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Mm.
James Palmer: Yeah, I'm gonna go someplace else.
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Taj Robinson: You fried the resistor on the motion-detector wire.
Lyle Waznicki: So? Fix it.
Taj Robinson: It's not that easy.
James Palmer: Lyle, sorry to interrupt. Uh, can you give this to Walt when he gets back? It is the airport surveillance video he requested.
Lyle Waznicki: Dr. Palmer, do you know how to assemble a Voltrane alarm panel?
James Palmer: Uh, uh, no.
Lyle Waznicki: Neither does my friend Taj here, which is surprising because he is a Voltrane alarm technician.
Taj Robinson: Bro, I install. I don't repair. What's with all the neggie vibes, man?
James Palmer: Lyle? Surveillance video.
Lyle Waznicki: Yes. I will give it to Walt.
James Palmer: Great.
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NCIS: Squad room
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What do we know about Darlene Jones?
Nicholas Torres: Well, she's a neonatal nurse in Fredericksburg. No priors, never been arrested.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Her alibi check out?
Nicholas Torres: Verifying it with the hospital now.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Any connection between her and Maya Kettering?
Nicholas Torres: So far, no. No calls, no texts, no angry social media posts. No indication that either one was aware of the other.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Okay. Let's go over Kettering's alibi again.
Timothy McGee: Way ahead of you, boss. We got the TSA surveillance video here from Mike Kettering's flights.
Eleanor Bishop: Tracked him all the way across the country.
Timothy McGee: San Francisco, 5:06 a.m. There's, uh, Kettering going through security.
Eleanor Bishop: 5:17 a.m., there he is in the blue hat and dark coat, entering a bathroom in Terminal Six.
Timothy McGee: Four minutes later, he exits the men's room and heads to the gate where he boards a flight at 6:18 to Chicago. He sits in 16C.
Eleanor Bishop: He had a 92-minute layover during which he took a nap in that chair.
Timothy McGee: He then caught the 1:10 flight to D.C. Landed an hour and a half after his wife was killed. Two of our agents met him at baggage claim. As far as alibis go, boss, this is as airtight as it gets.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What about murder-for-hire?
Nicholas Torres: Checked his finances. No major bank withdrawals, credit card advances, or lines of credit in the last year.
Eleanor Bishop: Gibbs?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: We're missing something... Torres, McGee, go with Quinn, check out the burglary angle.
Eleanor Bishop: Uh, what-what do you want me to do?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're with me, Bishop. We're gonna see if the Sherlocks are holding out on us.
Eleanor Bishop: Uh, you sure that's a good idea?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No.
----------
NCIS: Garage
Timothy McGee: Quinn, you got that other file?
Alexandra Quinn: Aah! I'm sorry, McGee. I'm sorry. I'm just getting a little punchy down here in the salt mines.
Nicholas Torres: Kung pao pollo!
Alexandra Quinn: Oh, about time.
Timothy McGee: All right, found another one.
Alexandra Quinn: What?! This is just... This is too much of a coincidence, right?
Nicholas Torres: What is?
Timothy McGee: Eight homes with the same alarm system as the Ketterings have been robbed in the last year.
Alexandra Quinn: Everyone goes out and forgets to put their alarm system on?
Nicholas Torres: Lucky thief.
Alexandra Quinn: Yeah. Too lucky.
James Palmer: Moo goo gai pan! Yeah, let's do this!
Alexandra Quinn: I mean, what if there was a way to know if a system has been disarmed?
Timothy McGee: All the alarms are connected on the company's private network. Any Voltrane employee could have had access.
Alexandra Quinn: Hmm.
Nicholas Torres: Hey, that alarm tech... What's his name?
James Palmer: Taj? You mean Taj?
Timothy McGee: Yeah. How'd you know that?
James Palmer: I just saw him at the Sherlock house. He's helping Lyle fix the alarm.
Timothy McGee: Call Gibbs. He's on his way there. I'll call Lyle.
----------
Clubhouse: living room
Lyle Waznicki: He is... Really? You're sure about that?
Taj Robinson: You know you voided the warranty.
Lyle Waznicki: I love you, Mom.
Taj Robinson: What?
Lyle Waznicki: It'll be over in seven seconds... Resisting... Is pointless.
Taj Robinson: What the hell, bro?
Lyle Waznicki: Oh, my God. It's for you.
Taj Robinson: Whoa, dude!
----------
Clubhouse: yard
Taj Robinson: Hey! Hey! Hey! Don't you...!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Take the back.
----------
Clubhouse: Living room
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: NCIS!
Lyle Waznicki: He just... Taj... He zapped me.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Where is he?
Lyle Waznicki: He's up there... I can taste my own blood.
----------
Clubhouse: bathroom
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: NCI... Oh, geez.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Gibbs. Uh, forgive me for not getting up.
Judith McKnight: Trust me, he's already up.
----------
Clubhouse: yard
Taj Robinson: Ow. Ooh.
----------
Taj's car
Eleanor Bishop: Get out.
----------
NCIS: Interview room
Taj Robinson: Man, would you quit messing with my phone? What are you even looking at anyway?
Timothy McGee: What I'm looking at, Taj, is a program that shows the status of every alarm you've installed from Virginia to... Delaware to Maryland.
Taj Robinson: So? That's company software.
Timothy McGee: Which you use to rob houses.
Taj Robinson: Rob what, now? I install alarms, bro.
Nicholas Torres: Well, the pay must be great... Bro, with that fancy-ass Rolex of yours.
Taj Robinson: It was a gift.
Nicholas Torres: Oh, I see. Was it "gifted" to you by a family in Annapolis? While they were out at the movies last week?
Timothy McGee: What happened with Maya Kettering? Stumble upon your latest burglary spree?
Taj Robinson: Kettering? Is that the chick that was killed at the house? Whoa. What is this? Sure, maybe I find stuff on my jobs. I-I didn't kill anyone.
Nicholas Torres: Where were you three days ago?
Taj Robinson: Come on, bro. I don't even remember three minutes ago.
Timothy McGee: Well, try. Your life may depend on it.
Taj Robinson: I was working a job down in Wilmington.
Timothy McGee: Your boss says you had the day off.
Taj Robinson: It was an off-the-books job.
Nicholas Torres: Do you have proof?
Taj Robinson: Hell, yeah. Check this out. Ha! That's a $200 belt right there. I paid nothing for it. Ha! Who's the fool now?
Nicholas Torres: Still you, Taj.
Taj Robinson: Oh, lame.
----------
NCIS: Squad room
Alexandra Quinn: That is the ugliest alibi I've ever seen.
Nicholas Torres: Stolen with other items from a house in Delaware at the same time that Petty Officer Kettering was killed.
Eleanor Bishop: Well, we can also rule out the fiancée, Darlene Jones. Six witnesses confirmed she was working at the hospital the day of the murder.
Nicholas Torres: Back to square one.
Alexandra Quinn: Mm-hmm.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Still one suspect left.
Alexandra Quinn: Who?
----------
Kettering's house: porch
Mike Kettering: Okay, Agent Gibbs, you called and I came.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. You made good time.
Mike Kettering: My motel's not very far... Look, I'm not really in the mood for talking, so...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, that's fine by me.
Mike Kettering: Thank you. Is the investigation over? Did you arrest Maya's killer?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No. No, but we know who it is.
Mike Kettering: Who?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You.
Mike Kettering: Is that some kind of joke?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No... No joke; it's you.
Mike Kettering: Wow. You must really... Hate me. 'Cause I was on a plane when Maya was killed, and you know that.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Don't know anything yet.
Mike Kettering: So I get my keys? No cuffs?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Oh, you'll get those, too, as soon as we figure out how you managed to be two places at once.
Mike Kettering: Well, good luck with that, because it didn't happen.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You know what did happen? I think you got Darlene pregnant... Oops. Then you flew to Spain to talk to your wife, ask her for a divorce, only... Maya was a good Catholic, and she wanted to work things out. But you didn't have that kind of time, so you went to plan B.
Mike Kettering: Go to hell.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I'll save you a seat.
----------
Kettering's house: porch / Clubhouse: living room
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. Gibbs.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Gibbs.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey, Chief. You okay?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Well... I'm exhausted and I'm sore.
----------
Car / Clubhouse: living room
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I thought we agreed never to speak of that.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Yeah, we did. I'm, uh, calling you about our case. Oh. That sounds good, doesn't it? "Our case"? Hey, did you ever smoke Cuban cigars? I've been looking at Kettering's airport videos.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: It reminds me of when I used to smuggle Cuban cigars into the country. I'd go to the duty-free at Heathrow and buy a box, and then I'd switch out the Cuban labels for the Nicaraguan labels. And Customs never caught on.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I'm not following.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: I did it in the men's room. That's the only place they don't have security cameras.
Judith McKnight: Round three, cowboy.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Gibbs... Got to go.
----------
NCIS: Squad room
Timothy McGee: Boss. Senior was onto something. Take a look at this. You remember the security footage from San Francisco Airport?
Nicholas Torres: All right, so Kettering goes into the bathroom, and 15 seconds later, boom, this guy with a camo jacket walks in. Now, they both spend exactly four minutes inside.
Timothy McGee: Nine hours later, Dulles Airport, D.C. Kettering goes to use the bathroom there as well.
Nicholas Torres: And check this out. Ten seconds later, it's Mr. Camo Jacket. The same hat, the same duffel, the same guy... 2,500 miles away.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: They on the same flights?
Nicholas Torres: We checked. No.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: They switched places.
Timothy McGee: Exactly.
----------
NCIS: Interview room
Mike Kettering: So, who is he?
Alexandra Quinn: Your alibi.
Eleanor Bishop: Story time, Kettering. Listen up. You found a strange... That guy... Who's about your height and weight, you paid cash for his ticket from San Francisco to D.C., same day and time as your flight.
Alexandra Quinn: Only difference is his flight was nonstop, while you had a layover in Chicago.
Eleanor Bishop: After you clear security, no one checks your I.D. again, so you met in the terminal bathroom. You swapped clothes and boarding passes... And when you came out... He was you, and you were him.
Mike Kettering: What, are you nuts?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Don't interrupt.
Eleanor Bishop: She's not done yet. He took your flight with the layover in Chicago, while you took his nonstop that landed in D.C. three hours earlier. Just enough time... For you to drive home, kill your wife, toss your house and then get back to the Dulles Airport just as your connecting flight landed.
Alexandra Quinn: You met back up with your friend in the airport bathroom again, swapped clothes, and paid him the five grand missing from your freezer.
Mike Kettering: Yeah. That's a good story. Where's the proof?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well, we tracked your camo-vested new best buddy, and he is writing a full confession right now... I'm a man of my word.
Mike Kettering: No, Th-this... This is crazy. What is he even doing here? He was supposed to fly to Mexico and then stay there... All I wanted was Darlene... And our new baby... It was a perfect plan.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Torres, we're good... It's only perfect if you get away with it.
Mike Kettering: Wait, that's not him... You set me up?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, well, I'm no saint, either.
----------
Clubhouse: living room
Walter Osorio: And as consulting detective, I hereby anoint thee Anthony DiNozzo Sr., a full-fledged member of the Sherlock Consortium for Investigation.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Thank you. Thanks very much... Thanks for coming, Gibbs.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Oh, I wouldn't have missed it.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: I'm not a probie anymore. I don't take orders from anyone.
Judith McKnight: Anthony. Beverages. Let's go.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Except her. I like that.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You look happy, Chief.
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: I am happy. New friends, new title, new lady. Judith is taking me to Paris tomorrow. I'm going to introduce her to my family. It's almost... Like I don't deserve all of this.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No one deserves it more.
