MUSIC IN:
EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT
(MUSIC OVER ACTION)
(TRUCK BRAKES TO A STOP)
(SFX: DUMPSTER LID OPENS)
(DRIVER LIFTS ITEMS/LEG FROM THE DUMPSTER)
(DRIVER GASPS)
(MUSIC OUT)
(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)
FADE IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
“MY OTHER LEFT FOOT”
TONY: Hey, how was your date last night?
KATE: How did you know I had a date last night?
TONY: You talk very loud when you’re on the phone. I’ve been meaning to say something.
KATE: You mean you eavesdropped.
TONY: Guess it didn’t go too well, huh?
KATE: He had to cancel.
TONY: What excuse did he give?
KATE: Surgery.
TONY: Hey, that’s a good one! I’ve got to remember that. What was wrong with him?
KATE: He didn’t have surgery, Tony, he performed it.
ABBY: Hey, how was your big date last night?
(KATE WALKS O.S.)
ABBY: What’d I say?
TONY: Date never happened.
ABBY: Oh. What excuse did he give?
TONY: Surgery.
ABBY: That’s a good one!
GIBBS: Grab your stuff.
KATE: Where are we going?
GIBBS: West Virginia.
TONY: Almost heaven. “Take me home, country road.” Old John Denver song. I’m going to grab my gear.
GIBBS: Clarksburg.
KATE: What’s in Clarksburg?
GIBBS: Junk dealer… stumbled onto a leg.
KATE: We’re driving to West Virginia to look at a leg?
GIBBS: It belongs to a Marine.
TONY: How can you tell from a leg?
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. ALLEY – DAY
GIBBS: Gibbs. NCIS.
DAWSON: How do.
GIBBS: Is this how you found the leg?
DAWSON: Yes, Sir. Mister Green found it in that dumpster. When he realized what he was holding, he tossed it to get rid of it. Landed here. Kind of funny, ain’t it?
GIBBS: What?
DAWSON: How it landed. Like it was climbing the stairs.
GIBBS: You think finding the severed leg of a Marine is funny?
DAWSON: No, Sir. No, Sir, I don’t.
GIBBS: Find the rest of the body?
DAWSON: Not yet. Local Chief of Police has his boys checking all the dumpsters and the town garbage pit. Well, I’ll leave you all to it.
GIBBS: Tony, laser and sketch.
TONY: Got it.
GIBBS: Kate, take photos.
KATE: Yeah.
GIBBS: What have we got here, Duck, other than the obvious?
DUCKY: Well, with the absence of hemorrhagic tissue at the point of injury, I’d say the limb was severed post mortem.
GIBBS: Time of death?
DUCKY: From a leg?! I’ll tell you what, Gibbs. You find me a liver in that leg, and I’ll estimate you a time of death.
KATE: What’s that wedged in the sole?
DUCKY: From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow. There’s not much more for me to do here. I saw a great antique store around the corner. Give me a shout if you need me.
GIBBS: (SHOUTS) Ducky! (BEAT) I need you here.
DUCKY: Jethro, I refuse to speculate on the time of death of the Marine missing that leg. However, I will tell you that the limb itself has been dead more than… no, less than twenty four hours.
GIBBS: I’ll shout if I need you.
(GIBBS WALKS TO THE TRUCK)
GIBBS: Did you find the boot?
GREEN: I was just looking for junk. Stuff people throw out.
GIBBS: Like a boot?
GREEN: Yep. No law against taking stuff folks thrown out. Why are you puttin’ on rubber gloves?
GIBBS: We’re going to need your prints.
GREEN: For what?
GIBBS: To separate them from those we find on the leg.
GREEN: You can take fingerprints off a leg?
TONY: I don’t get the whole tattoo thing.
KATE: I’ll add that to the ever-growing list of things you don’t get.
TONY: Being stuck with a needle thousands of times for a piece of artwork. No, thank you.
KATE: It’s more than just artwork, Tony.
TONY: On a woman, maybe.
KATE: What?
TONY: You know, on a woman? It means she’s up for anything.
KATE: Abby’s got tattoos.
TONY: (CHUCKLES) No comment.
KATE: Well, what about me? You think I’m up for anything?
TONY: You don’t have a tat.
KATE: And if I did, that would just blow your theory to hell now, wouldn’t it?
TONY: Okay, say for a minute I believe you’ve got one. Where is it?
KATE: Nowhere you will ever see.
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS LAB – DAY
DUCKY: Ah, necessity, the mother of invention. I suspect the inventors of Super Glue never imagined that when heated up and applied to surfaces in gaseous forms, its bonding capabilities would enable us to obtain fingerprints from a human leg.
ABBY: I like that commercial where the guy puts Super Glue on his hardhat and then glued his head to the beam and hung there. I tried that with my little brother.
DUCKY: I sense this anecdote doesn’t have a storybook ending.
ABBY: It does if you like your stories to end with bald seven year olds. He still gets mad when I call him Kojak.
(PASSAGE OF TIME)
ABBY: So I pulled a partial off our leg that isn’t the junk collector’s. Could be the victim’s.
GIBBS: Run it through the military database.
ABBY: So any other body parts show up?
GIBBS: No.
ABBY: Isn’t that a little bit hinky?
GIBBS: It’s more than a bit. All we’ve got is a tattooed leg, a sock and a boot.
ABBY: You’re forgetting about our interesting little bit of botanical evidence.
GIBBS: Oh, yeah. That. Yeah. Well, I want the life history; family, where it grew up.
ABBY: College transcripts? I know.
GIBBS: Yeah.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
(DOOR SLIDES OPEN)
DUCKY: Our victim had a titanium ankle joint which I’m about to remove.
GIBBS: Too young for arthritis.
DUCKY: Yeah. It was most likely due to an accident; auto, motorcycle, skiing.
TONY: Polo. Polo is a very dangerous sport.
DUCKY: Yes, the joint will have a serial number traceable to the doctor who performed the surgery.
GIBBS: Anything else?
DUCKY: Well, as I suspected, our Marine was dismembered postmortem. The jagged teeth pattern on the femur bone suggests that a saw was used.
TONY: Ouch!
DUCKY: Well he didn’t feel it, Tony.
TONY: It still makes me wince.
DUCKY: Well, given how straight and clean the cut was, it was almost certainly some kind of power saw. I wonder if they still have the Eurail pass. Yeah. In the summer of my eighteenth year, my grandfather gave me a Eurail pass to celebrate my advancement to University. I traveled to nine different countries. Met an Austrian girl named Giselle, who left her fingerprints on my heart, visited all the major museums of Europe. The artwork was extraordinary. Da Vinci, Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Renoir, Botticelli…
(DRAWER SLIDES OPEN)
TONY: I like saying Botticelli.
DUCKY: And that brings me to Christy Brown, the Irish poet and painter. Yes, he suffered from cerebral palsy. Learned to paint with his foot. Quite remarkable. He wrote an autobiography, “My Left Foot,” which became an exceptional film starring Daniel Day Lewis.
GIBBS: That’s a right foot.
DUCKY: Oh, so it is. Oh, well.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
KATE: (INTO PHONE) Serial number of the ankle joint is three two seven four zero one five. I’ll hold. (TO TONY) Doing something case related?
TONY: Joint replacement database site, targeting orthopedic specialists, search referenced to hospital privileges and surgical records.
KATE: All right, DiNozzo.
TONY: (BEAT) Is it on your butt?
KATE: I told you, I was kidding.
TONY: You only said you were kidding because you were embarrassed you told me.
KATE: I don’t have a tattoo.
TONY: It’s a butterfly, isn’t it? You seem like a butterfly kind of girl.
KATE: Yeah, it’s a butterfly. On my hip. (INTO PHONE) Oh, yes. I’m still here. Mm-hmm. Thank you. (HANGS UP PHONE) (TO TONY) The manufacturer shipped our Marine’s titanium ankle to the Naval hospital in Bethesda in ninety nine.
(SFX: KEYBOARDING)
TONY: It was signed for by Captain Brent Peters. May fourteenth, two thousand.
KATE: I’ll call Gibbs.
TONY: It’s not a butterfly, is it?
CUT TO:
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
PETERS: I remember that surgery. We usually fuse the ankle and implant a metal splint in our young servicemen. But his ankle was literally crushed in an auto wreck. May of two thousand, you said? (SFX: KEYBOARDING B.G.)
GIBBS: According to our research.
PETERS: Here it is. May fifteenth, two thousand. I implanted that ankle in Marine Private First Class Thomas Dorn.
GIBBS: What can you tell me about him?
PETERS: I can tell you a lot about his ankle. I don’t even remember the rest of him.
GIBBS: Seems to be a recurring problem.
PETERS: The ankle?
GIBBS: No, the rest of him. His leg was found in a Clarksburg, West Virginia, trash bin early this morning.
PETERS: Just the leg?
GIBBS: So far.
PETERS: How deteriorated was the leg?
GIBBS: It wasn’t. The M.E. estimated he died within the previous twenty four hours. (BEAT) Is there a problem?
PETERS: According to his military record, P-F-C Dorn died two years ago.
(CUT TO BLACK)
FADE IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
TONY: P-F-C Dorn’s service record. He was only in the Corps eleven months before the accident. He was about to get a medical discharge when he died.
KATE: Got the death certificate signed by a Doctor Silvia Chalmers in Harmony, West Virginia.
TONY: Harmony?
KATE: Yeah, population sixteen hundred. Sounds cute, doesn’t it?
GIBBS: Cause of death myocardial infarction. Heart attack at twenty two?
KATE: As Abby would say… pretty hinky.
TONY: I do believe the die is cast, however. If your parents and grandparents live to be old, so will you.
GIBBS: I had an aunt who died at seven.
TONY: It’s just a theory.
GIBBS: Where’s the autopsy report?
KATE: There isn’t one.
GIBBS: You mean you didn’t find it.
KATE: No. I mean no autopsy. The doctor signed a death certificate but that was it.
TONY: Small towns. You can get away with murder.
GIBBS: The hell you can! You find the doctor in Harmony. Why there was no autopsy report. Find out where this body is buried. You get a court order to dig up P-F-C Dorn and you have that body shipped back here to Ducky.
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS LAB – DAY
DUCKY: Abby!
ABBY: Ducky!
DUCKY: Find anything?
ABBY: Nothing yet. I’ll tell you one thing, though, this guy had huge feet. I could wear his sock as a leg warmer.
DUCKY: What are you implying, Abby?
ABBY: I’m not implying anything. You know what they say about guys with big hands and big feet, right?
DUCKY: What?
ABBY: They’re clowns.
(DUCKY CHUCKLES)
ABBY: Oh, I got something.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR – MOVING
TONY: What are you so happy about?
KATE: I’m just looking forward to Harmony.
TONY: Do you really like small towns?
KATE: Peace and quiet. A place where people know you by name. No Blockbuster or Starbucks on every corner. What’s not to like?
TONY: It’s too quiet. Everybody knows your name. There’s no Blockbusters or Starbucks on every corner.
KATE: A big city just can’t give you what small towns can, Tony. It’s a simpler way of life. A slice of Americana.
TONY: Hmm. One that doesn’t include fifty yard line seats to the Redskins or women with full sets of teeth.
KATE: Yeah, it always comes back to that, doesn’t it?
TONY: See? You do get me.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
ABBY: Hey Gibbs, I ran the partial we pulled off the leg through the military database.
GIBBS: Yeah.
ABBY: No match. But I did find a piece of straw on the sock.
GIBBS: What kind?
ABBY: The hay kind. Just your regular basic straw. Sorry.
GIBBS: Thanks, Abs.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
KATE: This is just how I pictured it.
TONY: This is just how I pictured it.
(DOOR OPENS)
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
(SFX: WINDOW SLIDES OPEN)
DARLENE: Can I help you?
TONY: I’m sure you can. I’m Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS. You can call me Tony. We’d like to talk to Doctor Chalmers. Uh… Darlene.
DARLENE: Okay.
KATE: Why don’t you just give her a breast exam?
TONY: In good time.
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS LAB – DAY
ABBY: Our seed matured and fell in late fall. It comes from a monoecious yellow flower. Not too showy. The male and female appearing in March to April in separate spherical hems. The leaf is palmately veined, it’s four to eight inches wide, ovate in shape and has three to five lobes.
GIBBS: Abby, are we ever going to get to the tree?
ABBY: Platanus occidentalis. Or more commonly known as…
GIBBS: A sycamore tree.
ABBY: I’m afraid so.
GIBBS: Pretty much grow everywhere, don’t they?
ABBY: Yep.
CHALMERS: (V.O.) It was a tragedy.
CUT TO:
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
CHALMERS: He was such a nice looking young Marine.
KATE: Had you met him before?
CHALMERS: No. No, he didn’t live around here.
TONY: Just walked in?
CHALMERS: Well I was the only doctor for forty miles at the time.
TONY: Doctor Burger on the sign – is he a new addition?
CHALMERS: He’s buying out my practice. I still see some of the older patients who don’t trust a young doctor. He’s only thirty seven.
KATE: Hmmm… and who brought PFC Dorn into your office?
CHALMERS: I believe he just walked in. Thelma could have told you. Thelma Bowman, my nurse. She died last summer. Stroke. We were together, doctor and nurse, for nearly thirty years.
KATE: I’m sorry.
CHALMERS: So am I. You saw that young thing Doctor Burger hired to replace her.
TONY: Sure did.
KATE: I’m sorry, go on.
CHALMERS: Well, Thelma brought this young Marine into my office, set him right down there in that chair. He couldn’t catch his breath. He was suffering extreme chest pains. Classic heart attack symptoms.
TONY: Why didn’t Thelma just take him to an examination room?
CHALMERS: Well, we only had one and let’s see… I think the Thomas twins was in there with the measles. Well anyway, before I could get up from this chair… he’d collapsed right where you’re standing now. And I administered CPR while Thelma called County looking for the ambulance, only it was over at a car accident way out in Turtle Creek.
TONY: The county only has one ambulance?
CHALMERS: You’ve never lived in a small county, have you, son?
TONY: Fortunately, no.
CHALMERS: Well, it has its compensations. Anyway, by the time the ambulance got here, young Dorn had expired.
KATE: Why didn’t the coroner do an autopsy?
CHALMERS: Well I…I didn’t feel there was a need to.
TONY: You’re the coroner?
CHALMERS: I was. It’s pro bono work. Doctor Burger’s coroner now. I did do a blood test and found elevated levels of cardiac enzymes. That and his symptoms seemed sufficient.
KATE: Not anymore. We’re getting a court order to exhume the body.
CHALMERS: Oh, my. I’m afraid that’s going to be impossible.
KATE: You had him cremated?
CHALMERS: No, I didn’t. His sister did. She was so upset when she identified the body. She didn’t have the money to ship him home and she wanted to scatter his ashes over the Blue Ridge Mountains. I told her I really should do an autopsy, but she was so distraught over the… the thought of him being cut up.
KATE: You let her talk you out of it?
CHALMERS: Oh, I have known the pain of loss. I‘m afraid I let hers affect me more than it should have, professionally. That never happened to me in all my years as a doctor. That was when I decided it was time to retire and sell my practice.
TONY: Do you recognize this Marine?
CHALMERS: No I don’t. Why, should I?
TONY: He’s PFC Thomas Dorn.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. DOCTOR’S BUILDING – DAY
(DOOR OPENS)
KATE: What are you thinking?
TONY: Estee Lauder.
KATE: The perfume? (DOOR CLOSES)
TONY: She was wearing it. Older ladies seem to like it. Had an ex-girlfriend who used it.
KATE: Is that why she’s an ex-girlfriend?
TONY: Exactly. How does a sister misidentify her brother?
KATE: She doesn’t.
TONY: Are we going to have to report the autopsy screw up?
KATE: Oh, do I detect a soft heart thing happening here?
TONY: That’s it, isn’t it? The tattoo’s a heart.
KATE: We’re back on that again.
TONY: I just can’t imagine you getting a tattoo, that’s all.
KATE: I was drunk.
TONY: I can’t imagine you drunk either.
(KATE AND TONY CLIMB INTO THE CAR)
(CAR DOORS OPEN/CLOSE)
CUT TO:
INT. CAR – DAY
TONY: So if it’s not a heart…
KATE: It’s a rose. On my butt. Can we move on now?
TONY: Sure.
KATE: So we are done with this then?
TONY: We are done.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET – DAY
TONY: (V.O.) Kate, which cheek is it on?
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM
GIBBS: What killed him?
ABBY: Digitalis.
GIBBS: The heart medication?
ABBY: Yep. The tox level in Dorn’s leg alone was enough to kill a bull.
GIBBS: Would an overdose give the symptoms of a heart attack?
ABBY: Not just the symptoms. Oh, okay! So you think our leg and that Marine that died two years ago of a heart attack are tied together.
GIBBS: I do not believe in coincidences.
ABBY: What about that rock formation on the moon that looks like Jay Lenos’ chin?
TONY: It’s perfectly normal.
KATE: On a race track maybe.
TONY: Women will never understand taking a car ride and trying to beat your best time.
ABBY: I hate it when men do that.
TONY: See, it’s just a woman thing.
GIBBS: How’d you do?
TONY: Pretty good. I beat my time by four minutes including construction detours.
GIBBS: In Harmony.
TONY: Oh. Ahh…Doc Chalmers is a very sweet little old lady who unfortunately also happens to be the local coroner. Small town, Boss. Small town.
KATE: A woman claiming to be Dorn’s sister I.D.’d the body and then conned her into skipping the autopsy and cremating the body.
ABBY: Cremation. It’s a dead end. (BEAT) What?
GIBBS: This woman must be some sweet talker.
KATE: Well, it’s more Doctor Chalmers is a very connable little old lady.
TONY: Probably gets her roof shingled and driveway tarred every year.
GIBBS: Does Dorn even have a sister?
KATE: His military file indicates his only living relative is a half sister, Melissa Dorn.
GIBBS: You put a trace on her?
KATE: Well, I did the best I can balancing my laptop while pulling five G turns.
TONY: Ha! That’s an exaggeration, Boss. I mean, maybe three G’s once.
KATE: Ten Mill Road, Comus, Maryland.
GIBBS: Keys.
TONY: What? I can’t drive ‘cause Kate’s chicken?
KATE: I’m not a chicken.
GIBBS: You can’t drive ‘cause you’re not going.
TONY: Oh, that’s different. Where am I going?
GIBBS: You’re doing a background check on Melissa Dorn. Kate, are you coming?
TONY: Abs, do you know where Kate has her tat?
ABBY: Yeah.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. HOUSE – DAY
(CAR BRAKES TO A STOP)
GIBBS: Watch her body language.
KATE: What are we looking for, short of a confession?
GIBBS: Sometimes it’s not what they say, it’s what they don’t say.
KATE: Which translates into, we don’t have a search warrant and this is the easiest way in.
(CAR DOORS OPEN/CLOSE)
KATE: What’s wrong?
GIBBS: You know what kind of tree this is?
KATE: Botany was my weakest subject.
GIBBS: Sycamore.
(MUSIC OUT)
FADE IN:
INT. MELISSA DORN’S HOUSE – DAY
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
MELISSA: Hi. Can I help you?
GIBBS: You already have.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
(SFX: CLOCK CHIMES B.G.)
MELISSA: You would have liked Howard. He was the life of the party.
KATE: He was your half brother.
MELISSA: Yeah. We were raised by our father. Do you have any brothers and sisters?
GIBBS: No.
MELISSA: An only child? I figured as much.
GIBBS: Hmm. How so?
MELISSA: You have all the classic traits of a first born; confident, and pays attention to detail, perfectionist, difficulty sharing.
GIBBS: Guilty, guilty, guilty. Depends.
MELISSA: Hmm. So why the visit after two years?
KATE: We’re working on another case. There might be a tenuous connection.
MELISSA: How can I help?
KATE: Do you have any of your brother’s personal effects?
KATE: Anything that I didn’t donate I threw away. It would’ve made me sad. Oh, where are my manners? Would you like some coffee?
GIBBS: Oh, yeah, I’d love some coffee.
KATE: None for me, thanks.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
GIBBS: This may be the cleanest kitchen I’ve ever seen.
MELISSA: Well that’s because it’s never been used.
GIBBS: You’re not the domestic type, huh?
MELISSA: I eat over the sink so I don’t have plates to wash.
GIBBS: Do you even have plates?
MELISSA: Paper.
GIBBS: This is a big house for one person.
MELISSA: And two cats. Do you like cats?
GIBBS: They don’t like me.
MELISSA: How can you tell?
GIBBS: By the way they look at me.
MELISSA: I hate to break it to you, but cats only have one expression.
GIBBS: Hmm. Thank you.
MELISSA: You should actually try it before you thank me.
GIBBS: Yeah, it’s perfect. Thank you.
MELISSA: Really?
(MELISSA SIPS GIBBS’ CUP)
MELISSA: You’re right.
GIBBS: I like your tattoo.
MELISSA: It means…
GIBBS: Peace, health, prosperity.
MELISSA: You know Chinese. Any other hidden talents I should know about?
GIBBS: I can sample the frosting on a cake without leaving a fingerprint.
MELISSA: Wow! This is um… going to sound terrible, but… I hope whatever you’re investigating is… is tied to Tom.
GIBBS: Why?
MELISSA: Then I wouldn’t need to make up an excuse to see you.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. DORN HOUSE – DAY
KATE: You weren’t buying any of that, were you?
GIBBS: Any of what?
KATE: You know, her charm.
GIBBS: Is it really that hard to believe, Kate, that I might be attractive to a woman?
KATE: That’s not what I meant.
GIBBS: Did you find us anything that’ll get us a search warrant?
KATE: Well, she told you that she lives alone, but the toilet seat was up in the downstairs bathroom.
GIBBS: Oh, you can tell that one to the judge.
KATE: Okay, well Abby found a piece of straw in Dorn’s sock and there is a barn around the back. (BEAT) Okay, I found nothing to give us probable cause.
GIBBS: Maybe I did.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
GIBBS: Question, can you match DNA from trees like you can with humans?
ABBY: Absolutely. Plant DNA, like human DNA, is unique to each plant, so you can distinguish one sycamore tree from another.
GIBBS: Abby, try matching these to the seed we found in Dorn’s boot.
ABBY: Is the other sample from another location?
GIBBS: No, same tree.
ABBY: So you want me to run the test twice?
GIBBS: Yeah. How long before you have something on both samples?
ABBY: Depends on whether or not you want it fast or you want it right.
GIBBS: Both.
ABBY: Both. Hmm… four…seven… divided by… six hours.
GIBBS: Clock’s ticking, Abs.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
TONY: Six letter word for a reason to commit a crime? Come on, don’t tense up. Starts with M.
KATE: Murder.
TONY: No. Motive.
KATE: Murder is a motive.
GIBBS: What do you have?
TONY: Six letter word for reason to commit crime.
GIBBS: DiNozzo.
TONY: That’s seven letters.
GIBBS: Works for me. What do you got?
TONY: PFC Dorn purchased a term policy for three quarters of a million two months before his heart attack in Harmony. The beneficiary is his only living relative…
KATE: His half sister Melissa. She and Dorn fed some sucker digitalis and dropped him off in Harmony.
TONY: Harmony – a small crappy town where she identifies the sucker as her brother, cons the old lady coroner with crocodile tears into cremating the body and not performing an autopsy.
GIBBS: The insurance company paid the claim?
TONY: Sure did.
GIBBS: Get the name of the adjuster?
TONY: Stanley Gordon, Rexford Mutual, Baltimore.
GIBBS: Why are you two still here?
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. CAR – MOVING
TONY: Come on, Kate. You’re only going ten miles over the limit.
KATE: And that’s pushing it.
TONY: What good is it being an armed Federal agent if you can’t drive fast?
KATE: You get to shoot bad guys.
TONY: True.
KATE: You should have seen Gibbs with Melissa.
TONY: He threaten to shoot her?
KATE: No, just the opposite. He was flirting with her. I didn’t think he had it in him.
TONY: Well, he had it in him at some point. He has been married three times – all redheads.
KATE: Melissa’s a redhead.
TONY: ‘Explains it.
KATE: Well so is that woman who picks him up now and then. Who is she?
TONY: Not a clue.
KATE: So he could really be attracted to Melissa?
TONY: You can’t control who you’re attracted to. The whole Julia Roberts, Lyle Lovett thing proves that. Billy Joel, Christie Brinkley.
KATE: I get it.
TONY: Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton
KATE: You haven’t answered my question.
TONY: (OVERLAP) …That guy from the – if you’re asking me whether Gibbs would get involved with a murder suspect, the answer is no.
KATE: Three redheaded ex-wives shows his judgment is a little questionable.
TONY: None of them were murder suspects.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. STREET – DAY
TONY: (V.O.) Although I don’t know about the redhead who picks him up now and then.
CUT TO:
INT. INSURANCE OFFICE – DAY
BORDEN: A twenty-two year old Marine buys a term life policy for seven hundred and fifty grand, then kicks two months later from a heart attack? (CHUCKLES) No way I wanted to pay that claim.
TONY: But you did.
BORDEN: I was overruled from upstairs.
KATE: Three quarter of a million dollar question. Why?
BORDEN: The sister threatened to sue. Juries get angry when insurance companies don’t pay, especially to the only survivor of a Marine injured while serving his county. They tend to award very large multimillion dollar payments as punishment.
KATE: Cheaper to pay her off.
BORDEN: Our form of insurance.
TONY: Did anything turn up in your investigation?
BORDEN: Nothing that would convince a jury.
TONY: Try us.
BORDEN: Okay. But you two think like her lawyer. Why’d he buy a big policy at such a young age and name a half-sister beneficiary?
TONY: Half sister or not, she was his only living relative. And why’d your salesman sell it to him if it was so unusual?
BORDEN: Why was he cremated before an autopsy could be performed, at his sister’s request?
KATE: Coroner thought an autopsy was unnecessary. Many people prefer cremation over tombs.
BORDEN: Do I need to go on?
TONY: No, but you made your point.
BORDEN: If you can prove this was a scam, we’ll recover something…if only satisfaction.
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS SQUAD ROOM – DAY
DUCKY: Six cups and it isn’t even noon.
GIBBS: Oh, Duck, this one’s bothering me.
DUCKY: So Abby said. You have her doing the same test twice.
GIBBS: Dorn’s leg shows up in a trash big. Tox screen shows digitalis, which is probably what he and or his sister gave the Marine in Harmony two years ago to pull off an insurance scam.
DUCKY: Sounds reasonable.
GIBBS: So who killed Dorn a few days ago? Why toss his leg into a trash bin? And why can’t we find the rest of his body?
DUCKY: I recall a case in the Forensic Journal where the only evidence was a thumb found in the coin return of a pay phone.
GIBBS: Yeah? And?
DUCKY: Well, that’s the only the part I remember.
GIBBS: Oh, Ducky, this is not helping me.
DUCKY: Well have you identified the body the sister claims was Dorn’s?
GIBBS: Cremated and spread over the Blue Ridge Mountains.
DUCKY: Oh, that does pose a problem.
GIBBS: Duck.
DUCKY: Hmm?
GIBBS: Who would you get to pose as a Marine?
DUCKY: You.
(GIBBS LAUGHS)
GIBBS: Yeah.
(GIBBS WALKS O.S.)
DUCKY: Well, I would.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. NCIS LAB – DAY
ABBY: Match!
(SFX: BEEP TONES)
ABBY: It’s not from the same tree.
(MUSIC OUT)
FADE IN:
EXT. ARMORED UNIT – DAY
GUNNY VESTA: The manual says it takes three minutes to change a tire on L-A-V Twenty Five. The manual is written by an Army pogue. I say Marines can do it in less than two. What do you way?
MARINES: Ooorah!
GUNNY VESTA: Make it happen.
GIBBS: Gunny Vesta. Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS.
GUNNY VESTA: I recall an M.P. Gibbs at Lejeune. Long time ago.
GIBBS: Could be.
GUNNY VESTA: He was high and tight.
GIBBS: Not exactly long and shaggy, Gunny.
GUNNY VESTA: Seen sheep dogs shorter.
GIBBS: Don’t recall you.
GUNNY VESTA: Court Street. J-ville.
GIBBS: I broke up a lot of brawls there.
GUNNY VESTA: Yeah, I was one of them. Got me a week in the brig.
GIBBS: Gonna hold that against me?
GUNNY VESTA: Naw. You was one of the better prison chasers. You gave us smoke breaks on our work detail. That’s why I remember you. (SHOUTS) Forty five seconds! How can I help you, Gibbs?
GIBBS: PVC Thomas Dorn.
GUNNY VESTA: Ain’t heard that sandbagger’s name since he O.D.ed a couple years ago.
GIBBS: Death certificate says heart attack.
GUNNY VESTA: Coke induced, I’ll bet.
GIBBS: If he was a cokehead, why didn’t you boot his butt out?
GUNNY VESTA: Car accident beat me to it.
GIBBS: He have any buds?
GUNNY VESTA: A couple. He was tight with a Corporal Morgan. He went U-A same time Dorn kicked.
GIBBS: But you never found him, right?
GUNNY VESTA: Not that I heard of. Probably holed up in some backwater-ville with that redhead they used to run with.
GIBBS: Melissa.
GUNNY VESTA: Yeah, that’s her name. She was a fox. And both Dorn and Morgan were shacking up with her. You know her?
GIBBS: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know her. She’s Dorn’s half sister.
GUNNY VESTA: She didn’t act like no sister. (SHOUTS) Minute thirty! Why are you asking about this now?
GIBBS: Dorn’s leg was found deep sixed in a dumpster two days ago.
GUNNY VESTA: Two days? Some ghoul dig him up?
GIBBS: No. He had boucoup life insurance. From what you just told me, it looks like he and Melissa killed Corporal Morgan, she identified the body as Dorn, cremated him, and claimed the insurance.
GUNNY VESTA: (BEAT) Who killed Dorn?
GIBBS: Well, foxy lady may be a black widow.
MARINES: (SHOUT) Ooorah!
GUNNY VESTA: You want to tell them?
GIBBS: (LONG BEAT) Ooorah!
MARINES: (SHOUT) Ooorah!
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS LAB – DAY
GIBBS: Hey, what’s wrong?
ABBY: Look at it.
GIBBS: It looks like a match.
ABBY: Precisely.
GIBBS: Good work, Abby.
ABBY: No it’s not! You gave me two samples from the same tree. “B” matched and “A” didn’t. I screwed up!
GIBBS: Sycamore “A” was from a tree down the street.
ABBY: What?!
GIBBS: The idea of matching plant DNA was a bit hinky for me.
ABBY: Oh ye of little faith.
GIBBS: Abby, come on. All I did was give you a blind test.
ABBY: Well, you could have done that by not telling me which sample came from the suspect’s sycamore.
GIBBS: I didn’t think of that.
ABBY: Oh!
GIBBS: This puts Dorn at Melissa’s house. Do you know what that means?
ABBY: You’ve got probable cause.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. MELISSA DORN’S HOUSE – DAY
GIBBS: Tony you take the barn. Kate, you got the house. (VAN DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
KATE: What’re you gonna take? That didn’t come out right. Not what I meant.
GIBBS: Yeah, I know what you meant. (CAR DOORS OPEN/CLOSE)
CUT TO:
INT. MELISSA DORN’S HOUSE – DAY
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
MELISSA: Well, was my coffee that good?
GIBBS: We’re here to execute a search warrant.
MELISSA: For what? My brother died two years ago. His body was cremated.
(DOOR CLOSES)
GIBBS: Don’t you mean it was Corporal Morgan’s body that was cremated?
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. BARN – DAY
TONY: This has to be the cleanest barn ever. If she uses a service, I’ve got to have that number.
(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENES OF THE BODY)
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
MELISSA: I really don’t know what you think you’re going to find here. Why do you keep staring at me? I could never have killed Tommy. I loved him!
GIBBS: A Gunny who knew both of you told me the same thing. Funny, though, he didn’t know that you were brother and sister.
CUT TO:
INT. BARN – DAY
(MUSIC OVER ACTION)
(SFX: STATIC BEEP TONES)
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM
GIBBS: Looks like you could use a glass of water.
(GIBBS GETS WATER FROM THE KITCHEN)
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/MELISSA SIPS THE WATER)
GIBBS: (TO KATE) Thank you. Have Abby compare her prints with those on her brother’s leg.
(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)
TONY: Blood on the floor. Nicks in the concrete. Looks like they were made by a power saw. That’s got to be where she did her slicing and dicing.
(TONY LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM AND PULLS OUT HIS GUN)
GIBBS: (BEAT) What?
TONY: There’s someone else.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY WALKS UP STAIRS AND INTO THE BEDROOM)
(DOORS OPEN)
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
KATE: Who else is here? Who else is here?
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY AND GIBBS MOVE INTO THE BEDROOM)
TONY: Boss, I’d like you to meet Doctor Sylvia Chalmers who loves Estee Lauder.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM
KATE: Doctor Chalmers!
CHALMERS: Good afternoon, Agent Todd!
KATE: You were in on it!
CHALMERS: In on what, my dear?
MELISSA: They know, Momma.
TONY AND KATE: (IN UNISON) Momma?
CHALMERS: They didn’t know I was your momma ‘till you told them, dear. I know I should have told you all back in Harmony, but the mother in me had to protect my only child. It was wrong, I know that. But her wicked half-brother intimidated her into defrauding an insurance company when his friend had a heart attack.
GIBBS: Brought on by an overdose of digitalis.
CHALMERS: Well what in the world would make you think that? Couldn’t be from a forensic test. Melissa had his body cremated.
GIBBS: Hey, notice how it’s all you, Melissa?
CHALMERS: A Marine has a heart attack in my office. Melissa identifies him as her half-brother… who I’ve never met. Now how am I involved?
MELISSA: Mother!
CHALMERS: Melissa. You defrauded an insurance company. I’m afraid you’re going to have to take your punishment for that…and only that.
GIBBS: Boy, oh boy, you are good. But so are we. We found your digitalis in Thomas Dorn’s leg.
CHALMERS: My digitalis?! Every doctor and hospital in this country uses digitalis.
GIBBS: Each order has its own chemical marker. How else would a manufacturer recall a specific batch in a quality control problem?
MELISSA: You shouldn’t have done it, Mama.
CHALMERS: Calm yourself, Melissa. Just calm yourself. They can only prove that you defrauded an insurance company.
MELISSA: No, Mama. They can prove everything. They know you killed him with digitalis. They know you cut up Tommy into little pieces and they know you threw him away in the garbage--
(CHALMERS HITS MELISSA)
CHALMERS: (SHOUTS) Stop! She’s just hysterical. You can’t use any of this in court.
GIBBS: She was read her rights. She waived them. We can use it all. We will.
CHALMERS: You little fool. They couldn’t prove anything.
MELISSA: I don’t care anymore, Mama. I loved Tommy and you murdered him.
(MELISSA SOBS B.G.)
CUT TO:
INT. NCIS SQUAD ROOM – DAY
TONY: They just found the left arm in the garbage dump at Chiefton.
KATE: So where does that leave us?
TONY: That’s a right arm from Katy Lick, a torso from Marshville and the original leg from the dumpster in Clarksburg.
KATE: Still no head or left leg?
TONY: Well, which I’m betting are going to be turning up around Lake Floyd or Jarvisville.
ABBY: Did you check Hooterville?
TONY: Where’s Hooterville?
ABBY: You guys, Petty Coat Junction. Green Acres. Hooterville.
TONY: I prefer TV shows from this century.
ABBY: Oh come on, they’re hilarious! When we were in college we had this drinking game and the drugs collect in a solvent layer and that leaves only proteins and biological material behind.
TONY: Huh?
KATE: That’s great, Abby. I’ll make sure to get that in the report.
TONY: What report?
GIBBS: We’ve got Humpty Dumpty back together?
KATE: Most of him.
TONY: Melon and left leg are still outstanding.
GIBBS: Any more tattoos?
TONY: Just the rose on Kate’s butt.
GIBBS: It’s not a rose.
KATE: (BEAT) He doesn’t know. He’s lying just like he did about the digitalis. Okay, tell them. Gibbs?
(MUSIC OUT)
(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)
* * * * * * * *
Prepared by C.C. Printed in USA
Calvert Continuities Aired 2/3/04
