MUSIC IN:
INT. CARR BEDROOM – NIGHT
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/JAMIE ACTS IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA)
CUT TO:
INT. CUBICLE – NIGHT
(ON MONITOR) Can’t you take it all off?
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/JAMIE CONTINUES DANCING)
JAMIE CARR: Be patient, boys.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION)
CUT TO:
INT. CUBICLE – NIGHT
(ON MONITOR) Rain! Look behind you!…Turn around --
CUT TO:
JAMIE: (SCREAMS) Ach --
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/JAMIE STRUGGLES WITH THE INTRUDER)
(MUSIC UP AND OUT)
(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLES/ SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)
FADE IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
“THE VOYEUR’S WEB”
TONY: (INTO PHONE) Now listen, sweetheart, I need a table on the terrace for Friday at nine o’clock. It’s not negotiable. Tell Valentino it’s Agent DiNozzo, we’re friends. (IN ITALIAN) Grazie, mi amore. Ciao.
MCGEE: Valentino’s, huh? Must be a special occasion.
TONY: I’m taking Monica for her birthday.
MCGEE: You know, I know a great place in Georgetown. Just as romantic, half the price.
TONY: That’s a good idea, Probie, but Monica’s not exactly the Applebee’s type.
MCGEE: I’ve never seen you like this, Tony. You must really like this girl.
TONY: Well, she’s got the whole package; beauty, class, sophistication. All that’s left is to decide on the perfect gift.
ZIVA: I thought you gave all your girls Honey Dust?
TONY: How do you….? Probie, something you want to tell me?
MCGEE: It’s not my fault.
ZIVA: Don’t be embarrassed, Tony. I find the taste of Honey Dust to be extremely erotic.
TONY: What a coincidence, so do I.
GIBBS: I don’t. Gear up. We’re heading to Dumfries. A corporal’s wife is missing. Local police think she may have been abducted.
TONY: What did I tell you about telling her about my personal life?
MCGEE: I’m sorry. She tricked me again.
TONY: Hey, next time, why don’t you tell her how I lost my virginity?
ZIVA: I’ve been meaning to ask you about that, Tony. How does a fifteen year old boy go about meeting a coquette?
MCGEE: She means Rockette, boss.
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE CLOSED)
CUT TO:
EXT. HOUSE – DAY
(SFX: SIREN)
ZIVA: Where did all these people come from?
TONY: Didn’t you see the signs? It’s yard sale day.
ZIVA: I see. And do Marines sell their yards often?
MCGEE: No, it’s actually when people gather stuff they don’t want anymore, and sell it in their yards.
ZIVA: Why would anyone want to buy somebody else’s junk?
TONY: One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.
ZIVA: In Israel, we have a saying. “Zevel Ze Zevel.” Crap is crap.
GIBBS: Her name is Jamie Carr. Police got a call from the next door neighbor. No one’s seen her in two weeks.
ZIVA: Why are they assuming abduction?
GIBBS: Back door’s kicked in. McGee, you take the perimeter.
MCGEE: On it.
GIBBS: Ziva, check with the neighbor who called it in. Tony, you’re with me.
ZIVA: Is there a reason I’m always the one taking statements?
TONY: Obviously you’re good at getting people to talk.
ZIVA: Don’t blame McGee. I was merely being curious.
TONY: About my sex life?
ZIVA: About American customs. Some of the men I’ve been meeting seem to be a little, how you say, uptight?
TONY: Define uptight--
GIBBS: Today, DiNozzo!
TONY: On your six, Boss!
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
(DOOR OPENS)
TONY: Ooh, I feel like I just walked into page eight of the IKEA catalog. Used to shop there when I was in college. Really reasonable prices.
GIBBS: Get to work, DiNozzo.
TONY: Yeah (BEAT) I take it the husband’s deployed.
GIBBS: Iraq. Six months into his second tour.
TONY: They bringing him home?
GIBBS: Depends what we find here.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
GIBBS: DiNozzo, have McGee break out the Luminol.
TONY: You got blood?
GIBBS: Someone decided to clean up a twelve inch spot on this carpet. What do you think?
CUT TO:
EXT. YARD – DAY
BART: You need to relax your eyes. It’s a hidden three-D picture. If you look at it just right, a palm tree appears.
ZIVA: I think it is broken.
BART: Hey, I’m watching you guys! Kids from down the street. They’ve got sticky fingers.
ZIVA: Tell me about Mrs. Carr.
BART: Oh, she pretty much keeps to herself. Never really clicked with the rest of the wives.
ZIVA: Are you in the military, Mister Powell?
BART: No, my wife is. She’s a Staff Sergeant in the Corps.
ZIVA: Deployed?
BART: Yeah, to Wal-mart. She should be back in about an hour or so.
ZIVA: What do you do?
BART: Well, Corps takes up most of my wife’s time, so I take care of the kids and the house.
ZIVA: You are a domesticated house husband?
BART: Well, I never heard it put quite like that, but yeah, I suppose I am.
ZIVA: Is crime a problem around here?
BART: Are you kidding? It’s a Marine neighborhood. We have no crime.
ZIVA: I wouldn’t say that. You’re about to get robbed. Have your wife give me a call.
BOY: (V.O.) Come on, get out of here!
BOY TWO: (V.O.) Run!
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
TONY: Huh. So much for gone but not forgotten.
GIBBS: Husband’s away at war, DiNozzo. People cope in different ways.
TONY: She’s found at least one way to cope.
ZIVA: Careful. You could poke an eye out with that. Twist the end, Tony. Haviar Christian Number Five. It’s a perfume. Big in France.
TONY: Maybe that’s what I’ll get Monica for her birthday.
ZIVA: It’s two thousand dollars an ounce, Tony.
GIBBS: Sounds steep.
TONY: Yeah, she’s not really a perfume kind of gal.
GIBBS: I meant for a Corporal’s wife, DiNozzo.
TONY: I knew that.
MCGEE: I found some blood drops out back. Hidden underneath some bags of mulch. Looks consistent with a dragged body, boss.
GIBBS: Where exactly, McGee?
MCGEE: On the concrete patio. I taped-off the area.
ZIVA: Something wrong, McGee?
TONY: He’s fine. He’s just never been in a woman’s bedroom.
(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENES)
MCGEE: I’ve seen this room before.
(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENES)
MCGEE: In a video clip.
TONY: Like a porno?
MCGEE: No, a girlfriend is always e-mailing me these internet videos. She sent me one of this room last week.
TONY: Why do I find that hard to believe?
MCGEE: What, you never get forwarded weird videos to your e-mail?
TONY: All the time. I meant the part about you having a girlfriend.
MCGEE: This clip showed a woman supposedly being murdered live on the internet.
(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE)
ZIVA: Why didn’t you report it, McGee?
MCGEE: I um… assumed it was a hoax, a badly made snuff film.
TONY: You know what happens when you assume, McGee?
MCGEE: Yeah. Gibbs is going to kill me. Again.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
GIBBS: Doesn’t look like a hoax to me, McGee.
MCGEE: Boss, I’m sorry. It didn’t occur to me…
GIBBS: Abby, talk to me.
ABBY: I was analyzing the file, Gibbs. It’s compressed MPEG-Four, both fields are rendered using a Kodak that scales down the number of colors in….
GIBBS: In English, Abby.
ABBY: Well, from what I can tell, it looks like the image is real. There’s no signs of layered special effects or tampering. Sorry, McGee.
GIBBS: I want to know where it came from. You’ve got an hour.
MCGEE: Fine boss, I don’t need an hour. I scanned through Jamie’s hard drive. I found it. That is Jamie Carr, or “Rain,” on the right. Her webcam ran a direct feed into this website.
ABBY: She was running a sex site from her bedroom, Gibbs.
MCGEE: And her murder was recorded during a live session, and distributed throughout the net.
GIBBS: By who?
MCGEE: Anyone that could have been logged on to the site at the time. It could be hundreds of people.
ABBY: Or thousands, Gibbs. There’s a big market for desperate housewives performing behind closed doors. Some of these ladies got rich doing it.
GIBBS: Or dead, Abby. Who’s the other girl?
ABBY: Net name’s “Skyler.” She runs the site. I traced her webcam feed back to the same neighborhood as Jamie Carr.
MCGEE: It’s the residence of Sergeant Jake Roberts, also deployed in Iraq. His wife, Leanne, lives there alone.
GIBBS: Get the car.
MCGEE: You got it, Boss.
ABBY: You know, it’s not his fault, Gibbs. If we investigated every weird video on the internet, I mean, you know? Okay, you don’t, but trust me. Cyberspace is crammed full of all kinds of bizarre things. It’s a whole new world in there, Gibbs, and a lot of it ain’t pretty.
GIBBS: You can say the same thing about this one, Abs.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
MCGEE: I can’t believe I didn’t call it in.
TONY: Don’t beat yourself up, Probie. Same thing happened to me once.
MCGEE: Really? When?
TONY: Last month frat brother emailed me a video of a dachshund skateboarding. I was positive it was a fake. Then I turned on the TV a few nights ago, saw the exact same dog skateboarding on Letterman.
MCGEE: You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?
TONY: Probably not as much as you did when you told Ziva my life story.
GIBBS: There’s nobody home. Hasn’t been for a while. (SFX: GLASS BREAKS INSIDE)
CUT TO:
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
(SFX: DOOR BURSTS OPEN)
(MUSIC OVER ACTION)
(SFX: CATS SCREECH)
GIBBS: Clear!
MCGEE: Clear.
TONY: It’s going to be a long night, McGee.
(CUT TO BLACK)
MUSIC IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
GIBBS: We have two crime scenes, one website, zero bodies. I want some answers.
TONY: Jamie Carr, Leanne Roberts, started the “Naughty Naughty Neighbors” website nine months ago. The site has over two thousand members and records about fifty-thousand hits a day.
GIBBS: Is that a lot?
TONY: Well, let me give you some scope here. Playboy dot com five million hits a day. The official NCIS website… less than four hundred.
ZIVA: Which proves what I’ve long suspected. Despite the conservative image, Americans really love their porn. I mean, I was just saying basically that Americans…
GIBBS: Continue, DiNozzo.
TONY: When Naughty Naughty Neighbors debuted, it was nothing more than a couple girls in lingerie. Membership fee was nine bucks which is about average for this kind of content. As the clothes came off, the admission fee went up. And up. And up. Today the fee stands at twenty three ninety five which is kind of high. But platinum membership? We’re talking private chats and shows –they want forty five bucks a month. I mean, can anyone say rip off? (BEAT) What?
ZIVA: That’s a lot of research, Tony.
TONY: I’ve been working from home.
GIBBS: I want detailed profiles of anyone who’s ever been a member or is a member of that site.
TONY: That’s like thousands of people, Boss.
GIBBS: Then you better get started, huh?
ZIVA: You really believe this is an obsessed voyeur? The women’s identities were protected by masks.
GIBBS: Half a mask.
ZIVA: Still the odds of us finding him off a list that size are…
GIBBS: Are better than the odds of you winning this argument.
MCGEE: Good news, boss. Naughty Naughty Neighbors has a webmaster.
GIBBS: Web what?
MCGEE: Webmaster. It’s a person that is hired to design and update the page. His name is Carter Finch.
TONY: Is this guy like a Super Fly cyber pimp?
MCGEE: Not exactly. I just got off the phone with his mother. He lives in her basement.
TONY: Oh, that’s kind of depressing.
GIBBS: Tony, take Ziva with you. McGee, pull financial records on both women.
MCGEE: Already done. They both have joint accounts with their husbands. Neither has any indication of any additional income.
GIBBS: Profits?
MCGEE: Probably routed through a third party.
GIBBS: Oh, the page master?
MCGEE: Who?
GIBBS: This guy!?
MCGEE: Uh, yeah. Uh, no. Definitely not. No, he has less than two hundred dollars in his account. Been that way for the past year so the money could be anywhere. (LONG BEAT) I’m going to find it. I have no idea how.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
JIMMY: What are you doing, Doctor Mallard?
DUCKY: Performing an autopsy, Mister Palmer.
JIMMY: Shouldn’t we have a body?
DUCKY: Usually. Sometimes, however, one is forced to play the cards one is dealt. Often our greatest accomplishments come from our most trying moments.
JIMMY: Ninety seven NBA Finals. Jordan has food poisoning. Still hits the Jazz up for forty.
DUCKY: I was thinking of something with a little more historical significance. The landings at Normandy, for example.
JIMMY: Oh D-Day.
DUCKY: Yes. You know, the fighting went far beyond the beaches, lasted for weeks. My uncle was there, Major Monty Mallard. Yes, fatigued and injured, he turned to his troops and said…
GIBBS: The French wine in this particular region is terribly overrated.
DUCKY: Anyone would think you’d heard that story before.
GIBBS: What do you make of the video?
DUCKY: We’re dealing with an amateur. Anyone with any kind of training would have used far more pressure, making sure the trachea was severed.
GIBBS: She survive long, Duck?
DUCKY: Yeah, well a cut that shallow, the victim would go in and out of consciousness for several minutes. The poor girl died a slow and excruciating death.
CUT TO:
INT. BASEMENT – DAY
CARTER: This is the first I’ve heard about any snuff video. I just knew that Jamie was missing.
TONY: Not just Jamie. Leanne, too.
CARTER: Do you think it has something to do with the website?
TONY: Well, that would make sense now, wouldn’t it?
ZIVA: How did you not see the video? Don’t you run the site?
CARTER: Well, I maintain it, but I’m far too busy to watch all the content.
TONY: Well, I’ll bet you weren’t too busy to see the new Star Wars six times.
CARTER: Careful with that Wookiee. It’s a prototype from nineteen seventy eight.
TONY: Aren’t you a little too old for toys?
CARTER: These aren’t toys, they’re investments. There are only three seventy eight Wookiees equipped with an ammo belt, and I have one of them. You don’t even want to know how much it’s worth.
TONY: You’re right. I don’t.
CARTER: Six hundred bucks, but I’ll sell it for twice that online via Ultra Collectibles and Auctions-dot-com.
ZIVA: I see you are also saving money on rent.
CARTER: Uh, I can afford my own place. I just live here for my mom you know. She feels safer having me close by.
TONY: I’m sure you provide a high degree of protection.
ZIVA: Tell us about Jamie and Leanne.
CARTER: We’re business associates. I manage their website and in exchange, get paid a hundred dollars a week.
TONY: A hundred bucks? The site has over two thousand members. At twenty four bucks a pop, that’s like…
ZIVA: Forty eight thousand a month.
TONY: Yeah, that’s good. Sounds like the girls are ripping you off.
CARTER: It’s only one of several websites I’ve designed. I also do Dungeons and Demons, Buxom Bimbos, and Friends of Furries dot-org.
TONY: You designed Buxom Bimbos?
ZIVA: How did the three of you meet?
CARTER: Leanne always flirted with me when I delivered her paper. And one day I was talking about my website, and she asked about--
TONY: Back up a step there. You were a paperboy?
CARTER: I used to be a news distributor, okay? Paperboy is such an archaic term.
TONY: Nine year olds don’t mind it.
ZIVA: How did Jamie get involved?
CARTER: I guess she wanted to make some extra money. That’s one reason I’ll never get married.
(SFX: ZIVA LAUGHS)
TONY: I can think of a couple others.
ZIVA: When was the last time either of them contacted you?
CARTER: It’s been like a month. I mean, with a design like mine, the site pretty much runs itself.
TONY: (LAUGHING) Is your mother wondering why we’re here?
CARTER: I kind of told her this was for a job interview. (SFX: TONY LAUGHS ALOUD)
TONY: Ah, I’ll be in the car.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – NIGHT
GIBBS: What do you have, Abs?
ABBY: Um, a Ph D in porn. I spent the last six hours searching through webcam files trying to find some kind of lead. And I have consumed more porn than Tony has in his lifetime. Okay, maybe not, but I have watched a lot of smut.
GIBBS: You learn anything?
ABBY: I’m not nearly as flexible as I should be.
GIBBS: Anything about the case?
ABBY: Right. I was getting to that. I filtered through all of Jamie’s files, and I found the original feed of her murder.
GIBBS: This helps?
ABBY: That it does. By coordinating the original stream with the hard drive, I obtained the date and time that the file was written. I know when Jamie Carr was murdered! Eight days ago at nine p.m. To you that would be twenty-one hundred hours, Sir!
GIBBS: That’s good work, Abby.
(GIBBS WALKS O.S.)
ABBY: I do what I can. And as a reward, I will treat myself to more exciting girl-on-girl action.
CHARLES: (V.O.) Miss Sciuto.
ABBY: Whoa! Okay, that was quieter than Gibbs.
CHARLES: Oh, that’s my high-tech Model Fives. Yeah, they’re designed to dampen ambient sound.
ABBY: Nice shoes. Who are you?
CHARLES: Charles Sterling. Your new assistant, Ma'am.
ABBY: I did not order a new assistant.
CHARLES: Well, that’s strange. Human resources told me to report tonight.
ABBY: That’s great. I tell them that I do the work of ten people and I need a raise. And I get… this.
CHARLES: I don’t know about your raise, Ma'am, but I am a huge fan of your work. Journal of Forensic Sciences. “Deducting drop size and velocity from circular blood stains.”
ABBY: I did not know anyone actually read that.
CHARLES: Oh, yeah. Anytime I undertake a mission, I recon the situation so I can best adapt myself to the surroundings…. Ma'am.
ABBY: Okay, do me a favor, Chip?
CHARLES: It’s Charles, Ma'am.
ABBY: Charles.
CHARLES: Charles.
ABBY: Don’t call me Ma'am. It’s Abby. And can you just hang tight here for a second, ‘cause um… I need to make a short moustache – a quick….a quick phone call. I need to make a phone call. I’ll be right back.
CUT TO:
INT. OUTER LAB – NIGHT
ABBY: (INTO PHONE) Gibbs, I have a problem down here.
CUT TO:
INT. LANDING – DAY
SHEPARD: You needed to see me?
GIBBS: Abby Sciuto’s new assistant.
SHEPARD: Abby’s overworked. She needed help down there.
GIBBS: You haven’t been here long enough to know what she needs yet, Jen.
SHEPARD: The girl practically mainlines caffeine, Gibbs. The guys in the mailroom call her “Energizer Abby.”
GIBBS: She works best alone. She’s a lot like you – very hands-on.
SHEPARD: Give it a month, Jethro. If she’s still unhappy we’ll talk about it. You can give me a month, can’t you?
GIBBS: It’s not me you have to worry about, Director. Abby works alone for a reason.
SHEPARD: Which is?
GIBBS: Something you should ask her yourself.
SHEPARD: I will. I’m briefing SecNav in about an hour. Anything on the two missing Marine wives?
GIBBS: Not yet.
SHEPARD: I need more than that, Jethro.
GIBBS: Well, you can tell him they were running an internet sex site while there husbands were deployed and, as a result of that, they may have been murdered.
SHEPARD: I guess I can hold off briefing him for a little while.
(PHONE RINGS)
GIBBS: Good call, Madam Director. (INTO PHONE) Gibbs.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
TONY: Chow’s getting cold, McGee.
MCGEE: No time. I have to find where all this Naughty Naughty Neighbors website money went because if I don’t, Gibbs might actually decide to kill me this time.
TONY: He has an excellent point.
MCGEE: This doesn’t make sense. They made almost five hundred thousand dollars. It just can’t disappear.
ZIVA: Money changes hands, McGee. Rarely does it disappear.
MCGEE: Money maybe, but there are only two people who had access to this cash, and both of them have vanished.
GIBBS: Not anymore. Dumfries Police Department found Leanne Roberts.
CUT TO:
EXT. JUNKYARD – DAY
(CAMERA ANGLE ON LIFELESS BODY)
(MUSIC UP AND OUT)
FADE IN:
EXT. JUNK YARD – DAY
DUCKY: I’m sorry, Jethro. There’s just too many parameters. Fully clothed, sealed in the back of a car. It’s been a pretty cool and dry week. I couldn’t even give you an educated guess as to when she died.
GIBBS: The wound is deep.
DUCKY: Yes. Consistent with a combat or hunting knife.
GIBBS: Like the one on that internet video.
(INTERCUT VIDEO SCENE)
DUCKY: Yeah, it could be. (SFX: DOG BARKS)
TONY: Sweep the yard! See if the dog reacts to any other human remains.
MCGEE: Hey, buddy.
(SFX: DOG BARKS)
MCGEE: She doesn’t like people.
(ZIVA PETS THE DOG)
ZIVA: Hi! Hi!
MCGEE: Maybe it’s just me.
ZIVA: How long is Gibbs planning on keeping us here?
TONY: As long as it takes to find the other missing wife.
ZIVA: Assuming she’s even here, Tony! It could take days to search this place.
TONY: Why don’t you tell Gibbs that? He loves our input.
ZIVA: Are you sure these are corpses-sniffing dogs?
TONY: Of course. That’s why they’re alerting to McGee. He’s been a dead man since yesterday.
MCGEE: Very funny stuff there, Tony.
TONY: Still working on it.
ZIVA: How did you end up here, McGee?
MCGEE: Well, I rode in the back of the van. You may have noticed my screaming as Tony ran that light.
ZIVA: Not here, here. At NCIS. I know Tony’s story, what’s yours?
MCGEE: Do you want the long version or the short version?
TONY: Oh, there’s only one version. McGee showed up on our doorstep like a little lost poodle.
MCGEE: That is not true, Ziva.
TONY: No, you’re right. It was more like a Saint Bernard.
GIBBS: DiNozzo! Ziva! We’re out of here!
TONY: Thank you, God.
MCGEE: What about me, Boss?
GIBBS: You’re heading up the search. Find me that other body.
MCGEE: Why me? I’m not the newbie anymore. Don’t you think this is maybe a job for Ziva?
GIBBS: I need a trained investigator running this site, McGee. Do you think Ziva fits that bill?
MCGEE: I guess not, Boss.
TONY: Hey, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Do what you do best.
MCGEE: What, you mean screwing up?
TONY: No, finding answers when no one else can.
ZIVA: That was nice of you.
TONY: Never kick a probie when he’s down, Ziva.
ZIVA: I thought the expression was dog.
TONY: It’s the same difference.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
DUCKY: You’ve been through the wars, my dear. Murdered in your own home and then discarded like yesterday’s rubbish.
GIBBS: What’s the time of death, Duck?
DUCKY: Based on decomposition and bloating, ten, twelve days ago.
GIBBS: She was killed prior to Jamie Carr.
JIMMY: X-rays, Doctor.
DUCKY: Thank you.
JIMMY: What’s this translucent jell leaking onto the table?
DUCKY: Silicone, Mister Palmer. It appears our young lady’s left implant ruptured. As I suspected, cause of death – compound fracture of the skull.
JIMMY: My guess would have been on the eight inch gash across her throat.
DUCKY: Then you’d have been wrong, Mister Palmer. Such a gash should have resulted in enough loss of blood that would have covered her entire torso.
GIBBS: Should have, Duck?
DUCKY: Yes, when I cleaned the body there was little to no external blood. She died of blunt force trauma. Once her brain function ceased, the cardio vascular system shut down.
GIBBS: Explaining the lack of blood loss.
DUCKY: Indeed, Jethro. Leanne Roberts died and then the knife was taken to her neck.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
ZIVA: You never cease to amaze me.
TONY: I probably would have gone pro if I hadn’t blown out my knee senior year.
ZIVA: I was referring to the numerous ways in which you entertain yourself.
TONY: Like what?
ZIVA: Computer solitaire, paper airplanes, last week’s rubber band war.
TONY: Oh. Well, in all fairness that was McGee’s fault.
ZIVA: How?
TONY: Well he’s the one who brought the rubber bands down from the supply room. Should have known better.
ZIVA: I think he learned his lesson. I never knew a rubber band could leave such a welt.
TONY: It’s all in the release.
ZIVA: It’s astounding you actually find the time to do your job.
TONY: It’s what we call the creative process.
ZIVA: What’s that?
TONY: While you were getting your little Banana-Rama thingy, I was finding us a lead.
ZIVA: It’s Berry Mango Madness. And… I’m listening.
TONY: This dude had a platinum membership to the website, restraining order filed against him last year, and lives in the Dumfries area.
ZIVA: Name?
TONY: Robert T. Sullivan.
ZIVA: Checked him out last night. He’s been in South Beach, Florida, for the past six weeks.
TONY: South Beach is an exotic place. Beaches, babes. Bingo!
ZIVA: Mister Sullivan is in a spiritual retreat. He’s a Jehovah’s Witness.
TONY: That would explain the restraining order. Well, only four thousand, three hundred and thirty eight to go.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
ABBY: This has been the longest two days of my life. Popcorn, Chip? Chip, are you with us?
CHARLES: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I guess I zoned out for a minute.
ABBY: It’s Abby, and it was like an hour.
CHARLES: Look, I… I think I’d feel more comfortable being assigned to another project.
ABBY: What’s the matter, Chip? You don’t like watching porn with me? Sorry I’m not one of the fellows, but I’m doing the best I can.
CHARLES: I don’t really watch explicit material with my peers, Ma'am. Abby. Abby, I don’t watch it at all.
ABBY: Not buying it, Chip.
CHARLES: And why is that?
ABBY: Two reasons. One, you’re male. Two, you’re breathing.
CHARLES: See, I find that to be an unfair generalization. Not all men engage themselves in those kinds of immoral activities.
ABBY: That’s not what Tony says.
CHARLES: Yeah, well, I prefer to spend my time more constructively. I have a detailed routine designed to strengthen both my mind and my body. I do calisthenics in the morning, and I do brain teasers at night.
ABBY: Home-schooled.
CHARLES: How did you know?
ABBY: Wild guess. Oh, look at that, Chip.
CHARLES: Oh, yes. Video’s done. We’re done.
ABBY: Nope. That was just Jamie Carr’s feed. Now it’s Leanne Roberts’.
CHARLES: Fantastic.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
(SFX: ZIVA POUNDS ON THE KEYBOARD)
(SFX: ZIVA SHRIEKS)
TONY: Having problems, Officer David?
ZIVA: At Mossad we used MAC. I’m yet not accustomed to this operating system.
(SFX: ZIVA BANGS ON THE KEYBOARD)
MCGEE: It’s like I’ve told Gibbs, that approach never works, Ziva.
ZIVA: My approach makes me feel better.
TONY: You found Jamie Carr’s body?
MCGEE: Negative. The police and MPs are continuing the search tomorrow.
TONY: We haven’t had much luck either. Most of the subscribers for Naughty Naughty Neighbors are out of state.
MCGEE: I didn’t say I had no luck. About an hour ago I found my ticket back to the land of the living. It was buried under scrap metal about fifty feet from where we found Leanne Roberts’ body. Where’s Gibbs?
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC ROOM – DAY
CALDWELL: (ON MONITOR) I want you to understand, Ma'am, Sergeant Roberts is a good man.
SHEPARD: Understood, Captain, but my people still need to talk to him about his wife.
CALDWELL: (ON MONITOR) I’d like them to do more than just talk, Ma'am. They have to stop him.
GIBBS: From doing what, Captain?
CALDWELL: (ON MONITOR) From ruining his life, Sir. (V.O.) My Sergeant Major told me to contact you, Special Agent Gibbs. Sergeant Roberts requested emergency leave two days ago.
GIBBS: We just found his wife’s body. How’s that possible?
CALDWELL: (ON MONITOR) He doesn’t know she’s dead yet, Sir. He requested leave for another reason.
SHEPARD: Which was?
CALDWELL: (ON MONITOR) A personal matter, Ma'am.
GIBBS: We know about the sex site, Captain.
CALDWELL: (ON MONITOR) Well, then you should know that Sergeant Roberts blames one of his neighbors for it. According to his squad, he’s planning on killing the man.
SHEPARD: And you sent him home to do it, Captain?
CALDWELL: (ON MONITOR) I was unaware of his intentions until this morning, Ma'am. Look, I just need your help. Now, the neighbor’s name is Bart Powell.
GIBBS: When’s the Sergeant scheduled to land, Captain?
CALDWELL: (ON MONITOR) Tomorrow, Sir.
SHEPARD: Check his flight manifest.
CALDWELL: (V.O.) He just needs a cool down period, Agent Gibbs. (ON MONITOR) And like I said, he’s a good man, and an even better Marine.
GIBBS: We’re on it, Captain. We’ll pick him up at the airport.
CALDWELL: Thank you, Sir. My Sergeant Major said that we could count on you.
GIBBS: He get that bottle I sent him?
CALDWELL: He did. He told me to tell you to keep ‘em coming.
(MONITOR OFF)
(SFX: GIBBS CHUCKLES)
SHEPARD: Alcohol is contraband in Iraq.
GIBBS: I thought it’d take longer, Jen.
SHEPARD: Longer for what?
GIBBS: For me to see you as a Director and not a Field Agent.
SUMNER: Ma'am, Sergeant Roberts changed his itinerary. He left West Germany last night.
SHEPARD: When’s he due in?
SUMNER: He arrived two hours ago at Dulles.
CUT TO:
EXT. POWELL’S HOUSE – DAY
(SFX: CARS BRAKE TO A STOP)
GIBBS: We’re here to stop Sergeant Roberts, not kill him.
ZIVA: But what if--
GIBBS: I said stop him, Officer David.
ZIVA: Got it!
(SHOUTING B.G.)
GIBBS: You take the right.
CUT TO:
EXT. BACK YARD – DAY
BART: I didn’t do anything!
ROBERTS: Where is she, Powell?! Where’s my wife?
BART: I don’t know!
ROBERTS: Where’s my wife?!
BART: I don’t know. I swear!
ROBERTS: She told me what you made her do! I’m going to gut you like the pig you are!
GIBBS: Drop the knife, Sergeant! Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS. We’ll take it from here.
ROBERTS: Do you know what he did to my wife, Sir?
GIBBS: I do. We’re here to take him into custody.
ROBERTS: He deserves to die, Sir!
GIBBS: I can’t let you do that, Sergeant. Sergeant!
ROBERTS: My house… there was police tape, blood inside. Leanne’s dead, isn’t she?
GIBBS: I’m sorry, Marine.
ROBERTS: You ought to be killed.
(POWELL SHOUTS)
ROBERTS: What now, Sir? What am I supposed to do now?
CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY
BART: I did not kill Leanne Roberts.
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
BART: This is… this is insane. I barely knew her!
MCGEE: He wants you to run the tape.
ABBY: I guess it was worth it then.
MCGEE: Worth what?
ABBY: Watching over twenty hours of porn with Chip.
MCGEE: Who the hell is Chip?
SHEPARD: Her new assistant.
ABBY: That I didn’t ask for, Madam Director.
SHEPARD: Abby, it’s Director or Ma'am, not madam. How is Mister Sterling working out?
ABBY: All I can tell you right now, Ma'am, is that he’s easily excitable.
CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY
GIBBS: Barely knew her?
BART: All I see is some shadow climbing through her window.
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
ABBY: What do you see now?
CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY
BART: Okay, so we had an affair. I mean, that’s not a crime.
GIBBS: But you know what is? Blackmail. Sergeant Roberts…
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
GIBBS: … Got a letter in Iraq last week from…
CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY
GIBBS: …. His wife explaining everything.
BART: About what?
GIBBS: You found out about her website and you threatened to tell her husband unless she’d sleep with you.
BART: Oh, god! No! No! I wouldn’t have! I was just fooling around!
GIBBS: You killed her and you killed her website partner, Jamie Carr.
BART: No, I didn’t kill anyone!
GIBBS: You’re a liar and you’re a predator! And you think anybody is going to believe what you have to say now?!
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
SHEPARD: It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in interrogation, Jethro. You haven’t lost your touch.
GIBBS: I should’ve let Sergeant Roberts kill him.
TONY: Bad news, Boss. Powell’s alibi checked out. The week Leanne Roberts was murdered, he was at Disney World with his wife and kids.
GIBBS: Did you tell Sergeant Roberts yet?
TONY: I thought it would be best if it came from a fellow Marine. So if Powell didn’t do it, who did?
SHEPARD: That’s what we’re going to find out, Agent DiNozzo.
(MUSIC UP AND OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
ZIVA: Running a little late this morning?
TONY: Stopped at the mall to pick up Monica’s gift. It was completely packed. Scott Baio’s cutting the ribbon at a new Pottery Barn.
ZIVA: Who’s Scott Baio?
TONY: Exactly. Morning, Probie. (TO ZIVA) What’s with him?
ZIVA: He’s been that way all morning. I do not believe he went home last night.
TONY: Ah. Where’s Gibbs?
ZIVA: He left for coffee.
TONY: What do you think?
GIBBS: It’s not your color, DiNozzo.
TONY: Ah, I was just showing Ziva…
GIBBS: You’re late.
TONY: Yeah, I had to run an errand. It was important but it won’t … won’t happen again.
MCGEE: Boss, I located the money. They had a Cayman account set up to dump the funds into a U.S. account on the fifteenth of every month.
ZIVA: Whose account?
MCGEE: Her name is Hazel Davenport.
ZIVA: We got an address?
MCGEE: Yeah, Royal Manor Retirement Home. She’s eighty-six years old. She happens to be the maternal grandmother of Carter Finch.
GIBBS: See what happens when you show up to work on time, DiNozzo?
TONY: Yes.
MCGEE: He emptied the account last night and walked out with close to half a mil in cash.
GIBBS: What are you waiting for? Bring me Finch. (SHOUTS) Now!
TONY: Right. (TO MCGEE) You pulled an all-nighter?
MCGEE: Sergeant Roberts deserves answers.
TONY: Should’ve told me. I would’ve stayed.
MCGEE: I know you would’ve. So why were you late?
TONY: I stopped by the mall to pick up Monica’s birthday present.
MCGEE: Did you see Scott Baio?
CUT TO:
INT. ABBY’S LAB – DAY
ABBY: Not the knife in the video, Chip!
CHARLES: How do you know for sure?
ABBY: Because it’s obvious.(BEAT) See the butt of the knife? Not the same. This is a Marine Caper. See the blade?
CHARLES: Not the same?
ABBY: Not the same, Chip. There are no serrations. A different knife killed Leanne Roberts then killed Jamie Carr.
CHARLES: That doesn’t make any sense.
ABBY: That doesn’t make any sense. Good, Chip.
CHARLES: I really hate being called Chip.
ABBY: I really hate that Ozzy got fat and stupid. Live with it. Now here is what really doesn’t make sense. Hunting knives, kitchen knives, military knives, ceremonial knives…. Four hundred and twenty-three different kinds of knives. And none of them match this one.
CHARLES: That’s strange.
ABBY: Wrong response, Chip.
CHARLES: Nothing matches yet.
ABBY: Now you’re making sense.
CUT TO:
INT. BASEMENT APARTMENT – DAY
TONY: Laptop’s gone.
MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Left in a hurry, Boss.
(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Did you talk to his mother?
(SCENE CUT)
MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Said that she hasn’t seen him since we talked to him.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Tony and Ziva spooked him.
(SCENE CUT)
MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) You want us to set up surveillance, make sure that we’re here when he comes back?
TONY: He’s not coming back. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
ZIVA: (V.O.) I checked his cell phone records.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
ZIVA: He has not made or received a phone call since Wednesday of last week.
TONY: I can’t imagine he has a lot of friends.
MCGEE: He doesn’t really need them, considering he has half a million dollars in cash.
ZIVA: That he picked up over eighteen hours ago. Whoosh. I could be in Rio De Janeiro right now.
TONY: Good thing he’s not you. Okay, this guy’s not smart enough to cover his tracks.
MCGEE: He’s done pretty well so far.
TONY: He does online auctions from his laptop. Super Collectables…
ZIVA: Ultra Collectibles and Auctions dot com. Can we trace him?
MCGEE: If we can pinpoint some of his items. Do you know what he sells?
TONY: Star Wars stuff.
MCGEE: That narrows it down to like fifty million people.
TONY: Ah. Ah… some kind of figurine. There’s only three of them.
MCGEE: Yoda? C-Three-P-Oh? Storm Trooper?
ZIVA: Wookiee. There’s a special edition prototype from nineteen seventy eight. It comes equipped with an ammo belt. There are only three in existence.
MCGEE: You’re a Star Wars junky, huh?
ZIVA: Not especially.
TONY: She has a photographic memory, Probie. Not a social disorder.
MCGEE: Okay, there is one seventy eight Wookiee posted. Only one with an ammo belt. High bid was over twelve hundred dollars.
TONY: Was?
MCGEE: He shut down the auction early this morning. Guess he no longer needed the cash.
TONY: Can you find him?
MCGEE: I’m tracing the host computer I.P. address now. Looks like he last logged on six hour ago. A broadband connection at the Freemont Inn in Woodbridge, Virginia.
TONY: That’s twenty minutes from here. Ziva, you’re with me. McGee… call Gibbs!
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
TONY: If things get hairy, just follow my lead. What’s happening, ladies?
ZIVA: I don’t need a babysitter, Tony. I’ve been in hundreds of these situations.
TONY: Never with me. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a Probie.
ZIVA: I’ve never had sex with you, either. Does that mean I’m a virgin?
TONY: Trust is a virtue that’s earned, not given.
ZIVA: Profound.
TONY: I try.
(SFX: TONY WHISTLES)
ZIVA: Nice ass, yes?
TONY: Something like that.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
(DOOR OPENS)
TONY: Federal agents! Looks like we missed quite a party.
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
ZIVA: Tony, I think you want to take a look at this.
TONY: The knife’s a K-Bar, a Marine fighting knife.
ZIVA: I told Gibbs not to let Sergeant Roberts go home last night.
TONY: What do you think of that? Blood?
ZIVA: Do you smell that?
TONY: Haviar Christian Number Five. You think you’re the only one with a memory?
ZIVA: That’s not blood. It’s hair dye.
(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE)
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
MCGEE: Have you seen Gibbs?
ABBY: (INTO PHONE) Gibbs, it’s Abby! I need to talk to you! Pronto! (TO MCGEE) Now you may speak, McGee.
MCGEE: Do you know where Gibbs is?
ABBY: Last time I saw him he was with the Director.
MCGEE: I really need to talk to him.
ABBY: Not as much as I do.
MCGEE: You know what? He better have a good reason for not answering his phone.
GIBBS: I was briefing the Secretary of the Navy, McGee. Does that one work for you?
MCGEE: Boss, I’m sorry. It’s just that we found Carter Finch. Tony and Ziva are probably there now.
ABBY: Gibbs, there’s more!
GIBBS: Where?
MCGEE: The Fremont Inn.
ABBY: Hello? Gibbs?
GIBBS: Get DiNozzo on the phone. Now.
MCGEE: Right.
ABBY: Gibbs! I can’t work like this anymore!
(F/X: ABBY SIMULATES A KNIFE ACROSS HER THROAT)
ABBY: The knife? It’s fake. Two hundred and forty three dollars at your local magic shop. Jamie Carr… faked her own death.
(SFX: KEYBOARDING)
CUT TO:
INT. FREMONT INN – DAY
TONY: Jamie Carr? I liked you better as a blonde.
ZIVA: That is probably not a good idea.
TONY: You’re probably familiar with this.
JAMIE CARR: You wish. (SFX: TONY WHISTLES)
(PHONE RINGS)
TONY: (INTO PHONE) DiNozzo.
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) The knife in the video… (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) … is a fake, DiNozzo. Jamie Carr is…
TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Alive.
(SCENE CUT)
TONY: (INTO PHONE) We know. We’re looking at her right now.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) What about Carter--?
TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Finch? Dead. She offed him in the hotel room, took all the money for herself.
(SCENE CUT)
TONY: (INTO PHONE) She’s a naughty little kitty cat. Anything else, Boss?
(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
(SFX: HANGS UP PHONE)
ABBY: Now you know how I feel, Gibbs.
CUT TO:
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
GIBBS: She claims it was an accident. They fought when your wife wanted out – tell you about the internet site.
ROBERTS: It’s my fault. I was away for too damn long, Sir.
GIBBS: Trust me, Marine. None of this is your fault.
ROBERTS: Leanne wanted to start a family. And I told her we couldn’t afford it. Maybe when I made Staff Sergeant, you know? I never thought that she’d…
GIBBS: I know exactly how you feel.
ROBERTS: How do you.. how do you live with it, Sir?
GIBBS: Sergeant, you ask yourself that question every day until you find the answer.
ROBERTS: And what did you find, Sir?
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – NIGHT
SHEPARD: How did Sergeant Roberts take it?
GIBBS: He’s on his way back to Iraq.
SHEPARD: You think that’s wise sending a Marine who just lost his wife back into combat?
GIBBS: Wise? No, that’s what I’d do.
SHEPARD: Are you heading out?
GIBBS: Yeah.
SHEPARD: Good. I’ll walk you to your car.
(GIBBS AND SHEPARD WALK O.S.)
ZIVA: Tony, it’s almost nine o’clock. Isn’t tonight your big birthday dinner?
TONY: We broke up.
ZIVA: Why?
TONY: Apparently, her husband didn’t think it was a good idea.
ZIVA: She’s married?
TONY: Knew she was too good to be true.
ZIVA: Do you still have those dinner reservations? My treat.
TONY: I guess I could drown my sorrows in surf and turf.
ZIVA: That’s a good attitude.
TONY: I’ll catch up.
ZIVA: You will not be needing that!
(MUSIC OUT)
(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)
(MUSIC UP OVER ENDING CREDITS AND OUT)
* * * * * * * *
Prepared by C.C. Printed in USA
Calvert Continuities Aired 10/25/05