MUSIC IN:
INT. TONY’S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
TONY: So what do you think?
ZIVA: Not bad, I suppose.
TONY: Not bad she says as she walks in from the outdoor patio, past the fax machine and the mini-bar, complimentary basket of fruit. This is the perfect way to spend a weekend. Come on! Big screen TV! Ooh! Two hundred channels. Look at this. HBO, ESPN, The Mystery Channel. Turner Classic Movies. I take it you’re not interested in the premium channels?
ZIVA: There’s only one thing I’m interested in right now.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION)
(MUSIC OUT)
(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)
FADE IN:
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
“UNDER COVERS”
ZIVA: Do you think they bought it?
TONY: I did.
ZIVA: That’s fairly obvious.
TONY: For your information that’s my knee.
ZIVA: Whatever. You can get off of me now.
TONY: It’s only been ten minutes. I have a reputation to protect.
ZIVA: We’re not even sure if we’re under surveillance yet, Tony.
TONY: You can’t be too careful when you’re undercover. Let’s give it another forty minutes, just to be realistic.
ZIVA: Realistic, huh?
TONY: Uh-huh.
ZIVA: In that case…
(F/X: TONY AND ZIVA ROLL OVER)
ZIVA: I’m right on top.
TONY: I can live with that. (SFX: TONY GROANS)
TONY: What was that for?
ZIVA: Because that was definitely not your knee.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
DUCKY: Oh, she’s very beautiful, Jethro.
GIBBS: Her name’s Sophie Ranier. She’s murdered over twenty five people, Ducky.
DUCKY: Yeah, and her friend?
GIBBS: Her husband. Jean Paul Ranier. Both Canadian citizens, both contract assassins.
DUCKY: She suffered extensive injuries. It may take quite a while to determine the actual cause of death.
GIBBS: They were killed in a car accident two days ago outside of Kuwait International Airport. Here’s the accident report.
DUCKY: I’m assuming this is urgent. I’ve waited three months to see Giselle.
GIBBS: Yeah, apologies about the girlfriend, Duck. But I do need you to…
SHEPARD: Giselle’s a ballet, Gibbs. You really should get out of your basement more, Jethro.
(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENES)
SHEPARD: We need to know everything we can about these two, Ducky.
DUCKY: Why is NCIS investigating this?
SHEPARD: Marine C.I.D. found two fake U.S. passports and two first-class tickets for Washington, D.C. in their luggage.
GIBBS: They have reservations at the Barclay through November tenth.
DUCKY: The Marine Corps’ birthday.
GIBBS: They’re holding the ball there. Hosted by the Commandant of the Marine Corps.
SHEPARD: Our top military leaders, Congressmen and Agency Directors will be there, including me.
GIBBS: Tony and Ziva have taken their room reservations at the Barclay. They’re there now pretending to be these two. They’re working blind, Duck.
SHEPARD: We’re counting on you to fill them in on some of the more personal details of our couple.
DUCKY: Oh, though it may be common knowledge that I talk to my patients. Unfortunately, to date, none of them have ever answered me back.
GIBBS: Listen harder.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
TONY: Sweetheart, you know what I could really use right now?
ZIVA: Some deodorant?
TONY: I was thinking more along the lines of a back massage.
ZIVA: Good idea. Why don’t you roll over like a good boy?
TONY: Oh, wow. Oh, and to think my mother thought I was too good for you. Ow!
(SFX: TONY GASPS)
CUT TO:
INT. FREEMONT HOTEL – NIGHT
(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)
YUSSIF: What’d I miss?
MAYA: They had sex.
YUSSIF: Did they have any contact with anyone yet?
MAYA: Just each other. Multiple times.
YUSSIF: Was it good for you? (KNOCK ON DOOR)
MAYA: Wait. Someone’s knocking at their door.
ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Who is it?
MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Room service.
MAYA: Room service.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
MCGEE: Compliments of the hotel management. (WHISPERS) Gibbs wants me to sweep the room for bugs and plant some of our own. And he also wants to talk to you.
ZIVA: You can put it over there, please.
MCGEE: Very good, Ma'am.
ZIVA: Garçon…
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – NIGHT
ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) We’d like some extra bath towels.
MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Of course.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY’S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
MCGEE: Just checking to make sure everything’s in order. Would you like me to have the maid make up the bed for you, Sir?
TONY: Oh, that won’t be necessary.
CUT TO:
INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM
ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Oh, and will you check the mini bar? We’d like it restocked with Red Bull.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
MCGEE: Red Bull. That’ll keep you up all night, Ma'am.
ZIVA: Exactly.
MCGEE: Please accept this assortment of cheeses compliments of the hotel.
CUT TO:
INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM
YUSSIF: What’s wrong?
MAYA: Room service put a tray on our microphone.
YUSSIF: Well you know what that means.
MAYA: We’re screwed?
YUSSIF: Nope. You get to dress up as a maid, Maya.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
MCGEE: If you whisper, it should be okay.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – NIGHT
GIBBS: Comfortable, DiNozzo?
TONY: (ON MONITOR) Well, yeah. I’m working on it. Why do you ask?
SHEPARD: We’re looking at you, Agent DiNozzo. All of you.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
TONY: Ah, sorry about that.
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) DiNozzo…
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – NIGHT
GIBBS: What the hell are you doing? You’re married assassins. You’re not visiting the Playboy mansion.
TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) It was kind of Ziva’s idea, boss.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY’S HOTEL – NIGHT
(PHONE RINGS)
TONY: Incoming call.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – NIGHT
SHEPARD: Have her answer it.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
(PHONE RINGS)
TONY: Sweet cheeks, do you think you could go over and answer the phone for me while I pour us some champagne? (TO ZIVA) Thanks, honey.
(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Yes.
(SCENE CUT)
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) There’s a cell phone in the Bible next to your bed.
(SCENE CUT)
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Got it.
(SCENE CUT)
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Keep it with you at all times.
(SCENE CUT)
MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) You have dinner reservations at the hotel dining room at nine o’clock.
(SCENE CUT)
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Don’t be late. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
ZIVA: The concierge. We were able to get into the dining room after all, my love. It looks like I’m getting dressed up for you tonight.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – DAY
GIBBS: That wasn’t the concierge. That was their contact.
CUT TO:
INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM
MAYA: We’re on the move. Let’s go. We’ve got to get dressed for dinner.
YUSSIF: I’m coming.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – NIGHT
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
ABBY: Don’t look at me that way, Gibbs. It was league night when I got your nine-one-one. I was two frames away from a perfect score. And just for the record, the stupid outfits were not my idea.
GIBBS: I like it.
ABBY: It is kind of cute, huh?
DUCKY: No sign of Mister Palmer I suppose.
ABBY: Not since this afternoon, Ducky.
GIBBS: Abs, these are their personal effects. Get yourself wired so you can feed whatever you find directly to DiNozzo and David.
ABBY: Looking for anything in particular?
GIBBS: Yeah, anything that will help those two act like them.
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE CLOSED)
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Solid on the visuals, Tony.
TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) There’s quite a crowd here tonight. See anyone (ON CAMERA) you know, Sweet Cheeks?
ZIVA: Not yet. But the night’s just getting started, my little hairy butt.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – NIGHT
GIBBS: Abs?
ABBY: I’m loading the photos into the computer.
GIBBS: Duck, got any scoop for our married couple?
DUCKY: I have the breakdown of the contents of their stomachs and intestines. If Mister Ranier had lived, I would have suggested a more fiber rich diet.
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED) His colon was almost impacted with fecal material.
MAITRE D’ (in b.g. to MAYA/YUSSIF) Good evening, table for two?
TONY: Do you think it’s too late to order a salad?
ZIVA: I believe our food is here. Bon appetite mon petit bout.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – NIGHT
GIBBS: McGee, (V.O.) report.
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
MCGEE: I’ve got the restaurant covered from the entrance, Boss.
(CAMERA ANGLE ON TONY)
TONY: I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM
DUCKY: Tony, the calluses on Mister Ranier’s hand….
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED)… Suggest he was left handed.
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Switch hands, DiNozzo.
ZIVA: This is nice, isn’t it?
TONY: Yeah, a quiet little dinner….just the six of us.
(PHONE RINGS)
ZIVA: Our friend is calling.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – NIGHT
GIBBS: Abs, I want that number.
ABBY: Got it.
ABBY: Starting the reverse search directory now.
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) I’m glad you called. We were getting bored. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I thought it would help to see your target in person tonight.
(SCENE CUT)
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) He’s here?
MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) You don’t see him?
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Relax, I’m been flying for over twenty hours. (V.O.) And the restaurant’s packed. We will.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – NIGHT
GIBBS: Talk to me, Abs.
ABBY: He’s calling from a pay phone. The address is coming up.
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) You didn’t mention anything about being surrounded by U.S. Marines.
(SCENE CUT)
ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) It’s too dangerous for the sum you’re paying us.
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Accomplish your mission, we’ll discuss more.
(SCENE CUT)
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) But you won’t pay us more.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – NIGHT
ABBY: Got it! Two, two oh five “M” Street. He’s calling from a pay phone…
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) ….Inside the restaurant!
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) DiNozzo! McGee!
MCGEE: Already moving.
TONY: I have to go to the little boy’s room.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL LOBBY
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I have to talk to my boss.
(SCENE CUT)
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Do that. We’ll wait for you to – he hung up. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY – NIGHT
MCGEE: Don’t move! Federal Agent!
TONY: It’s me, Probie. He’s gone.
(MUSIC OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
TONY: Must’ve slipped out through the kitchen. (V.O./FILTERED) I didn’t even get a look. (ON CAMERA) You want us back at the squad room, Boss?
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) No. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: I want you and Ziva back in your room, maintaining your cover.
(SCENE CUT)
TONY: Oh, all night?
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: Do I stutter or something, DiNozzo? (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
ZIVA: Afraid I’ll bite, Tony?
TONY: The name is Jean Paul, Sophie.
ZIVA: Jean Paul.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – NIGHT
GIBBS: Hey Abs, what do you got?
ABBY: I have a “whoopee” and I have a “but.”
GIBBS: Abby…
ABBY: Whoopee I’ve got a photo of the man that Tony and Ziva are going to assassinate.
GIBBS: But?
ABBY: But… I have no idea which of these thirty two photos is him.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – NIGHT
SHEPARD: What makes you think the target’s a male? Did you forget I’ll be there?
GIBBS: Nope. Whoever set up the hit referred to the collar as a man.
SHEPARD: You’ve made contact.
GIBBS: Ziva got a pay-phone call.
SHEPARD: You trace it?
GIBBS: Gee, why didn’t I think of that?
SHEPARD: Sorry, Jethro. I’m a little tired.
GIBBS: Yeah, well, you never could pace yourself very well.
(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE)
SHEPARD: I have one word for you, Jethro.
GIBBS: Hmm…
SHEPARD: Positano.
GIBBS: Come on! That was a week after I took a bullet.
SHEPARD: Uh-huh. Where did the call originate?
GIBBS: Pay phone in the hotel. We got there. The guy was gone.
SHEPARD: Uh-huh. Where did the call originate?
GIBBS: Pay phone in the hotel. We got there. The guy was gone.
SHEPARD: At lease we know he’s here keeping tabs on the operation.
GIBBS: Abby’s matching these photos with reservations in the restaurant. She’ll check the names against invites to the ball. It’ll narrow the target.
SHEPARD: What if the hit has nothing to do with the ball? Someone who’s a guest at the hotel?
GIBBS: Ziva told him she didn’t know the target would be surrounded by Marines.
SHEPARD: And he wasn’t surprised?
GIBBS: No. (BEAT) hey, nothing’s going to happen tonight. Tony and Ziva are hitting the rack. All the back-up teams are in place around the hotel. Why don’t you go grab forty on the couch in your office?
SHEPARD: No. I just need a little coffee.
GIBBS: Yeah? And when the caffeine jolt ends?
SHEPARD: I’ll do what you do….get a refill.
GIBBS: You’re not me.
SHEPARD: Chauvinist.
GIBBS: Yeah. Yeah. I guess. Good night, Jen.
SHEPARD: Jethro --.
GIBBS: Uh huh --
SHEPARD: I need to bounce something off you.
GIBBS: Okay, shoot.
SHEPARD: My Director side is telling me to flood that hotel with security and notify the FBI of a potential terrorist attack. My agent side? If I do that, we lose the chance to take down an enemy cell operating inside the Capitol. They’ll scatter. Of course, you’d stay the course. Trust your people to get the job done.
GIBBS: Are you telling me what I’d do?
SHEPARD: Asking.
GIBBS: If I was Director, I’d give my people another twenty four. They can’t get the job done, I’d notify the FBI.
SHEPARD: You’d really do that?
GIBBS: Nah. But that’s why I’ll never be Director.
CUT TO:
INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM
(SFX: SNORING B.G.)
YUSSIF: The man snores like a drunken sailor. (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)
MAYA: Well, we won’t have to listen much longer. They saw their target at the restaurant. We’re on plan.
YUSSIF: I watched the videotape of their session this afternoon, Maya. It’s pretty hot stuff. Those two really know how to live their life. You… you ever think about that maybe…
MAYA: Forget it! We’re here on a mission, period. You want something more than coffee, call room service.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
(SFX: SNORING B.G.)
TONY: Oh my god! Ziva! Shh! Come on, you’re killing me here! Sophie!
ZIVA: Oh! (BEAT) What?
TONY: Nothing. I thought I heard something.
(ZIVA MUMBLES)
TONY: Crazy chick.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – NIGHT
ZIVA: (V.O.) I heard that, my little hairy butt.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
MCGEE: Good morning, Boss. Thank you. Hey Boss, this was sitting on my front porch this morning.
GIBBS: What is it?
MCGEE: It’s a package addressed to Ziva.
GIBBS: Well, yeah. I can see that, McGee. What is in it?
MCGEE: I wasn’t sure if I should open it.
GIBBS: That’s probably why she’s using you as her mule.
(GIBBS OPENS THE BOX)
MCGEE: Sunglasses? With different lenses?
GIBBS: Why?
MCGEE: To protect her eyes? You know what, I’m going to ask her. I’m going to find out.
GIBBS: Yeah, good idea, McGee. Send them a wake-up call.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Tony.
TONY: Hm?
MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Hey, DiNozzo!
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
MCGEE: Tony! This is great. They’re sleeping in a five star hotel. I’m a waiter.
ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Want to trade places, McGee?
MCGEE: (V.O.) You’re awake.
ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) Since zero five.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
ZIVA: He snores.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
MCGEE: I got a package here for you.
ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) My shades. (V.O.) Can you bring them up with breakfast?
MCGEE: (V.O.) Sure. (ON CAMERA) Gibbs wants Tony up, too.
ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) Huh. My pleasure.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
ZIVA: Jean Paul, my little furry bear. (F/X: ZIVA POURS WATER ON TONY’S HEAD)
(F/X: TONY LEAPS FROM THE BED/SHOUTING)
ZIVA: Oh.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
DUCKY: Make the stitches precise, Mister Palmer.
JIMMY: Uh, yes, Doctor.
DUCKY: And when you’re done, I want the supply locker inventoried and cleaned.
JIMMY: I uh…actually already did that, Doctor.
DUCKY: Then do it again. (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
GIBBS: What have we found out, Duck?
DUCKY: That my assistant, Mister Palmer here, should keep his cell phone with him and turned on at all times.
GIBBS: What can you tell me about our assassins?
DUCKY: Oh, Mister Ranier here had his appendix removed. Mrs. had her left wrist broken as a child. We did, however, find some rather curious markings.
GIBBS: Markings?
DUCKY: Well, tattoos might be the more appropriate word. Almost invisible to the naked eye. On the inside of the fourth digit on both of their left hands.
GIBBS: An eight?
DUCKY: Or the sign for infinity.
GIBBS: Some kind of terrorist cell ID?
DUCKY: On their ring fingers, perhaps it means love forever. You know, I want to take another look at the x-rays, make sure I didn’t miss anything else.
GIBBS: Yeah, do it. You missed a stitch there, Palmer.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
TONY: We really should take you to see the doctor, Sweet Cheeks.
ZIVA: Why’s that?
TONY: Because you snore like a drunken sailor with emphysema.
ZIVA: Look who’s calling the pot black.
TONY: Kettle. The pot is calling the kettle black.
ZIVA: Huh. I’d really like some music. Something with a little… beat, dear.
TONY: Sorry. (SFX: MUSIC PLAYS B.G.)
TONY: What have we got?
ZIVA: Ooh, sneaky people.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Top floor, northwest corner, Gibbs. They have a laser trained on our room.
MCGEE: I can’t believe that your sunglasses can detect different light spectrums, Ziva. That’s amazing.
GIBBS: DiNozzo, we’re going to need a diversion.
TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) I think we can manage something, Boss.
GIBBS: Let’s roll, McGee.
ABBY: Ziva, that is amazing. Big whoop, she has spy glasses. Anyone could do that. That’s not amazing. She’s just…
ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Uh, you realize we can still hear you, right, Abby?
CUT TO:
INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM
YUSSIF: I think I’m going to need a cold shower after this.
MAYA: Disgusting. Give me those binoculars!
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
(SFX: ZIVA MOANS B.G.)
TONY: I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.
ZIVA: (COUNTS) Ninety six, ninety seven, ninety eight…
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
GIBBS: We’re in position, DiNozzo. Give it the big finish.
CUT TO:
INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM
YUSSIF: We could make a fortune with this off the Internet.
MAYA: They’re serial killers, Yussif. I wouldn’t recommend trying.
(SFX: DOOR BURSTS OPEN)
(SFX: ALL SHOUT OVER)
GIBBS: Put them down!
(MUSIC UP AND OUT)
FADE IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
(VOICES ON TV in b.g.)
MAYA: I have a whole new respect for NCIS, Agent McGee.
YUSSIF: You guys are hard-core.
MCGEE: We got lucky. It was actually the trained laser on the room that gave you away.
MAYA: We were talking about your agents pretending to be married assassins.
YUSSIF: Very convincing.
MAYA: I don’t think anyone in the FBI would actually go all the way just to sell a cover story.
YUSSIF: I would.
MCGEE: Guys, they were acting.
YUSSIF: Trust me. I know when someone’s acting when they’re having sex.
MAYA: It’s true. I’ve met his wife.
MCGEE: Tony and Ziva wouldn’t….
TONY: (ON MONITOR) It’s unusual for a man to like Love Story.
CUT TO:
INT. BALCONY – DAY
SHEPARD: How do I explain to the Director of the FBI that we’re running an undercover op in his jurisdiction without informing him?
GIBBS: With a smile.
SHEPARD: It’s not funny, Gibbs.
GIBBS: They had intel the two assassins were going to hit a target at the Marine Corps birthday ball. Did you get that memo?
SHEPARD: No. Why didn’t I think of that?
GIBBS: Because you’re exhausted. I told you get some sleep, and do that before you take on the Director of the FBI.
SHEPARD: I can’t, Jethro.
GIBBS: I can fix this.
SHEPARD: How?
GIBBS: You’re not the only one around here who knows how to play politics.
SHEPARD: You’re not serious? Your idea of politics usually involves some form of physical violence.
GIBBS: Well, you know what they say, Jen. You can’t make an omelet unless you break a few eggs.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
MAYA: Are we free to go now?
FORNELL: Not yet. What the hell is NCIS doing at the Barclay, Gibbs?
GIBBS: Our job, Fornell.
FORNELL: Yeah? That involve jeopardizing our operation?
GIBBS: You’re damn lucky we didn’t blow these two away!
FORNELL: Which wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t strayed into our jurisdiction!
GIBBS: Conference room. Now.
FORNELL: So anxious to play with the big boys.
GIBBS: Really? Big boys my ass.
(GIBBS AND FORNELL WALK TO THE ELEVATOR)
MCGEE: Yeah, this is going to be ugly.
MAYA: Oh, yeah. Fornell hasn’t been this upset since…
YUSSIF: The last time we saw him.
CUT TO:
INT. ELEVATOR – DAY
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED)
FORNELL: Gum?
GIBBS: The big boys?
FORNELL: We really screwed this one up.
GIBBS: Oh, you think, Tobias?
FORNELL: The question is, how do we fix it without our Directors getting into a world class pissing match?
GIBBS: Joint op.
FORNELL: Who’s lead?
GIBBS: My team’s already in place.
FORNELL: Did you find out who hired them yet?
GIBBS: Not yet. Working on it.
FORNELL: I need more than that if I’m going to tap dance at the Hoover building, Jethro.
GIBBS: Give us twenty four hours, then we flip.
FORNELL: FBI gets operational control?
GIBBS: Yeah, and credit for the collar.
FORNELL: Agreed. The Directors get to save face and we…
GIBBS: Get the job done.
FORNELL: And people say we’re bastards?
GIBBS: Only because they know us.
(FOURNELL CHUCKLES)
(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
CHIP: I’ve got the IDs on the people in the restaurant who have invites to the Marine Corps Ball, Ma'am. Uh… Abby. Sorry.
ABBY: Make sure Tony and Ziva get them.
CHIP: Should I also check the restaurant staff, too?
ABBY: International assassins hired to take out a waiter.
CHIP: I was just trying to be thorough.
ABBY: No, it’s good. Good instincts, Chip. Run ‘em.
CHIP: Okay. Abby, can I ask you a question?
ABBY: Yes.
CHIP: Why don’t you like Officer David?
ABBY: What makes you think I don’t like her?
CHIP: I found this.
ABBY: Oh. That.
CHIP: Oh, I understand. I have the same problem with DiNozzo.
ABBY: Tony is a great guy. You just have to get to know him.
CHIP: Yeah, well you don’t know him like I do.
ABBY: He always gives new people grief. He learned that from Gibbs. Okay, quiz time. What’s your take on Sophie Ranier’s blood test?
CHIP: Well, she’s got elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotropin.
ABBY: Which means?
CHIP: She’s pregnant?
ABBY: Good, Chip. She’s pregnant.
GIBBS: Who’s pregnant?
ABBY: Ziva. I mean, not Ziva, Ziva, but Sophie Ranier, our dead hit girl. She’s got a bun in the oven.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
MAYA: Like what you see, Agent DiNozzo? The room’s clean except for the listening devices we installed. We’re free to talk.
TONY: Yeah, so you’re the one who’s been watching us?
MAYA: Oh, yeah. When this is over, we really should go out for drinks.
TONY: I’d like that.
ZIVA: I’m pregnant, Tony.
MAYA: Maybe some other time.
TONY: She… she was kidding.
ZIVA: Something wrong?
TONY: Thanks.
ZIVA: Oh, she’s really not your type anyway.
TONY: Hot and in a maid’s outfit? They don’t get any more my type. (PHONE RINGS)
ZIVA: He’s learning. Number’s blocked.
TONY: (INTO PHONE) Talk to me. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
(SCENE CUT)
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I’ve been told to negotiate a price commensurate with the risk.
(SCENE CUT)
TONY: (INTO PHONE) I’m listening.
MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) Not on the phone. Be in the lobby in exactly one hour.
(SCENE CUT)
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) A black Lincoln will be waiting out front. Make sure you’re not followed.
(SCENE CUT)
MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) In position, Boss.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: Your people set, Tobias?
FORNELL: Got four unmarked vehicles standing by. We’ll be able to follow them wherever they go.
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Tony, Ziva, get ready to roll. Hour’s almost up.
(SCENE CUT)
TONY: (INTO PHONE) Roger that, Boss. (TO ZIVA) You haven’t fired your weapon, so it’s already cleaned. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
ZIVA: It calms my mind. Forces me to stay focused at the job in my hand.
TONY: The term’s “job at hand.”
ZIVA: Same difference. Is something wrong?
TONY: Just trying to picture you pregnant.
ZIVA: Don’t.
TONY: I have to. I’m going to be a father. It’s a great responsibility.
ZIVA: Maybe it’s not yours.
TONY: Maybe she didn’t know.
ZIVA: Oh, she knew.
TONY: So why take this contract, put our unborn child in danger?
ZIVA: Perhaps we needed the money.
TONY: Kids are expensive.
ZIVA: Bullets are cheap. There’s a big chance this meeting is a set-up, Tony.
TONY: Are you scared?
ZIVA: Nope. Excited.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET – DAY
MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) No sign of the Lincoln yet. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) That’s a solid copy, McGee.
(SCENE CUT)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) We’re sending them down.
FORNELL: (INTO PHONE) All mobile units prepare to roll on my mark. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)
SHEPARD: This reminds me of our op in the former Czech Republic.
GIBBS: You took a round in the thigh.
SHEPARD: I had the same bad feeling before that op, too.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
TONY: We’re on our way to the elevator, Boss.
GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Tony, Ziva….
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – DAY
GIBBS: We’re not taking any chances on this one. First sign it goes bad you call it.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS)
TONY: Hold the door! Thanks.
HENRY: Sure.
TONY: Sweetheart.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Okay, black Lincoln just pulled up.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – DAY
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, I got a visual on that, McGee.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
CHIP: I got a match! Abby!
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
MCGEE: A man and a woman just got out. Heading into the hotel.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – DAY
MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Car’s leaving.
GIBBS: I can see that, McGee!
FORNELL: All units, hold your positions. That’s not our Lincoln.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
CHIP: The waiter’s got a warrant out on him.
ABBY: For what?
CHIP: Murder.
CUT TO:
INT. ELEVATOR – DAY
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/HENRY PULLS OUT A GUN)
(MUSIC OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. ELEVATOR – DAY
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS)
HENRY: You’re getting off here.
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
MARCOS: Not a wise choice, Mister and Mrs. Ranier. Weapons.
ZIVA: We would have come to the third floor ourselves. Three armed escorts seems a bit excessive.
MARCOS: Very good. Our location and our number in two sentences. It’s too bad your friends can’t hear you.
HENRY: You’re being jammed.
MARCOS: Bring them to my room. If they resist? Shoot the woman.
HENRY: Come on, let’s go.
CUT TO:
INT. MTAC – DAY
GIBBS: Tony, Ziva, do you copy? DiNozzo! I said, do you copy? McGee! What the hell is going on there?
MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Boss, they’re not in their room. They never arrived in the lobby.
FORNELL: My teams have the entire outside of the building covered. They didn’t leave the hotel, Gibbs.
SHEPARD: Last contact was at the elevator. That leaves eleven floors they could have gotten off at.
GIBBS: Eleven floors, McGee! How many rooms are we looking at?
MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Um… well if we don’t count individual bathrooms and closets…
GIBBS: McGee!
MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Two hundred, sixty four hotel rooms, twenty two utility rooms.
GIBBS: They haven’t checked in because they can’t.
SHEPARD: They’re at the meet right now?
GIBBS: They removed their earwigs and they dumped their comm when it was changed to the hotel.
FORNELL: We go room by room. My people seal off the exterior…
SHEPARD: No! We wait.
FORNELL: What for?
SHEPARD: For Ziva to contact us. We move now, we blow their cover, Fornell.
FORNELL: And if their cover is already blown, Director?
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
(SFX: HENRY SMASHES THE EAR PIECE)
MARCOS: There are two things you should be painfully aware of right now. One, no one leaves this business. And two, never threaten the people who employ you.
TONY: Should I be writing this down?
(SFX: CORD HITS TONY)
TONY: I take that as a no.
MARCOS: Where is the disk?
ZIVA: What disk?
(SFX: CORD HITS TONY)
MARCOS: Where, Mrs. Ranier?
ZIVA: What makes you think we have it?
MARCOS: We spotted your backup at the restaurant. On some level, you must have known this was going to happen.
ZIVA: Oh. Observant. How much is our disk worth to you?
(SFX: CORD HITS TONY)
MARCOS: I have a better question. What’s it worth to you?
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
ABBY: It’s bad news. It’s very, very bad. Remember when we missed grabbing the guy in the restaurant?
GIBBS: Mm-hmm.
ABBY: Well, Tony said he didn’t see anything. But the eye sees more than we think it does. It’s the brain that misses stuff. It has to do with the firing of the optic nerve and the visual cortex’s…
GIBBS: You found something from Tony’s camera.
ABBY: Well, I went to the feed frame by frame. Now, Tony is looking at the pay phone because that’s where he thinks the target is. But a camera doesn’t think. It just records. So when he runs past the kitchen door of the restaurant, he got… this.
GIBBS: Our bad guy. Run it. I want a name.
ABBY: I do. I did. Marcos Ceasan. He’s a contract assassin, Gibbs. He’s wanted in more than five countries. It doesn’t make any sense. Why would a killer hire other killers to do a hit for him?
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
MARCOS: Out of professional courtesy, I’ve had Mister Cord go lightly on your husband.
TONY: And I appreciate that.
MARCOS: Unfortunately we’re running out of time.
ZIVA: If you let him go, I’ll tell you where the disk is.
MARCOS: You’ll tell me either way, Mrs. Ranier. Why don’t you two take a moment and consider your options?
(MEN WALK O.S.)
TONY: I might have a plan.
ZIVA: What?
TONY: The Raniers obviously stole something they want. You’re going to give it to them.
ZIVA: We don’t have it.
TONY: You’re going to tell them it’s in our hotel room. The only way they’ll find it is if you show them. McGee should be waiting for us in there.
ZIVA: Good plan, except for one minor drawback.
TONY: What?
ZIVA: When I leave, they’ll most likely put a bullet through your head.
TONY: Oh. Well, I didn’t say it was a perfect plan.
CUT TO:
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY
DUCKY: Two centimeters below the supra orbital notch. What do you make of it, Mister Palmer? I originally assumed it was a spec of dirt on the exposure.
JIMMY: It appears to be a heart?
DUCKY: Yes. (CHUCKLES) A strange place to find one. Don’t you agree? It appears to be gold surgically embedded in the conjunctive layer. Perhaps some type of body jewelry.
JIMMY: Jewelry embedded in an eye.
DUCKY: Oh, yes. You’d be amazed what people do to themselves. To Abby, please.
JIMMY: You know, I doubt anyone would notice your little gold heart unless they knew it was there. Staring into your eyes, face to face… like a lover.
CUT TO:
INT. LAB – DAY
ABBY: I found a chip in it.
CHIP: Flash memory embedded underneath, Sir. Five hundred megabyte capacity. Fifty MPS throughout.
ABBY: Translation, it contains the Raniers’ personal data in two files. One has a list of numbered bank accounts, a deed for a restaurant, a house in Gilead, Maine.
CHIP: We also ran the address. The phone service and cable are scheduled to be turned on next week, Sir.
FORNELL: Sounds like a retirement plan.
GIBBS: She was pregnant. They were getting out of the business. What about the other file?
ABBY: It has a list of their clients: their names, addresses, phone numbers, all their information. Everything.
FORNELL: Insurance policy?
GIBBS: Their ticket out.
FORNELL: They weren’t hired to make a hit, Gibbs.
GIBBS: They are the hit.
CUT TO:
INT. MARCOS’ ROOM – DAY
MARCOS: Did you know the Peruvians make blades so sharp, some people can’t even feel the initial incision?
TONY: Stop! The disk’s in our hotel room.
ZIVA: Don’t! He’ll only use it…
MARCOS: Where?
TONY: She has to show you.
MARCOS: Not what I asked.
TONY: You’ll never find it without her, even if you kill us.
MARCOS: Untie her.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
(PHONE RINGS)
HENRY: (INTO PHONE) I’m in position.
CUT TO:
INT. MARCOS’ ROOM – DAY
MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Clear the room. I’m on my way up with the girl.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
HENRY: (INTO PHONE) My pleasure.
(DOOR OPENS)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
(DOOR OPENS)
(MUSIC OVER ACTION)
CUT TO:
INT. MARCOS’ ROOM – DAY
MARCOS: Your only mistake was going for one last big payday. You got greedy.
ZIVA: I’m pregnant.
MARCOS: Really? Congratulations. Boy or girl?
ZIVA: I don’t know. We want to be surprised.
MARCOS: It’s the best way, believe me. How many months?
TONY: Three!
MARCOS: Morning sickness?
TONY: Only every single day.
MARCOS: I hated to see my wife go through it, but believe me, it’s all worth it in the end.
ZIVA: So you’re not going to kill us?
MARCOS: We’re assassins. You know we can’t just walk away from the game when we feel like it. Hell, Don’t you think I’d rather be at my daughter’s fifth birthday than here?
TONY: So you are going to kill us? Right?
MARCOS: I haven’t decided yet. Give me the disk and we’ll see, play it by ear. (TO CORD) If I’m not back in five minutes, kill him.
(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)
CORD: That was purely for your wife’s cooperation. We like to call them little white lies.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
MARCOS: Open it.
(DOOR OPENS)
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
MARCOS: I hope you weren’t counting on your backup, Mrs. Ranier.
ZIVA: He’s not my back up.
(SFX: GIBBS HITS MARCOS)
GIBBS: Tony?
ZIVA: Third floor, room three five six.
FORNELL: (INTO RADIO) All teams, third floor, room three five six. (V.O.) Federal agent in distress.
(VOICE: (V.O./FILTERED) Copy. We’re moving.)
CUT TO:
INT. MARCOS’ HOTEL ROOM – DAY
TONY: You know what’s funny? I was really looking forward to having a kid there for a minute. That’s a big step for me. Having a little DiNozzo running around.
CORD: DiNozzo?
TONY: Yeah, that’s my full name. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY FIGHTS CORD)
(SFX: CHAIR BREAKS)
TONY: How does that feel? Huh? Huh, big guy? (SFX: TONY CONTINUES BEATING CORD)
ZIVA: Enough!
TONY: You want to punch me again?! Come on!
ZIVA: Enough enough, Tony. I think you made your point.
TONY: I want a divorce.
CUT TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY
DUCKY: The emergency room seems to have done a pretty good job. How do you feel?
TONY: Better, now that I can breath.
DUCKY: There doesn’t appear to be any permanent damage. How many times did he hit you?
TONY: I wasn’t counting.
ZIVA: Seven times.
TONY: She was, of course.
ZIVA: It was hard not to.
ABBY: We’re going to take really good care of you, Tony. I had Chip pull your car right around front.
TONY: He drove my car?
CHIP: Just from your parking space. I took extra special care.
TONY: Oh, thanks.
ZIVA: And uh… I’m driving you home.
TONY: Probie…
MCGEE: Uh Ziva, actually you shouldn’t probably drive him home tonight.
ZIVA: Why’s that?
ABBY: Maybe he wants to live.
DUCKY: Yes, well however you get home, I suggest a couple of aspirin… yes, and perhaps some scotch.
GIBBS: I thought doctors weren’t supposed to prescribe alcohol anymore, Duck.
DUCKY: Well, it always seems to work for you.
GIBBS: Did you get tickets to that gazelle thing again?
DUCKY: It’s Giselle, Jethro. And no, that’s not tonight. Marine Corps Birthday Ball. She didn’t tell you?
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/SHEPARD WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS)
DUCKY: Our lovely Director has asked me to escort her.
TONY: All right, good night, Boss. All right, I’m good. (TONY STUMBLES)
ABBY: Hey Gibbs, happy birthday.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION)
GIBBS: I miss you guys. Semper fi.
(MUSIC UP AND OUT)
(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)
* * * * * * * *
Prepared by C.C. Printed in USA
Calvert Continuities Aired 11/8/05
