6x02 – Agent Afloat
USS Seahawk: hallways
Announcer: Agent Afloat, report to the fantail. Agent Afloat, to the fantail on the double.
Anthony DiNozzo: Coming through... Make a hole... Look out.
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USS Seahawk: Fantail on the double
Anthony DiNozzo: Anyone see him jump?
Marine: No.
Anthony DiNozzo: Anyone?
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NCIS: Squad room
Timothy McGee: Nice morning.
Ziva David: Beautiful morning.
Timothy McGee: How's, uh, how's your tea?
Ziva David: Fine. Your coffee?
Timothy McGee: It's good. Good coffee.
Ziva David: Quiet day, huh?
Timothy McGee: Yeah. Quiet week.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Got a call from DiNozzo.
Ziva David: Tony?
Timothy McGee: When?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Navy lieutenant did a half gainer off the USS Seahawk... Talk to his wife.
Ziva David: Does she know?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: She will.
Timothy McGee: Shouldn't the Navy send a chaplain?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs:Chaplains don't investigate, McGee.
Timothy McGee: Right. Going to need a... Address.
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Street
Timothy McGee: It's going to be tough.
Ziva David: You think it's hard for us? Imagine what it feels like to be him.
Timothy McGee: Who him?
Ziva David: Tony. We're all here, and he's still stuck on that ship.
Timothy McGee: Not Tony, I meant...
Ziva David: Completely alone, away from all those who care about him.
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Porch
Ziva David: Wait, you weren't talking about Tony?
Timothy McGee: No, I meant it's going to be tough telling Lyndi Evans her husband's missing... Truck's here.
Ziva David: So is she.
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Evans's place: living room
Ziva David: It's freezing in here.
Timothy McGee: After four months in the subbasement, this is cozy. It's like March of The Penguins down there.
Ziva David: It's a nice place... Well, I mean, considering...
Donald Mallard: Timothy.
Timothy McGee: Sorry, Ducky, it's, uh, been a while.
Donald Mallard: Yes, it has. Nasopharyngeal mucosal secretion.
Timothy McGee: Snot? In her hair?
Donald Mallard: Yes, well, perhaps it's a souvenir left behind by her killer.
Ziva David: Looks like we found the murder weapon. Toy guitar?
Timothy McGee: That is not a toy guitar. That is a guitar controller used to play Lords of Rock video game. That particular model is called an ax.
Ziva David: So our killer is an ax murderer?
Donald Mallard: Unlikely. This young woman's demise was caused by blunt force trauma. For Abby, please.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Thermostat was set to 40.
Donald Mallard: Yes, and the chilled air slowed decomposition. I'd estimate this young lady's been dead for at least five days.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Husband deployed five days ago.
Ziva David: Battle on the home front before going off to war?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Room's a mess.
Timothy McGee: Looks like a violent fight to the death.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What tells you that, McGee?
Timothy McGee: Broken stuff everywhere and a badly beaten corpse, boss.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No broken furniture, no broken glass underneath the body.
Ziva David: She died where she fell, then the room was methodically trashed around her.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Crime scene was staged to make it look like a violent fight.
Ziva David: Air conditioning was set on low to slow decomposition in an attempt to disguise the time of death.
Timothy McGee: I'm sure I would have figured that out... Eventually.
Ziva David: You spent way too much time in the cyber unit. Your crime scene skills are getting a bit... Dusty.
Timothy McGee: Rusty.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Here, McGee, see if you can find something useful on that.
Donald Mallard: That's odd. With the exception of the severe trauma to the nose, the swellings on the facial wounds are uncharacteristically low for this type of violent beating, suggesting that the blows were delivered...
Timothy McGee: Postmortem... Right?
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NCIS: Squad room
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You need something, Abs?
Abigael Scuito: Nope, I'm just prepping Tony's desk for his big return.
Ziva David: Do you know something we don't?
Abigael Scuito: I just know he's coming back. I don't know how and I don't know when, but Tony... Is coming back.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey, get ahold of DiNozzo. Tell him I want to see the records of the guy who jumped overboard. Pull his service file.
Timothy McGee: Got it, boss. Don't worry, Abs. Tony's deployment will be over soon. Maybe they'll transfer him back.
Abigael Scuito: Not maybe, McGee... Definitely.
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NCIS: Director's office
Leon Vance: Husband overboard, wife murdered. That's a big coincidence.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not why you called me up here.
Leon Vance: You're a man down.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Noticed.
Leon Vance: And you want DiNozzo back. Agent DiNozzo has three more months on the Seahawk. After that, we'll look for the right fit.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Fits right here.
Leon Vance: Two San Diego agents... Both good men.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I'm sure they are.
Leon Vance: You decide... Or if you like, I will.
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USS Seahawk: bunk
Anthony DiNozzo: Zilch. Not even a toothbrush.
Bryce Armstrong: You looking for something specific, sir?
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah. The reason Lieutenant Evans didn't bother to unpack.
Bryce Armstrong: Guess he wasn't planning on sticking around.
Anthony DiNozzo: Yet he flew all the way from D.C. to Cartagena to join the ship... That make sense to you, Lieutenant?
Bryce Armstrong: The guy was a head case.
Anthony DiNozzo: Thought you never met him.
Bryce Armstrong: I didn't... Like I said, we stood different watches. But anybody who throws himself off a ship has got to be crazy.
Anthony DiNozzo: What about your other bunk mate?
Bryce Armstrong: Kaplan? Think he's got a touch of OCD, but other than that...
Anthony DiNozzo: Did he ever meet Lieutenant Evans?
Bryce Armstrong: I never asked.
Anthony DiNozzo: His watch is over... Where is he?
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USS Seahawk: lounge room
Jonah Kaplan: Oh, baby!
Eduardo Almeida: Vaya con Dios, fellas. I'm out.
Jonah Kaplan: Okay, call. What do you got?
Anthony DiNozzo: Three seconds until the Agent Afloat sees you're playing for stakes. Very subtle, Almeida.
Eduardo Almeida: Agent DiNozzo. You want to sit in?
Anthony DiNozzo: Who's Lieutenant Kaplan?
Jonah Kaplan: There he is, the guy whose straight just got flushed...
Anthony DiNozzo: I need to chat with you about your bunk mate.
Jonah Kaplan: The mama's boy or Louganis?
Anthony DiNozzo: Tell me... Tell me about Lieutenant Evans.
Jonah Kaplan: Only met him once. Logged into the COM Room during my watch.
Anthony DiNozzo: You talk to him?
Jonah Kaplan: Didn't get a chance to. Left an hour later.
Anthony DiNozzo: Notice anything odd?
Jonah Kaplan: Yeah. Evans. Guy was a nut job. Had that thousand-yard stare. Look, the guy called it quits, took a header. What is there to investigate?
Marine: Message for you, DiNozzo, from D.C.
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USS Seahawk: Sick bay
Russell Nguyen: Need that D5W, Henley.
Taylor Henley: On its way.
Anthony DiNozzo: Dr. Feelgood, how goes it?
Russell Nguyen: What now, DiNozzo? Found another sailor you think's faking their chronic pain?
Anthony DiNozzo: At ease, Nguyen. I've suspended the investigation... For now.
Russell Nguyen: Yeah, well, because of you, I have to fill out a report every time I dispense an aspirin.
Anthony DiNozzo: That must be quite a headache.
Taylor Henley: I can open up a line, Doctor.
Russell Nguyen: I've got it, Henley.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, I'd love to sit and chat with you about your highly questionable prescription-writing practices, but I am here for Lieutenant Evans' medical records.
Taylor Henley: Guy who went overboard?
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, that'd be him, genius.
Russell Nguyen: You've already seen his records.
Anthony DiNozzo: And that's the wacky nature of these cases. They're sort of like cheap luggage... You think they're closed, and then bam, you hit a curb, lose a wheel, and they open up all over again. Maybe you'll get lucky, Doc, and your little dope-dispensing caper will stay locked up tight like a Samsonite. Have a good day, gentlemen.
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NCIS: Squad room
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: McGee.
Timothy McGee: Trying, Boss.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Just pull up his service record.
Timothy McGee: Keating changed all my macros. My keyboard short... All right, I'm pulling it up on the plasma.
Ziva David: Should we have Keating sent up from the cyber unit? Lieutenant Chad Evans. Information Systems Officer. Completed security systems training at Fort Mead, Maryland.
Timothy McGee: Maybe if I reset the native resolution...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Just forget about it, all right?
Ziva David: Received a Navy commendation joint service achievement medal.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Good officer.
Timothy McGee: Bad saver. Five-star vacations, brand-new truck, custom furniture. All charged by his wife. Pushed his plastic to the limit.
Ziva David: Which may have lead to marital problems.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Or murder. Gonna talk to DiNozzo on the Seahawk.
Abigael Scuito: Tony? When? Now? Can I talk to him? Please, Gibbs, I just want to tell him that Sister Rosita, she bowled a 260 last month. And I finally saw...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Abby, it's not a social call... Ziva.
Ziva David: Want me to join you?
Timothy McGee: Yes! Boss? I got it. I got it, boss. I got...
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NCIS: MTAC
Agent: Yes, sir.
Anthony DiNozzo: Hey, boss, you talk to Vance?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, I'm talking to you.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, come on, you got to get me off this ship. You have any idea what it's like to be the only cop aboard a city of 5,000? Well, of course, you do, but just in case you forgot, it sucks.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Tell me about Lieutenant Evans, DiNozzo.
Anthony DiNozzo: It's all in the preliminary report I filed. You just have to open up your e-mail. I sent it... But you'd like me to-to tell you. Evans boarded in Cartagena five days ago at 0630. We were underway by 0800. He reported for duty at 1900 that night but left an hour later, claiming he was sick. Found his khakis and his I.D.on the fantail the next morning.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No body recovered?
Anthony DiNozzo: Not for lack of trying. There was an extensive search. Nothing.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Medical records?
Anthony DiNozzo: Nothing that screams, "I'm gonna kill my wifeand then throw myself overboard, but, uh," it's pretty obvious what happened, right? Evans kills hiwife before he leaves. Then he joins the ship. Feels that he can't live with what he's done. And then, he jumps overboard, which is what I'm gonna do if I don't get off this ship soon.
Timothy McGee: Boss?
Anthony DiNozzo: McGoo?
Timothy McGee: Hey, Tony. Uh, Abby wanted me to tell you, Sister Rosita bowled a two...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: McGee.
Timothy McGee: We ran a check of Lieutenant Evans' credit card charges. His card was used at a bar in Cartagena, Colombia.
Anthony DiNozzo: That's where he boarded the ship?
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, only the card was used three days after the Seahawk departed.
Anthony DiNozzo: I can hop a cod, be in Cartagena in two hours, boss.
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NCIS: Director's office
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Two good men.
Leon Vance: Two of my best.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I put in a call to the Colombian National Police in Cartagena. They're looking into Lieutenant Evans' credit card charges.
Leon Vance: He could have lost the card. Could have had it stolen before he boarded.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Or Lieutenant Evans is still alive.
Leon Vance: Well, that's hard to imagine. They were 100 miles off shore when he went overboard.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo spent two weeks in Cartagena doing threat assessments. He knows the city.
Leon Vance: One day. Then he flies back to the carrier. You didn't read these files, did you?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Like I said, two good men.
Leon Vance: Your choice?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo. You sent Ziva to Israel to follow up on a lead. You sent McGee to the basement to crack a code. There is no reason to assign DiNozzo to a carrier.
Leon Vance: Seven years as an agent. I figured it was about time.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You think he screwed the pooch in L.A.? That it? You sent him to sea to punish him, Leon?
Leon Vance: Your choice is noted.
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Cartagena: Banana Moon
Anthony DiNozzo: Hey, Hector!
Hector Cruz: Tony!
Anthony DiNozzo: So, how's the Juan Valdez of sugar cane?
Hector Cruz: Better when I see a ship with USS come to port. It's good to have you back.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, it's just a quickie.
Hector Cruz: Lorena... She's not singing today.
Anthony DiNozzo: You ever see this guy? Used his credit card here late last week.
Hector Cruz: You know how many sailors come into port last week?
Anthony DiNozzo: 5221.
Hector Cruz: Yes, my friend, and half... They come here.
Anthony DiNozzo: Lieutenant Evans, Hector?
Hector Cruz: You could put his picture on the big billboard, it makes no difference.
Anthony DiNozzo: $100 tip on a $50 tab... I think that would be kind of memorable. I could always tell the policia you were an accomplice to credit card fraud.
Hector Cruz: Now, what they gonna do?
Anthony DiNozzo: I saw Romancing the Stone. Throw you in an alligator pit. Work with me.
Hector Cruz: He was no sailor. Some maton paid me to use his credit card.
Anthony DiNozzo: Maton have a name? I hate to see the Banana Moon put on the Navy no-go list.
Hector Cruz: Come on, Tony.
Anthony DiNozzo: I mean, a few hundred less cervezas a night... That's really gonna cut into your bottom line. Think about it.
Hector Cruz: Are we good?
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Cartagena: Banana Moon, back door
Anthony DiNozzo: We're good... Where'd you steal the credit card? Tarjeta de credito, maton.
José: I find it.
Anthony DiNozzo: Where?
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Cartagena: Construction site
José: Over there... Come on, man... Look, man, I-I just took the card. He was already dead.
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Cartagena: Construction site / NCIS: Squad room
Anthony DiNozzo: Boss?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo.
Anthony DiNozzo: Found Lieutenant Evans. He didn't fall overboard. He couldn't have. Judging by the smell, he was dead before the Seahawk even sailed.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Killer impersonated a Navy officer to get on board a United States aircraft carrier.
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah. We got a major security breach, boss.
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NCIS: MTAC
Leon Vance: Lieutenant Evans was killed in Cartagena, Captain.
Richard Owens: Then who the hell boarded my ship?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: His killer.
Richard Owens: That's impossible.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: He used Lieutenant Evans' I.D.to get on the Seahawk.
Leon Vance: Then he faked Evans' suicide once he was onboard.
Richard Owens: Which means, he's still on the ship.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Captain, someone went to a lot of trouble to become Lieutenant Evans. Why?
Leon Vance: What were his assigned duties, Captain?
Richard Owens: As an IT, Lieutenant Evans' area of responsibility was to perform routine tests on the ship's security. But there has been no reported breaches.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not yet.
Richard Owens: I'll increase security on our weapons systems and the reactor, and if the son of a bitch is still on the ship, we'll find him.
Leon Vance: This will not be a manhunt, Captain. Last thing you want to do is to panic him. Agent DiNozzo will conduct his investigation when he returns to the ship. In the meantime, you might want to start verifying your personnel... Discreetly.
Richard Owens: Consider it done.
Leon Vance: Pack your bags, Agent Gibbs. Your boy's going to need some help.
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NCIS: Squad room / Cartagena: Banana Moon
Computer: Good morning, Agent Keating.
Timothy McGee: Keating... Agent Gibbs' desk.
Anthony DiNozzo: McGee?
Timothy McGee: Tony. Back on dry land?
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah. It's a tropical paradise, really. Just like The Blue Lagoon, except no white sand beaches, magical waterfalls, and definitely no Brooke Shields.
Timothy McGee: I've got some good news for you.
Anthony DiNozzo: You're coming to relieve me?
Timothy McGee: No, but Vance sent...
Anthony DiNozzo: Tequila? 'Cause I'm going to need at least a case to get through the next three months here.
Leon Vance: Is that DiNozzo?
Timothy McGee: Yeah.
Anthony DiNozzo: Everyone hates me. You know what? You better make it two cases. With Director Vance running things, I'm going to be Agent Afloating into my sixties. How's it going with him, anyway?
Leon Vance: Oh, couldn't be better, DiNozzo.
Anthony DiNozzo: Ah, Director Vance. I was just, uh... Just telling McGee how much I missed everyone.
Leon Vance: Sit-rep.
Anthony DiNozzo: Federales turned Lieutenant Evans' body over to the Cartagena morgue. I just paid a visit to the coroner. He's insisting on doing the autopsy himself.
Leon Vance: We need that report.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, that's easier said than done. This guy doesn't care much for Americans... Unless it's just me.
Leon Vance: We'll find out soon enough. Gibbs and Ziva flew out last night.
Anthony DiNozzo: To Cartagena?
Timothy McGee: Yeah, Tony. That's what I was trying to tell you before.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, when do they get here?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Already have.
Ziva David: Nice tan.
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NCIS: Abby's lab
Timothy McGee: Denied. Again.
Abigael Scuito: Didn't they teach you anything down there in Cyberville? No cyber jokes. Got it.
Timothy McGee: Extended firewalls, two mirrored hard drives. Whatever Lieutenant Evans was into he worked hard to cover up.
Abigael Scuito: Mirrored hard drives? Hope you didn't make plans tonight... Well, Ducky was right. It's snot.
Timothy McGee: It's not what?
Abigael Scuito: It's snot.
Timothy McGee: It's not?
Abigael Scuito: Yeah. It is.
Timothy McGee: It's what?
Abigael Scuito: Snot! The substance found in Lyndi Evans' hair! It's snot.
Timothy McGee: Well, why didn't you just say that?
Abigael Scuito: Ooh, that's odd... Major Mass Spec has found a rare spore buried in the killer's mucus. All I need to do now is find its origin.
Timothy McGee: Yes! I am in.
Abigael Scuito: Already?
Timothy McGee: All I had to do was tear down the firewalls and align the virtual images with their true counterparts.
Abigael Scuito: Timmy got new skillz.
Timothy McGee: It was a long four months.
Abigael Scuito: It still is, McGee.
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Cartagena: morgue, hallway
Anthony DiNozzo: So, let me guess. You guys caught a bad case of DiNozzoitis, had Vance to send you down south.
Ziva David: DiNozzoitis? Sounds venereal.
Anthony DiNozzo: Okay, don't admit it. I know you missed me. I missed you, boss.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, I know, DiNozzo... Yeah, Gibbs. At work now. I understand...
Anthony DiNozzo: What?
Ziva David: You seem, uh... Different.
Anthony DiNozzo: Taller? Hotter?
Ziva David: Older.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, it's been over four months.
Ziva David: You still beating yourself up over Jenny?
Anthony DiNozzo: Not as much as I used to.
Ziva David: Drinking?
Anthony DiNozzo: Not as much as I used to.
Ziva David: You could have called.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: COD's on the way from the Seahawk. You got an hour, DiNozzo.
Anthony DiNozzo: Okay. Listen, I was thinking maybe we should let Ziva handle the coroner. I got a hunch.
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Cartagena: morgue
Javier Delgado: No, no, no, senorita, no puede irse sin ver Cartagena. Hay muchas partes que son muy bonitas. Casi casi tan bonita como usted.
Ziva David: Ojala pueda volver a Cartagena, cuando tenga mas tiempo para conocer.
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Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Got a hunch, huh?
Anthony DiNozzo: The powers of observation.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: This kid took a hell of a hit.
Anthony DiNozzo: Trauma embotado de fuerza. Blunt force trauma resulting in the nasal bone penetrating the brain. According to Ducky, Lyndi Evans was killed exactly the same way.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: The same killer.
Anthony DiNozzo: The guy gets around... First he kills Evans' wife, in Washington, D.C. then Evans in Cartagena a day later?
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Cartagena: morgue / NCIS: Abby's lab
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, Gibbs.
Timothy McGee: We got big news, boss.
Abigael Scuito: Huge news. Ginormous news. Like, like, maybe you should be sitting down.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Abby.
Abigael Scuito: Sorry. Speak, McGee.
Timothy McGee: We ran through Lieutenant Evans' e-mail account, found an ongoing correspondence with someone in Singapore.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Name?
Abigael Scuito: Well, we're working on it, Gibbs. The e-mails' full of code words and jumbled ciphers, the whole shebang.
Timothy McGee: And they haven't stopped. Someone posing as Lieutenant Evans sent another e-mail a couple hours ago.
Abigael Scuito: And it contained references to both the USS Seahawk and ciprofloxacin, the antibiotic used to combat...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Anthrax.
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USS Seahawk: hallway
Richard Owens: Welcome to the Bird Farm.
Anthony DiNozzo: It's great to be back.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Completed the verification of your crew, Captain?
Richard Owens: Matching FSRs against 5,000 souls is not an easy task, Agent Gibbs. We're doing it discreetly. Damn near impossible... You get used to it.
Anthony DiNozzo: No, you don't.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Status on security systems?
Richard Owens: A handpicked team of ETs is filtering through any possible breaches in the ship's electronic data and control areas.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Are there other vulnerable areas?
Anthony DiNozzo: Water, supply, ventilation.
Ziva David: We believe Lieutenant Evans' killer may be carrying ciprofloxacin.
Anthony DiNozzo: To protect himself from anthrax.
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USS Seahawk: NCIS afloat
Richard Owens: Are you telling me this guy might be planning a biological attack on my carrier?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That's what we're here to find out.
Richard Owens: This is the Captain. Get me the XO.
Ziva David: This is where you have been the last month?
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, it's just like the squad room, only I'm the squad and there's no room.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Captain, we need to talk to the officer of the deck who let Lieutenant Evans' killer on board.
Richard Owens: Whatever you need.
Ziva David: Officer of the deck cannot be the only sailor who has had contact.
Anthony DiNozzo: She's not. Lieutenant Jonah Kaplan works in the communications room where Bizarro Evans clocked in for an hour.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Talk to him.
Anthony DiNozzo: I already did, boss. I'll talk to him again.
Richard Owens: Keep this as quiet as possible.
Ziva David: What are those doing on your wall?
Anthony DiNozzo: How did those get there?
Richard Owens: Safety is our primary concern. I've ordered guards posted at the vulnerable areas you're concerned about. I know you want to play this down, Gibbs, but my first priority is the safety of the ship. You've got 12 hours, then this becomes my investigation.
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USS Seahawk: hallway
Ziva David: McGee was specifically told to destroy those photos.
Anthony DiNozzo: I guess he forgot.
Ziva David: Then perhaps I should remind him.
Anthony DiNozzo: Go easy on the lad. He's had a rough summer.
Ziva David: Well, we all have.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, I think it was especially difficult for McGeek. He doesn't handle change well. Never has.
Ziva David: Well, he seems fine.
Anthony DiNozzo: Please. Cooped up in that techno basement for four months? You know how much he loves pounding the pavement, working leads, interrogating.
Ziva David: McGee?
Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, not to mention Gibbs, Duckster, you and me, Abs. I mean, everyone knows how close those two are.
Ziva David: McGee was in the sub-basement, Tony. They had lunch every week.
Anthony DiNozzo: It's not the same. You get used to seeing someone every day, talking to them, relying on them, and suddenly they're not there.
Ziva David: It's all part of the job.
Marine: Excuse me.
Anthony DiNozzo: Doesn't make it any easier for McGee.
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USS Seahawk: lounge room
Christina Solomon: As officer of the deck, I check in thousands of sailors, sir. I don't recall encountering Lieutenant Evans.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You didn't. The man you let on the carrier wasn't Evans.
Christina Solomon: Then who was it?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You tell me... Lieutenant Evans never left Cartagena, but you signed him in.
Christina Solomon: I check every sailor's orders, every Navy I.D. Whoever I let on had the necessary credentials.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hmm, they were stolen.
Christina Solomon: I match every face to every photo.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: And one squid looks just like every other squid.
Christina Solomon: I've been an officer of the deck for two years now, sir. I know how sailors talk, walk, smell. I know exactly how they carry their damn bags. There is no way in hell I let a civilian on this ship.
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USS Seahawk: COM Room
Anthony DiNozzo: Hey.
Eduardo Almeida: Agent DiNozzo.
Anthony DiNozzo: Almeida, this is Officer David.
Ziva David: Officer.
Anthony DiNozzo: Where's Lieutenant Kaplan?
Eduardo Almeida: Late for his watch. He should have relieved me at 1200 hours.
Ziva David: You did not see the man who logged in as Lieutenant Evans?
Eduardo Almeida: Well, Kaplan was on duty, not me.
Ziva David: So you do not know what station Lieutenant Evans worked at?
Eduardo Almeida: Uh, 3-F. The class-three I.T.s have a higher security clearance than anyone else in the unit. You can't touch that without a key card and pass code.
Ziva David: Who are you calling?
Anthony DiNozzo: I'm having the card shark paged.
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NCIS: MTAC
Voice: USS Seahawk, cyclone 127 scat-hotel-fox-five-niner. 2-7, USS Seahawk...
Leon Vance: What can I do for you, McGee?
Timothy McGee: Well, actually... It's more what I can do for you. The Seahawk's online security system has a mirror on the NMCI server. I'm pretty sure that I could get into it.
Leon Vance: Security specialists on the Seahawk are already looking for a breach. Why should I risk catching heat from SecNav if you get caught?
Timothy McGee: For one, I can do it better and faster. Two: someone on that team of Navy security specialists could be colluding with the killer.
Leon Vance: And the third?
Timothy McGee: How'd you know there was a third?
Leon Vance: There's always a third.
Timothy McGee: I won't get caught... Director, in the past four months, I haven't worked any crime scenes, pursued any leads or followed the trail of a single piece of physical evidence.
Leon Vance: Are you trying to talk me into or out of this, McGee?
Timothy McGee: What I have done is crack some of the toughest encryption this side of the browser wars. You know that I can do this... Okay, understood.
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USS Seahawk: NCIS afloat
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, as soon as I know more... Ship's crew has been verified. Everybody that's supposed to be here is here.
Ziva David: Looking for a ghost.
Anthony DiNozzo: Kaplan skipped his watch, not answering pages.
Ziva David: He was in D. C. before he joined the ship Conveniently.
Anthony DiNozzo: He's the only one who's seen Lieutenant Evans' killer.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Claims to have seen him.
Ziva David: You think Kaplan may be conspiring with the killer?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Or Kaplan is the killer.
Anthony DiNozzo: Kaplan could have checked on twice, first as himself then slipped away, checked on again as Lieutenant Evans.
Ziva David: Evans had a higher-level security clearance than Kaplan.
Anthony DiNozzo: Which Kaplan would have needed to gain access to secure areas of the ship.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Find him.
Anthony DiNozzo: Already on it.
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Video: Agent DiNozzo here with an urgent request. This is Lieutenant Jonah Kaplan. If you have seen him or have any information as to his whereabouts, please notify me immediately...
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Anthony DiNozzo: On a loop.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You got a B plan, DiNozzo?
Anthony DiNozzo: B... B plan? This is Plan B. Be prepared. B? Of course, I got a plan B. What kind of agent afloat would I be if I didn't have a plan B? You gotta, you gotta have a plan B. I'm all about the plan B. Agent DiNozzo... Plan A; they found him.
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USS Seahawk: Sick bay
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Lieutenant Kaplan?
Taylor Henley: ICU... Dr. Nguyen is examining him now. Couple of his bunkmates found him collapsed, rushed him in. His vital signs were weak, but we've been able to stabilize him... You can't...
Ziva David: Criminal investigation.
Anthony DiNozzo: What's wrong?
Russell Nguyen: We had to induce a coma. He had brain swelling. Lungs were collapsing.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Caused by?
Russell Nguyen: It's too soon to say. Could be a drug reaction. Severe bacterial infection.
Anthony DiNozzo: Could that be caused by anthrax?
Russell Nguyen: He would have to have been exposed to anthrax, which is highly improbable.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, let's say he was... How would you treat it?
Russell Nguyen: I'd... I'd administer Cipro... Should I be administering Cipro, Agent Gibbs?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: And then what?
Russell Nguyen: And then I'd send my advisories and my instructions along with his chart. He's going to be medevaced off the ship.
Anthony DiNozzo: Well, if he ever wakes up, it'll be in Leavenworth.
Ziva David: I don't think so. According to his file, Kaplan left D.C. two days before Lyndi Evans was killed... Kaplan did not do it.
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USS Seahawk: bunk
Anthony DiNozzo: Hey.. That... I hate it when you don't know what we're looking for, but it might kill you if you find it.
Ziva David: Morphine.
Anthony DiNozzo: Kaplan's the only one who can identify Lieutenant Evans' killer.
Ziva David: And he overdoses.
Anthony DiNozzo: Hell of a cowinkidink.
Ziva David: What's a cowinkidink?
Anthony DiNozzo: Coincidence.
Ziva David: You believe this is a dowinkyquink?
Anthony DiNozzo: Sarcasm, Ziva. You're back in America. Flip the switch.
Ziva David: Technically, we are not...
Anthony DiNozzo: American ship... American soil. Oh, American soil.
Ziva David: Enough already. You have three more months. What's the big deal?
Anthony DiNozzo: Easy for you to say.
Ziva David: What's that supposed to mean?
Anthony DiNozzo: You're back in D.C. which is what you wanted... Isn't it?
Ziva David: You get orders, Tony. You may not like them, but you follow them. That's why they're called orders.
Anthony DiNozzo: That's not what I asked... Something happened in Israel, didn't it? You'll say you don't want to talk about it, but your eyes won't shut up... Something you left behind maybe? Or someone?
Ziva David: You're right. I don't want to talk about it.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Doc tested Lieutenant Kaplan. No anthrax. Just...
Anthony DiNozzo: Morphine.
Ziva David: He was drugged.
Anthony DiNozzo: Killer's tying up loose ends.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Nowhere to run.
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USS Seahawk: bunk / NCIS Abby's lab
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. Go.
Abigael Scuito: Gibbs! Okay, after a whiny little temper tantrum, Major Mass Spec finally got his act together. Scored an I.D. on the spore from the mucus found in Lyndi Evans' 'do.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: And?
Abigael Scuito: It's Samoan.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: A what?
Abigael Scuito: Samoan. Our little spore is actually a strain of influenza.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Killer had the flu.
Abigael Scuito: Yeah. But not just any flu, Gibbs. This strain is particular to the American Somoan region of the South Pacific.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Abby, that's good work.
Abigael Scuito: I don't want to hear it.
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USS Seahawk: bunk
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Need to access the ship's sick bay records.
Anthony DiNozzo: Uh, McGee isn't here.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You.
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NCIS: Cyber Crimes Unit
Timothy McGee: Come on... So much for better and faster.
Abigael Scuito: McGee, what the hell is going on? I heard Vance sent you back to the subbasement.
Timothy McGee: No. I sent myself to the subbasement.
Abigael Scuito: So what's next? Sending Ziva back to Israel?
Timothy McGee: I can't breach the firewalls to the Seahawk's maintenance network.
Abigael Scuito: Why would you do this? It's preposterous, deplorable, absolutely illogical. Are you listening to me, McGee?
Timothy McGee: Yes. It is illogical... No, no, no, no. It's logical.
Abigael Scuito: It's a logic bomb!
Timothy McGee: Yes, Abby. It's a logic bomb.
Abigael Scuito: You can use a logic bomb to infiltrate the server.
Timothy McGee: Abs, that is fantastic.
Abigael Scuito: You're not the only one with skills, McGee.
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USS Seahawk: NCIS afloat
Anthony DiNozzo: Almost there, boss.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That's what you said ten minutes ago, DiNozzo.
Ziva David: What is the problem, Tony?
Anthony DiNozzo: There is no problem, Ziva. I've seen McGee do this a million times.
Ziva David: And a million times faster.
Anthony DiNozzo: McGee who?
Ziva David: In the last week, 49 sailors reported to sick bay with the flu.
Anthony DiNozzo: None of them joined the ship in Cartagena.
Ziva David: Perhaps the killer did not report his illness.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: American Samoa.
Anthony DiNozzo: All sailors deployed in the past month. Okay. Personnel Deployments. Where the hell are they?
Ziva David: Should I call McGee?
Anthony DiNozzo: Only if you want to be bored to death by him explaining what I have just done!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: There. Right there.
Anthony DiNozzo: I'm trying. Just waiting for my insult now.
Ziva David: Takes McGee only seconds.
Anthony DiNozzo: A lot of things take McGee seconds. Got it!
Ziva David: Six sailors joined the ship from American Samoa.
Anthony DiNozzo: Only three boarded in Cartagena.
Ziva David: But only one via D.C.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Sick bay.
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USS Seahawk: hallway / NCIS: Cyber Crimes Unit
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah?
Timothy McGee: Boss, just found a breach on the Seahawk's Requisitions and Accounting system.
Abigael Scuito: There was an order placed for 100 cases of ciprofloxacin. It's worth, like, half a million bucks.
Timothy McGee: But only half the order ever made it to the Seahawk. The rest is en route to Pulau Tekong.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Singapore.
Timothy McGee: Most likely a black-market distributor, boss. Not terrorism.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Money.
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USS Seahawk: Sick bay
Russell Nguyen: Agent Gibbs?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Where's Henley?
Russell Nguyen: He called in sick with the flu. Made sure he gave it to me first though.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Ziva, Officer of the Deck. Alert the captain. Tony!
Anthony DiNozzo: Security alert.
Russell Nguyen: It is just the flu, isn't it?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Kaplan. Where's Kaplan?
Russell Nguyen: He was transferred to the flight deck 20 minutes ago. Like I said, he's being medevaced to D.C.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It's Kaplan.
Russell Nguyen: Crash cart!
Corpsman: Right away!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: He's alive.
Russell Nguyen: Four milligrams Alasone stat!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Medevac.
Russell Nguyen: It's leaving right now.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hold that launch.
Anthony DiNozzo: We have to hold the medevac launch.
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USS Seahawk: Medevac
Marine: Medevac flight 3569, change of status. You are now holding.
Pilot: Copy that. Copy that. Medevac 3569 standing by.
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Taylor Henley: I said hurry up! We need to launch now!
Pilot: I can't.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Drop your weapon, Corpsman!
Taylor Henley: Get off the plane or, I swear, I will put a bullet in his head!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, you won't. He's your ride out of here.
Taylor Henley: I said get off this damn plane! Hurry the hell up!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Lieutenant Evans was buried in debt. You were his way out. He bought the drugs, you forged the documents, until the wife found out.
Taylor Henley: She should have stayed out of it!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You killed her after he deployed. You got to him before he boarded, you tried to talk him around it. That didn't work out well, did it?
Taylor Henley: I didn't need him anyway.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Just needed his I.D.
Taylor Henley: You are not stopping this plane from taking off!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You want to fly? Do you want to fly? Let's fly.
Pilot: Not cleared, sir!
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Tell them Special Agent Gibbs said, "Launch."
Pilot: Medevac to Flight Control.
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USS Seahawk: Deck
Console Operator: Captain, the medevac pilot's requesting clearance on Agent Gibbs' orders.
Anthony DiNozzo: Launch the plane.
Richard Owens: I've got an armed man aboard that aircraft.
Anthony DiNozzo: So have I, and he said launch it.
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USS Seahawk: Medevac
Console Operator: Flight 3569, you are now cleared for launch.
Taylor Henley: What the hell are you waiting for?
Console Operator: 3569, acknowledge.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Go!
Pilot: Copy that. Going to positive thrust.
Console Operator:Clear forward. Launch.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Nice flight?
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USS Seahawk: hallway
Ziva David: Seems like old times.
Anthony DiNozzo: Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn, 1980, actually.
Ziva David: I meant you, me and Gibbs.
Anthony DiNozzo: I know what you meant.
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USS Seahawk: Sick bay
Russell Nguyen: Keep your head straight. Don't move.
Anthony DiNozzo: COD's launching in ten, boss.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well, then, grab your gear.
Anthony DiNozzo: My gear?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. Your collar. You ride him home.
Anthony DiNozzo: Home?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Home, DiNozzo.
Ziva David: Home.
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USS Seahawk: hallway
Anthony DiNozzo: Make a hole! Coming through! Make a hole!
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NCIS: platform
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Owens wants to know if he's getting his Agent Afloat back.
Leon Vance: Request hit my desk today.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: The team needs him, Leon.
Leon Vance: I've already made my decision, Gibbs... And, in answer to your question... It was never a punishment.
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NCIS: Squad room
Anthony DiNozzo: So this nutjob is running through the mess hall, and he's completely naked, which is weird. Hey, boss. Talk to Vance?
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. Yeah. He was...
Abigael Scuito: Tony! You're back!
Anthony DiNozzo: In the flesh.
Abigael Scuito: For reals? Like, total reals? Like... "Pinky promise" permanent reals?
Anthony DiNozzo: Reassigned to D.C.effective immediately. Director just told me.
Timothy McGee: Never thought I'd say this, Tony, but it is nice to have you back.
Abigael Scuito: Nice? It's, like, spectacular. I kept every one of your postcards, and I have a whole DiNozzo wall in my lab.
Anthony DiNozzo: It was a long four months. I've got to say it's great to be home. Not that I didn't think I wouldn't be coming back because...
Abigael Scuito: So, anyway, Sister Rosita, she bowled a 260 last month. And I watched Titanic finally. It sinks at the end. Very weird.
